Anonymous #1 17w

I mean yes, I’m not saying to neglect your partner and your relationship you just prioritize your child and their physical/mental/emotional wellbeing. I just saw a video of a bunch of guys picking between who is most important to them their mom, wife, or daughter/child. All of them put their wife before their child and that’s where this stemmed from

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Anonymous #2 17w

I don’t understand how it’s gross though, can you explain it to me?

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But howww like that’s your KID

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Anonymous OP 17w

I mean yes in a certain sense your wife should come first

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Anonymous #5 17w

It’s also weird to rank them?? Like what’s the context? Who would you save first in a fire? Who would you choose to spend time with?

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Anonymous #5 17w

Idk maybe it’s because I have a cynical view of marriage but I feel like if your kids aren’t your top priority and they aren’t valued or anything like that because of your partner then that can grow resentment that your child has for you. I think kids should be top priority while they are young and once they leave the house your partner should be your top priority. But your child in theory should always be with you too (not necessarily physically but emotionally) and the child IS your family

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Anonymous OP 17w

your spouse should be your other half. your rock. you should be able to trust them to prioritize you above all else imo. even outside of life or death decisions. the way you treat your spouse reflects on the kids. if you’re constantly lowering your spouse then the kids learn to devalue them too.

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Anonymous OP 17w

without me, a spouse would not have a child. i created that life. i deserve the respect to be first priority. bare minimum in my eyes.

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Anonymous OP 17w

Yeah I think it is because of your cynical view of marriage. But who says you have to rank them?? How would you rank your kids if you had to choose between them? Do you see how silly that sounds

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Anonymous OP 17w

also, if my spouse spends the 18 years prioritizing the kids over me, what relationship or respect will be left for our relationship after the 18 years? i was just shown i’m not a priority for 18 years. now all of a sudden i matter bc the kids are self sufficient? nah. my spouse will be the best example to my children on what healthy marriage looks like. and that looks like two spouses that love each other first and foremost. the kids will feel that love too.

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Anonymous #1 17w

it is weird but unfortunately it’s subconsciously. it should be wife kid mother.

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Anonymous OP 17w

I’d venture to guess it has to do with narcissistic behavioral patterns. Idk all the research but narcissists sometimes view their partners as their possessions whereas they view their children as extensions of themselves.

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