Girl Talk on Yik Yak | Oh, just know that if you encourage a teen to keep a baby, you’re part of the problem. That whole “oh, you’re gonna love it and it’s not so bad. You’re just scared right now.” No a child cannot raise a child.

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Girl Talk 1d

Oh, just know that if you encourage a teen to keep a baby, you’re part of the problem. That whole “oh, you’re gonna love it and it’s not so bad. You’re just scared right now.” No a child cannot raise a child.

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Anonymous 1d

a student at my school lost a newborn this week, and i’ve just been constantly thinking about how the child was neglected because it was being raised by a girl who just turned 19 and already had a 3 year old toddler. this country is so fucked

Anonymous 1d

No exactly, and this goes for all ages but especially convincing a teenager!!

Anonymous 1d

tbh I feel like the age to raise a child should be around 27 and up or when you're emotionally grown and good financially

Anonymous 1d

Facts

Anonymous 22h

i get that standpoint but i genuinely don’t think me or my friend would be here without her son he is the best thing that happened to us

Anonymous 23h

If the family is willing to raise the baby, then I’m not as concerned if the teen is the sole guardian, however, adoption is always a route that doesn’t seem to be discussed. There are more than 2 options

Anonymous 1d

I wouldn’t be with my boyfriend of 5 years if people followed this rhetoric and people told his mom to abort him too. One thing about being pro-choice is that women have the choice (hopefully in their state) of whether they want to keep it or not. I can’t sit here and agree with this when my bf mom had him at 15. Before dating him and talking to her, I probably would have thought the same as you. Everyone’s situation is different, and we can’t generalize.

-4

Anonymous

#4 1d

And parents’ classes need to be mandatory. Financial classes and mental health exams need to be mandatory as well.

Anonymous

#5 1d

You don’t have to actively discourage something to not encourage it. What this post is saying is that adults should allow the teen to make the decision themselves with all information taken into account.

Anonymous

#6 1d

I encourage people to make informed decisions about their bodies and situations—no one else, really, gets to decide that for them.

-1

Anonymous

#2 1d

Neglected?? Well damn, what the fuck

Anonymous

#5 1d

ok, nobody is saying that they wish your bf were aborted or that the mom shouldn’t have gotten a choice. what they’re saying is pressuring teen moms to have kids is a problem. nothing about this post implies offense to you, your bf, or his mom so the defensiveness reads weird

Anonymous

#7 1d

we think so, the baby was 7 months old i think and looked like a newborn still. and the mother didn’t seem to be super distressed after he passed. and i can’t really hate her, because she’s a child raising kids that she was forced to have. very sad situation

Anonymous

#5 1d

point to the sentence on this post that says people should be forced to get abortions

Anonymous

#9 22h

Adoption is also very hard on children, and if they’re not adopted immediately and stay in homes they’re subject to a lot of abuse. You also forget the very very strenuous and damaging effects that pregnancy can have on a teen’s body and mind. My mother had me young and had fairly severe post partum and struggled with breastfeed but was too ashamed to ask for help, a very immature response from a very immature age. I also had a coworker who had a child at 16 (who she adores but can be open about

Anonymous

#1 22h

the struggles with) who left her with pretty severe back pain. So while yes anyone having a baby should be fully educated on all the options, the pros, the cons, the neutrals on each, no one should pressure a teenager to make any specific decision. I think surrogacy is also a really good option for teens who may want to keep the pregnancy but not the child, as couples who want specific newborns often pay more iirc, so at least there’s some compensation for the trauma.

Anonymous

#5 22h

The op never said to pressure them into getting abortions, they said they’re against pressuring teens *into* keeping the baby. The best way is to give teens all the information possible and let it be their decision once they’re informed, and supporting them with whatever, not pushing a specific option.

Anonymous

#8 22h

No, it absolutely makes sense since people pressured her to get an abortion and she said no. In my case, thank God she said no, because she raised the best human on earth, and I'll stand by that lol.

Anonymous

#5 22h

Okay, that’s awesome she made her own choice, op is saying that’s what should be happening. No one should push kids to keep a baby OR abort it. It just happens most people (at least in my region) push the baby being kept waaaaayyyyy more than abortions

Anonymous

#2 22h

So if you aren't encouraging a teen mom to have a baby, what are you encouraging her to do, LOL? As I said, everyone should make informed decisions about their bodies and circumstances. I don't know what is so hard to understand about that.

Anonymous

#1 22h

This is my stance exactly. It's not wrong for a young mom to WANT to keep their child, but I recommend them taking into full consideration what comes with raising a child.

