Anonymous #2 6w

and when u finally get a moment to breathe it's all u think about tbh

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Anonymous #4 6w

However i also have BPD soooo

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Anonymous #2 6w

I think sending a text to a partner once a day isn’t too much. Everyone has different schedules but I mean that’s barely anything

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Anonymous OP 6w

no one said that

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Anonymous moonlightbae 6w

it’s harder for us than it is for NT people. ADHD can be an explanation for something but it’s not an excuse to be a shitty friend just like any other neurodevelopmental disorder.

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Anonymous #7 6w

reason. so yeah it’s going to DISABLE us from acting “properly” sometimes. are you gonna mock me for how my brain is inherently wired bc i sometimes piss myself due to the lack of sensations i feel until i rlly have to go? just like i have those issues, i do have genuine difficulties with burnout and being able to use the last of my energy to construct a text well enough to communicate with another human. sometimes i can’t even talk to my mom. all in all, ofc ppl should let others know abt these

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Anonymous #7 6w

issues beforehand so that person can know if they want to be in our lives. it’s okay most of us understand bc it shouldn’t be a burden for you at all either. and if you are in our lives and feel like it’s badly effecting you then pls do what you need for yourself to be okay. your needs do matter and should be heard. but it’s also not helpful telling ppl they’re bad ppl bc their mental disability is disabling their everyday functions, which DOES include human communication & interactions

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Anonymous moonlightbae 6w

to add on to this, some of us don’t get diagnosed until adulthood. we have only taught ourselves the best we can to communicate while going thru burnout, esp if it’s a long-term burnout, and esp if you are AuDHD. however, this is only going to do sm. think of it as trying to teach yourself how to do a long formula to figure out a complex math problem with no teacher to help. you may be able to find out some of it, but it’s almost impossible to be able to get to that answer on your own

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Anonymous moonlightbae 6w

so while i have gotten some parts of the formula down aka i have learned some of what works for me to be able to communicate properly, bc of how late my conditions were recognized i haven’t received the specialized help i do need. so, while i do what i can and absolutely do not excuse it, i also wont make myself feel like i am a failure of a person bc i haven’t been able to figure out the correct answer (the specific ways to function based on my specific needs) to the my complex brain problem

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Anonymous #7 6w

correct. i was privileged enough to get diagnosed early, however even if you get diagnosed as an adult i also still recommend those people do therapies and other things to improve their communication and the way they interact with people. adhd effects your day to day life and it’s important to help yourself as much as you can. :)

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Anonymous moonlightbae 6w

and i’m not saying people with specific personality traits and/or ADHD, etc are failures at all either but i myself have felt that way SEVERAL times and it’s awful.

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Anonymous #7 6w

saying this ofc while i am receiving the help i do need but its very early in my journey**** it is important to get that help so you CAN function better in general life bc it makes your life and everyone’s life 100x better!!!! not saying this as in we shouldn’t do what we can to “better” ourselves, but not everything is being used as an excuse. humans are complex as it is. add these things into it and there is even more complexities. just we are not failures for not being developed the same

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Anonymous #7 6w

i think there's a difference here between your partner, friends, and your mom. a partner is supposed to be a 100/100 relationship, and as long as ur putting in ur best effort ur partner should see that. i struggle from severe adhd, and i find the relationships i let slip like this, are honestly the relationships i'm not the most invested in (makes the talking stage kinda hell). even if i go without contact for a while, i'll eventually reach out. idk this may just be a me thing.

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Anonymous moonlightbae 6w

absolutely agree!! that’s why i wanted to add that on that i am receiving help myself but just that it is still very early on. like genuinely only a month. and bc of how long i have been going thru life with these issues and how deeply it has caused me to burnout it will be a lot to unravel and work thru. it will be able to be worked thru and it has helped in many ways alr ofc! but it will be a process and i do not want it to be rushed either. but yes ppl should get whatever help they need!

