
and i don’t have any of the typical experiences of most people in their twenties(i’m 21 btw). i never dated or even been in a talking stage. i never had sex. so when im talking to people around my age or younger with these experiences, i feel behind. i don’t necessarily feel bad about it but i just feel i dont have anything to add to conversations. also, it just leads to people seeing me as this super innocent person with hardly any friends. i’m just curious if anyone else feels this way.
Yes. Im 23, I got into alcohol and became quite dependent on it in social environments because it’s the only time I felt people liked me. I’ve tried stopping and now I’m told I’m not myself anymore. It’s really exhausting. I have now had relationships, I’ve had sex. People still talk to me as if I’m an innocent little girl. Like I don’t know anything about the world. Because my personality is quiet. And it’s tiring. I know it’s not the exact same experience as yours but I feel some similarity.
I can relate. I wouldn’t consider myself boring because I do have hobbies and interested but I don’t drink, smoke, or party either and sometimes I feel like ppl feel that way. But I just stopped caring, I try to find ppl who are similar in that regard to me and invest my energy into developing skills or things I like/care about
drinking and smoking are not hobbies, theyre just social lube. you don't need to use them if you don't want to. just develop your own interests and hobbies and learn how to talk about them to people. i have been sober at parties but having a good time listening and being apart of cool conversations.
i feel you! i think going to a small college helped me out a lot. i was able to build relationships with people because of how small the campus was. unfortunately, since i graduated i don’t have the convenience of community offered anymore so it feels im back to square one. i would say just be patient with yourself. sometimes you just have to force yourself to get out there. it’s definitely easier said than done.
I definitely get that! Ive had a couple friends who never really drank/smoked/partied but then started to do it more. Nothing wrong with that but I think I felt kinda left behind. I think we just need more third spaces that aren’t school or like work related but just like fun lowkey things
That’s so interesting as someone who’s grown up in a smaller town but now lives in a bigger city for college. Sometimes I found success with going to community events, usually I find them through instagram. Like farmers markets, festivals and stuff. Sometimes you can find ppl with similar interests too?