Anonymous

#5 22h

Okay your original comment is just giving “I love pancakes! “ so you hate waffles?” I can’t lie to you, which is why I believe you’re receiving backlash

Anonymous

#1 22h

I understand; I just felt it would make more sense to give a concrete example of how the opposite doesn’t always turn out as intended. I'm not against people getting abortions; I hope I made that clear. I'm against anyone forcing their opinions on a child in a stressful situation; in the end, they have to make a choice and stick with it, and no one else has to do that. My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years, and we haven't had one pregnancy scare bc we emphasize being responsible.

Anonymous

#1 22h

Well, I hate to break it to you, but a child can raise a child, and they can come out pretty fucking amazing.

Anonymous

#5 22h

Oh yeah I know, my mom had me as a teen and she did an amazing fucking job, I love her. But I also know it was very hard on her, very hard on me, and should never be glamourized. She’s doing so much better with my sisters now that she’s old enough to really raise a kid, that doesn’t mean she wasn’t a kick ass mother to me even when she messed up. No one is criticizing your bfs mom or saying abortion is the only choice, we’re just pointing out your post literally supports OP’s point but you’re-

Anonymous

#1 22h

-acting like it doesn’t.

Anonymous

#5 22h

I fully get that, everyone’s point here is that OP is saying we shouldn’t push our opinions onto kids, they’re just using what tends to be the most common example (as I hear many people push keeping the baby more than aborting it) so it feels very weird that you’re acting like they’re not saying it. Again with the pancakes and waffles, saying no one should be pressured to have a kid doesn’t mean someone should be pressured to abort it

Anonymous

#1 22h

Bc op said “no, a child cannot raise a child,” and in your case, that’s not true either! You got a kick ass mom and that’s amazing!

Anonymous

#5 22h

Sorta, my mom couldn’t raise a kid on her own. I think that’s more of OP’s point. My mom was on drugs and didn’t get sober until she lost custody of me and my father was an alcoholic. She left my dad and we both probably would’ve died if she didn’t have an amazing support system. I left another comment about how she was embarrassed to ask for help on breastfeeding and post partum (she didn’t even know what post partum was) which is an immature way to handle it, because she was a child. I love-

Anonymous

#1 22h

Also, FYI, some people become parents at any age and are shitty fucking parents and can’t raise a kid. So I can’t get behind “a child can't raise a kid” when there are a lot of parents out there who shouldn't be parents.

Anonymous

#1 22h

-my mom and I really appreciate how much she had to mature for me, but my childhood years were absolutely traumatic. For both of us. We were both babies really, and my mom was an older teen when she had me. A child on their own is more than likely not going to raise a kid well on their own, if your bfs mom did it? Hell fucking yeah! But she’s the exception, not the rule. A support system is almost always needed.

Anonymous

#5 22h

i’ve lived it they shouldn’t be parents

Anonymous

#5 22h

Oh yeah of course, but the sentiment is children are more likely to be way more immature. I’m 19, have always been regarded as logical and emotionally mature and stable, hell even motherly since I have 5 baby sisters, but I couldn’t be a mom right now. I can’t imagine how strong my mom was to be a mom. By saying kids can be fine parents just like adults, you discredit the insane work they have to do, much more than most adults do, to be amazing parents

Anonymous

#1 22h

A support system is needed for any newborn, no matter the parent's age. I was removed from my mom's custody by DCF when she was 45. My grandmother raised me, and she was a saint for taking me in; I was her baby. I was removed by DCF bc my mother is an abusive narcissist. I have found so much comfort in my bf and his family since my grandmother's passing. His mom is a lot like my grandmother, and at 16, I know she was a far better mother than my mother could ever be in this lifetime.

Anonymous

#10 22h

Yup, my mom had me at 30 and is quite literally the spawn of satan.

Anonymous

#5 22h

Yeah, again some people are just bad parents, but you’re discrediting all teen moms by acting like it’s just as easy as having a baby at an older age.

Anonymous

#1 22h

Even the teen moms in my family are better than the older parents. I believe all parents need a support system, as you said.

Anonymous

#5 22h

Your bf’s mom sounds like an absolutely wonderful woman and she’s so incredibly strong for pursuing her life the way she wants it. But don’t discredit her by saying it was just as easy to raise him as if she waited to have a kid when she was older and more naturally mayure, as I am aware having kids matures yiu fast if you’re a good parent. At 16 she should have only been worrying about school and being a new driver, but she took on an insane task and did an amazing job at it.

Anonymous

#5 22h

Your family sounds more the exception than the general rule then

Anonymous

#1 22h

She did have another beautiful human 9 years later!