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Anonymous moonlightbae 6w

and yeah i definitely have as well. like the feeling of my mental health or things im going thru being ignored. both sides are awful feelings in their own ways! but in a way this has also allowed me to be more empathetic to those who struggle to speak for whatever reason. ofc not saying that everyone should be empathetic towards it! they deserve to be heard!! just that as much as i do feel awful for how i do not talk well to others in times of intense burnout, ik making myself overthink and make

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Anonymous moonlightbae 6w

myself feel even worse than i do by feeling like a huge failure is not going to help either. the best one can do in this situation is reach out when they can and explain the situation to that person. express how they are sorry, and tell them they are in the process of bettering themselves. also assure they do care for their feelings and friendship. and just let that person come to their own decision if they want to stay in that persons life or if it’s better for them to move on! both are valid

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Anonymous ellie 6w

i absolutely get that! unfortunately every person i have in my life rn i do deeply care abt, and i try to reach out whenever i can, but i definitely know it is very possible for them to slip due to my lack of presence. as much as i dont want it to slip, i would always understand why as i dont believe it is fair for them either ofc! and this has happened in a long term relationship where we were LD for a few months. i still had strong feelings for them at the time but it was just very rough

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Anonymous ellie 6w

at the time. but my boyfriend at the time was also low needs autistic and i think that kinda helped him alr understand more during the times i was more silent. i would say it’s a you thing ONLY bc adhd (and autism. ik they’re different but they are v similar and i got my autism from my adhd mom along w whatever else increased my risk of getting it hahaha) effects every individual so widely differently it’s actually crazy to witness. like my condition vs my mom’s vs her bf’s suspected

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Anonymous ellie 6w

adhd or autism all look wildly different. i can technically “function properly” (hate saying that just dk how else to describe it) as an adult such as live independently like my mom and bf can. but at the same time i also have more difficulties with things as simple as being able to use the bathroom or personal hygiene. i can make myself go out and work pretty much everyday like them. but the likelihood of even a small burnout or less active “functioning” skills have always been higher for me

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Anonymous #9 6w

This disability has ruined my life in more ways than I can count, and unfortunately I’m also one of those people who are just finding out I have adhd. The relief I feel knowing there’s a name for why I do what I do. a reason that everything I’ve tried to “fix” hasn’t worked. I have a long road ahead. And treatment plans aren’t always perfect or linear. and it’s not an overnight thing.

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Anonymous #9 6w

I’d rather be alone than be around someone who can’t sympathize with my disability. The fact I disappointed you, let you down again, forgot something important, forgot to message you back, was too overwhelmed to reach out etc- hurts me far more than it hurts you. I never intended to hurt you. And I hate I can’t bounce back or learn from it the way you do-like a normal person does. And it hurts that I cant even communicate it correctly or show you by my actions.

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Anonymous #9 6w

All you hear is excuses -and all I see is helplessness and hopelessness. nobody understands me.

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Anonymous #9 6w

thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou. hearing this makes me want to cry. i feel so hopeless in this world. like i love technology but living w technology while dealing with these issues sucks sm. bc that affects expectation of constantly being in contact with ppl even if they’re not around is there or else you’re a bad friend or person who doesn’t care abt others. like no that’s genuinely not it. ppl have existed without tech much longer than we’ve existed with. life long bonds have been shared and

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Anonymous #9 6w

felt for centuries without it. even longer distance relations where written letters were used to keep up with each other. im sorry if you think not responding more than once a day makes me a bad friend and i dont want to hurt you so pls just do what’s best for you. bc sometimes no i cant keep up even w once a day. some times it is days. i NEED to rest. esp w no help for so long. ugh just thank you. im so happy to not feel alone. im so exhausted and tired of this world

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Anonymous #7 6w

i just don’t see how someone could look from the outside and decide what your friend/partner should or shouldn’t be okay with when they ARE. you’re not being a bad friend or partner if this is what works for you both

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Anonymous #10 6w

this isn’t a breakdown, and breakdowns aren’t inherently unhealthy. pretty much every adhd/autistic person will experience a breakdown. we cannot escape constant triggers only learn to better cope with them to prevent these breakdowns. but this isn’t a breakdown. these are either burnouts or shutdowns, which again are only bc we can’t escape what the world is expecting everyone to do constantly even with accommodations. it will still happen, just less and better manageable to “bounce back” after

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Anonymous #10 6w

or, this is also just what the adhd person in context needs to be able to function. you cannot tell us we are having a breakdown by using the tools we specifically need to be able to live our lives such as not responding to communication throughout the day while also dealing with our daily lives. what we need to do to survive isn’t going to look like what NT ppls daily lives may look like.

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