i'm gonna do the absolute basics first and then more of a full shower after if you wanna incorporate more steps. for the basic order i like to do hair, body, then face. absolute basic shower, warm up for a few min under the water to open the pores. massage the shampoo at the root into your scalp. i like to use a scalp massager for the shower to gently do this. afterwards i brush my hair w conditioner. then i use body wash to get rid of any lingering conditioner on my skin and make sure to lather
everything. for labia i use a mild unscented cleanser but everything else normal body wash. i like to pay particular attention to labia (do NOT get it inside the vagina!), armpits, ears (also don't get soap or anything inside), bellybutton, and feet. most of these areas you should be gentle around. afterwards, deodorant (~30 min before physical activity ideally), lotion/body oil, skincare, and hair styling (if you want). it seems like a lot of steps but only takes maybe 20-30 min
for a more in-depth shower, for me before i step in i gently dry brush my body and use a wooden scalp massager for my hair, some people like to oil their hair for 10-20 min but i usually add it in smaller amounts as part of my daily hair care so i skip personally. shampoo as normal, once a week or so i'll put on a hair mask afterwards, put on a hair cap and exfoliate and shave while i wait. then wash and condition as normal. if i feel particularly grimy i might double cleanse my body (oil based
wash then removing oil w diff cleanser). everything else same as reg shower. if you can't reach areas like your back you can probs use a shower towel or something just make sure not to leave wet cloth/spongy items in the shower or it'll become pretty gross almost immediately. for exfoliating there isn't actually a hard and fast rule, some people's skin is more sensitive than others and the intensity also matters. my skin doesn't do well with rough exfoliation too often to i usually wait till i
go to the spa and have the aunties exfoliate a whole new layer lol but part of it is also cultural practice. you can use scrubs, i like exfoliating towels for at-home and i just do it whenever i feel like i have dead skin built up but some people prefer more/less often. after the shower, same stuff but maybe a leave-in conditioner and/or perfume in areas with lots of heat (neck, inner elbow, behind the knee, etc.)
for specific products it's hard cuz 1. i hate vanilla scents so i don't have personal experience 😵💫 2. it depends on your skin/hair. some ingredients don't mesh well with people at all, whereas those same ingredients can be a holy grail for others. experiment, sniff the bottles, figure out what works best for you and what you like