Anonymous #1 14w

Like I’m listening to a podcast called anti racism school because I want to be more educated so I can be a better ally but is that just because I want black people to like me??? And then is that manipulate???? And/or is it racist????

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Anonymous #1 14w

Or or or or I sometimes slip into using aave when I’ve been exclusively hanging out with my black friends bcos I just pick it up and sometimes I don’t realize it’s aave. I try to avoid using aave that I’m aware is aave but there’s many things that I learned much after it’d been absorbed into my vocabulary

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Anonymous cyborgirl 14w

Girl 😭 my psychiatrist told me I have ocd and at first I didn’t rlly believe her but every day somebody tells me something that makes me go 🧐

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Anonymous cyborgirl 14w

Not you bullying me fkrjdjwlwlg

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Anonymous OP 14w

honestly i feel like you would know if you were doing racist things no? educating yourself doesn’t make you racist but all white people do have internalized racism and biases they have to unlearn

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Anonymous #3 14w

Yes!! That’s the basis of my question I think. White people are inherently racist because of the internal biases we have to unlearn. But how tf do I unlearn them if they were installed in me as an inherent function of our society?? N I don’t wanna ask my black friends if they’ve noticed anything because I don’t want to increase the burden of racism they face

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Anonymous OP 14w

honestly therapy and educating yourself helps

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Anonymous OP 14w

Girl that is definitely your OCD. The intrusive thoughts of what if I’m secretly a bad person are classic ocd

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Anonymous #4 14w

It would be worth bringing up to your therapist even for that reason

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Anonymous #3 14w

I’m basically asking if it’s okay to combine the two? I wouldn’t ask a white therapist if she thought I was secretly racist because how would she fuckin know, but would it be racist for my to ask a black therapist?? B

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Anonymous OP 14w

no… girl i think you have OCD. i mean that nicely but you shouldn’t be this worried about this.

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Anonymous OP 14w

you don’t need a racism coach to be educated on racism. google is your best friend in this situation. same with tiktok if you find the right people on there.

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Anonymous #4 14w

This actually makes me feel so much better about bringing it up to her bcos I’d wanna ask a white therapist too, though I do still think the black therapist would have a more accurate answer based on her lived experiences but maybe that’s racist idk 😭

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Anonymous #3 14w

Wait I’m sorry 😭 are you saying that I shouldn’t be worried about asking her or I should be worried but just not as worried as I am

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Anonymous #3 14w

Okay also sorry can I ask, is it an OCD thing that I’m worried that I’m only volunteering as virtuesignalling and not because I dont know it but I secretly don’t care about the right things?

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Anonymous OP 14w

Google scrupulosity ocd and see if it sounds like you

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Anonymous #4 14w

More on the morality part of it than the religious side

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Anonymous #4 14w

Thank you so much for this 😭 it hurts to learn I might have another brand of crazy than I was aware of lol but it makes me feel a lot better to know that it might just be in my brain and not actually that I’m a horrible person. And maybe I won’t always feel this way.

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Anonymous OP 14w

If it helps- Just as a general rule MOST bad people don’t spend hours of their life worrying about if they’re a bad person. They’re just bad people. The fact that you worry means you actually care about being a good person

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