Anonymous

#1 22h

Not an exception or a general rule, just choices we made and figured out.

Anonymous

#1 22h

No I just don't support the message “a child cannot raise a child.”

Anonymous

#1 21h

I agree about the surrogacy, tho I will say, once a child is convinced, they do have a right to life, you know?

Anonymous

#9 21h

Wdym convinced? Like if a teen is convinced they want kids? If so yes I agree! I jusy also agree all factors shouldn’t be sugar coated or demonized. There’s pros to birth and cons to abortion and vice versa

Anonymous

#5 21h

Yes of course, but generally navigating parenthood for teens is much much harder than navigating parenthood as an adult. Both biologically/physically as well as mentally!

Anonymous

#5 21h

Which I get, OP is generalizing here because in most cases a child on their own cannot raise a baby as successfully as an adult can. This isn’t to say this never happens, or that all adults are bad at raising kids, but generally speaking this is true. It holds even truer the younger you get. Teens from 13-15 are a lot less likely to be able to master parenthood (though no one really ever masters it) as teens 16-19, who are still less likely to be as good parents as those at a maturer age

Anonymous

#1 21h

I don't believe that's necessarily true. You are going to be a good parent or not.

Anonymous

#1 21h

Adults can have a full support system and still b ebad parents, I lived it. I've seen the opposite to be true.

Anonymous

#1 21h

It’s not at all to discredit child mothers or say all teen moms are bad, but it’s generally upsetting how some people really push teens to keep the baby for propriety sake and not for their own wishes especially because teen mothers do experience a lot of hardships. Some aren’t even necessarily related to the actual childcare aspect. Like how your bf’s mom was pressured to get an abortion, that had to be very mentally straining. The judgment a lot of teen mothers face is horrible as well.

Anonymous

#1 21h

Adults who are pregnant typically don’t experience this added social stigma.

Anonymous

#5 21h

No one is saying that’s not true, but it’s more likely for teen parents to (oft accidentally) be bad parents than adults. If you think a 16 year old is near as mature as a 25+ y/o, you have severely immature adults around you.

Anonymous

#1 21h

Adult parents make up the vast majority of DCF cases.

Anonymous

#1 21h

Again, adult parents make up the vast majority of DCF cases.

Anonymous

#5 21h

Where do you have this stat? And is this study weighted to consider most parents are adults not teens?

Anonymous

#1 21h

National Insititue of Health

Anonymous

#1 21h

You can look into this issue on your own time, friend.

Anonymous

#5 21h

I’ll check it, do you have the exact study you used to find this statement? I want to make sure I’m looking at the correct study to understand best where you’re getting this from, as differing studies use different ways and can have different results

Anonymous

#1 21h

See above

Anonymous

#5 21h

That’s the name of a website/insitution, not the specific name of a study, I’ll see what they have though

Anonymous

#5 21h

I found this study which I assume is not it, as it says nothing on abusers age and only on the age of the victims, still an interesting read if you’re curious so I’ll share anyways. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10815835/

Anonymous

#1 21h

Though not the same study you used, I did find a study that says adults make up most of abuse cases, but it concedes the adults were the largest age groups in the study.

Anonymous

#5 20h

You generally don’t seem open to admitting child pregnancy is extremely harder than adult pregnancy and under most circumstances results in poor parenting in at least the early years because the children are simply not mature enough to handle it, not to say they are automatically bad parents who can’t raise kids because of it, these two things can both be true. This fact that child pregnancy is often harder and less likely to be as healthy as adult parenting and pregnancy is what makes -

Anonymous

#1 20h

-teen mothers who did good like my mom and your bf’s mothers so badass. It is genuinely much harder to do and for most people (including my mom) is not nearly as good as parenting performed by adults in st least the early stages. Ignoring this fact discredits the hard work done by people like my mom and yours bf’s mom.

Anonymous

#1 20h

I never said it wasn't harder 🤣. If anything, I am saying they are better parents- what???? You fighting with the wall have so much fun, hun, fr.

