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Girl Talk 12w
Is it just me or are some “avoidant attachment”s just pussies? Like oh, ur explanation for ghosting a girl who paid for ur entire date + a wknd away is bc she’s not ur type and ur “avoidant”?? PUSSY. Imho. But I can’t tell this friend that or I’m an ass.
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Anonymous 12w

Maybe I’m being too nice though. Maybe I should tell him that I actually am judging him for the way he acted and that I think he is a pussy for it

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Anonymous 12w

i’m avoidant too (working on it 😭) but that is so shitty

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Anonymous 12w

It wasn’t until I moved in with my ex that I realized my ex was avoidant. Fucking every issue was insanely small and easily fixable and if I was communicated to and my ex literally ran away from conversation by leaving to drive away to a friends house

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Anonymous 12w

i hate attatchment styles for exactly this reason. like sometimes it’s not a disorder and you’re just a dick

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 12w

Listen I’m not saying avoidant attachment isn’t real and a valid thing to work on, I just feel like when this friend says he’s an avoidant it’s always in the context of being non-confrontational and lowkey being a pussy. And from what I can tell, that’s not actually what avoidant attachment is 💀

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 12w

no definitely like he just seems like he’s using that as an excuse to justify shitty behavior

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 12w

He’s a new friend and I was considering setting him up with a friend before but now there is no fucking way I’m setting him up with anyone if this is the way he’ll act.

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 12w

In the moment I wasn’t even sure what to say I just kept going “poor girl.” And I was honest like, you don’t have any obligation to continue seeing someone you know you’re not interested in, but after she paid for hella shit and seemed to maybe expect some more contact, she deserves an explanation other than just getting blocked. The lack of empathy shocked me tbh 💀

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 12w

definitely. even if he is avoidant, that doesn’t excuse ghosting, especially after you’ve gone out with the person. you should totally tell him that was a dick move

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 12w

The funny thing is he doesn’t really believe in therapy and gets uncomfortable talking about mental health shit. I only just found this out, because our friend group all has mental illness and is open about it, and I’ve talked about my eating disorder (bulimia) a little off and on. I could tell he was uncomfortable once recently though and asked and he said he felt like it was just kind too “gory” for him (for context, I briefly discussed overeating and this guy loves final destination).

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 12w

And he basically said he grew up with the mentality that if something is wrong you don’t tell anyone and fix it yourself, and that it works for him, though it doesn’t have to work for everyone. I just kept saying “that’s interesting” cause tbh I am baffled a guy that’s so into blaming shitty behavior on an attachment style (though illogically, and claiming multiple of them) seems to believe claiming it will absolve him from any actual work to be better. Idk. Lost some respect for him that day.

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