
Told my situationship and I would invite him over if I didn’t fucking live at home bc I don’t wanna do this. I don’t wanna deal with evening having to hear mt family speak I just want to die in silence. I don’t want to see their faces. And this isn’t just a period thing that’s a daily thing. I want to die. I want to run away. I’m so fucking devastated right now nothing is okay.
And I have to work tomorrow and Sunday. Then I leave Monday - Friday to go nanny in a home that isn’t mine and I hate it. I genuinely hate this. I have my degree. I’m 26. I went for teaching and nobody will hire me or there’s no positions open for my subjects. So the military really such a bad idea? Yes inna way. I would go officer bc more money, liberties, and authority. But that’s minimum 6 years. Or be an old ass enlisted for 4 years end at 30. Fuck me I want to die.
Not to mention the only coworker who is my age is married at 18, didn’t bear teen pregnancy and had 3 more. She had the smart mouth to say I wouldn’t make it in the military or that maybe I was just never meant to be married and die alone. How is that even a friend thing to say. She’s never there for me emotionally only when she feels like it or smth idk wants the info. That’s the extent of my friendships. I’m just so tired and confused and lost. I have nothing here for me.