Anonymous

#5 20h

I’m not, I’m trying to educate you because you seem very convinced teens are just as capable as raising kids as adults, when they’re not. It is factually much more challenging. Im attempting to have an open discussion on how teen pregnancy is hard since your comments originally seem to justify it and say it’s just as possible and in some way betters than adults, with you saying adults having the highest rate of DCF cases

Anonymous

#1 20h

Educate is the wrong word and seems kind of talking down, I can’t think of a better word atm though so I do apologize

Anonymous

#1 20h

Sorry that’s a typo. Conceived

Anonymous

#1 20h

But I agree with that too, the teen has every right to raise the child, but I feel like so many believe if they can’t themselves raise a baby they must terminate

Anonymous

#9 20h

I would terminate a baby if I got pregnant because of the horrible adoption system my child would go into and the child personally horrifying changes pregnancy brings, but I agree all people should be educated on ALL options to make a choice

Anonymous

#1 20h

This is why I also believe that even people who want a baby thats unexpected should still consider abortion and adoption in the sense they consider all possible factors of keeping and not keeping the baby to make the best decision

Anonymous

#1 20h

No, I don't think it's fair to say “kids can't raise kids” when full-blown adults can't even raise their own children.

Anonymous

#5 20h

Again I’ve addressed this, OP was generalizing based on GENERAL trends. Which isn’t the best to do if you’re in an academic study, but when making a post to social media is fine. Have you ever heard the bean soup theory?

Anonymous

#1 20h

You're still fighting a wall; now it's getting kinda funny. You aren't changing my opinion; have a great day!

Anonymous

#5 20h

What a limited worldview to view a discussion as a fight. Have a good day as well truly

Anonymous

#1 20h

Ok, fine, not a fight. I would rather not go back and forth with you any further! Capiche?

Anonymous

#1 20h

Tho this is the other thing that I sit with. I completely understand abortion after rape, but if consensual sex happens, isn’t that like avoiding consequences? Shouldn’t there be responsibility to some degree? Again, I’m not saying for a teen to raise the baby, but shouldn’t they be encouraged to carry the baby?

Anonymous

#5 20h

Okay, I enjoyed this as a genuine discussion between differing perspectives as a lot of time these things immediately escalate into name calling and refusal to see anyone’s opinion as your own. But it’d be shitty to keep this going if it’s bothering you. Have a good day as well, and well wishes to you and your found family!

Anonymous

#9 20h

Well if I take birth control, only have sex when I’m not ovulating, and he wears a condom, and we still end up in the very unlikely and unlucky few to get pregnant, why could I abort it? I made all the correct decisions and it’s something that I can actually make a decision on. A lot of things where you do everything right and stilk end up unlucky you can’t change, but this you can. Also consider married couples where the man has a vasectomy, and they can’t have kids for complications -

Anonymous

#1 20h

-in the mother, financially, or maybe even a hereditary disease they wouldn’t wanna pass down. Or they just don’t want to. It’s also horrible ti treat children as a punishment to your actions and can result in absuse and resentment for an innocent child. Oarenthood shoudk always be a choice

Anonymous

#1 20h

I didn’t call you a name; if anything, you made a quip about my “limited worldview, and about educating me,” which I don’t find to be a genuine discussion. Not to mention, my experiences have given me a unique perspective on life, and I stand by it. We can have differing opinions while still showing respect, but I felt that wasn’t reciprocated. Please enough.

Anonymous

#1 20h

But again, adoption is a possibility. And I want to make this clear I understand that the adoption system sucks and is failing families and children, but that is a separate issue. The fact that adoption is seen as a poor choice is a HUGE problem

Anonymous

#5 20h

I never said you called me names, I genuinely appreciate you didn’t and kept discussing this with me respectfully. And I conceded that the use of education came off like I was speaking down to you and wasn’t the correct word to use. Also yes, the fact you seemed to be getting more emotional and shut off claiming this was a fight did make me a little miffed, so I pointed that out. I respect your opinion, but my point was that you can hold your opinion was nuance. I generally agree with big idea

Anonymous

#9 20h

Oh yeah I agree adoption is always a valid choice, again pros and cons, and shouldn’t be demonized.

Anonymous

#1 20h

I still would have an abortion though as my right, but anyone else could choose adoption and I would support them wholeheartedly.

Anonymous

#1 20h

Now I'm emotional 🤣. This is what I mean, you are talking to a wall.

Anonymous

#5 20h

I’m not really sure how to respond to this? I feel like you’re being very picky and choosy with my points? I think you were mostly respectful but came off to me a little emotional with the comment preceding my quip. Again, sincerely have a good day

Anonymous

#1 20h

Because I am picking and choosing right now, you just seem like you like to rape boundaries. I said enough like a while ago.

Anonymous

#5 20h

That’s an insane fucking take??? You keep replying to me also you can just..stop??

Anonymous

#1 20h

Why can't you stop when I've repeatedly told you to?

Anonymous

#8 20h

I should’ve quit while I was ahead like you 😭😭

Anonymous

#1 20h

Now you're getting it.

Anonymous

#2 20h

Omg that’s horrible, I feel bad for everyone :/