yeah and another for me is i would LOVE to be a mom BUT i don't want to ONLY be a mom or seen as such. i have hobbies, dreams, favorites, and stories. being a mom would become a large aspect of my identity, but i don't want it to become my only identity. my life doesn't start when i have kids, it started well before they'll ever arrive.
this is the #1 reason i don’t want kids. misogyny still runs so deep into motherhood and nobody talks about it. the way that the mothers are expected to clean after thanksgiving dinner while the men sit and drink alcohol and have fun. the way that when you give birth, everyone comes to see the baby and nobody checks on you, who just shoved a human out of you. like i canttt.