Girl Talk on Yik Yak | Is 18 and 23 a bad age gap (I’m 18, he’s 23)

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Girl Talk 1d

Is 18 and 23 a bad age gap (I’m 18, he’s 23)

Anonymous 1d

Yes. Yall should have nothing in common and are in two completely different places in life.

Anonymous 1d

As a 24 year old who was once 23, I would have never ever dated an 18 year old. And still won’t. Firstly it feels predatory, secondly, why the fuck wouldn’t u want a partner that’s at least 21 so u can go out and get krunk with them?? #alcoholic #itsnotaproblem #turnmyswagon

Anonymous 1d

Age is one indicator of power dynamics, which is the real concern. Consider how you met, your life stages, your financial situations, your ability to end the relationship, and your confidence in yourself and your ability to speak up. In 99% of situations, 18 and 23 is not a healthy dynamic. If you have to ask, you’re likely in the majority.

Anonymous 1d

It’s ok I’m 19 and he’s 32 and we’ve been together for three years. Older guys know how to treat you right, don’t let the haters get to you OP

-5

🌞

Anonymous

#3 1d

It’s not absurd, idk why you’re acting like it is

-7

Anonymous

somuchthink 1d

I’m acting like this because it’s my opinion. No 23 year old should have anything in common with an 18 year old that just left highschool. Like I said the first time and will continue to say.

Anonymous

somuchthink 1d

When you’re as young as 18 and 23 the difference in maturity, life experience, and power that five years brings is too drastic to ever be okay

Anonymous

#7 1d

He literally groomed you while you were a minor if you’ve been together that long. He’s not treating you right, he’s taking advantage of your naivety

Anonymous

#8 1d

We’re literally engaged (or at least will be soon lol) Everyone’s so overblown on thinking age gaps are evil, it’s been normal for millennia

-5

Anonymous

#7 1d

How did you meet a 29 year old in a romantic way at 16?🤨 Age gaps are not evil, but 29 year olds grooming 16 year olds usually is.

Anonymous

#7 1d

The problem is the inherent power imbalance. Either he’s way more mature than you and should know better or he is dangerously immature for someone his age

Anonymous

#7 1d

My parents have an age gap of 7 years and are a perfectly healthy couple. But they got together much later in life. You were literally a child who a fully adult man wanted to get with. That is the definition of predatory

Anonymous

#7 1d

That doesn’t matter? That just means he’s good at grooming. Thats a literal fucking crime if yall have actually been together as long as you say

Anonymous

#7 1d

You were literally groomed.

Anonymous

#6 1d

We met in church and the pastor gave us his blessing. He’s well known to be a good guy and is vetted by the elders of the church. I get that otherwise it would be pretty sus tho

-4

Anonymous

#10 1d

No I wasn’t, he goes to church

-5

Anonymous

#7 1d

Ohhhhh. Now I understand why we think it’s ok

Anonymous

#7 1d

It’s still goddamn sus wtf is wrong with all those people?

Anonymous

#7 1d

That doesn’t matter are you kidding me 😭

Anonymous

#7 1d

OP back me up, you get it

-5

Anonymous

#7 1d

The church is the pinnacle of grooming

Anonymous

#7 1d

As someone who was GROOMED, you’re being/have been groomed and once again a 29 year old dating a 16 year old is 1. Illegal. 2. Disgusting. And 3. Embarrassing as fuck on his part and sad on yours

Anonymous

#9 1d

He waited till the age of consent in our state and I wouldn’t have had it any other way cause he knows what he’s doing waaaaayyyy more than any other guy my age I bet

-4

Anonymous

#7 1d

The fact that you can’t understand why this is bad proves that you aren’t mature enough to date someone that much older than you

Anonymous

#7 1d

Well if he didn’t wait until marriage then he’s not a very good Christian and I don’t care. DISGUSTING

Anonymous

#8 1d

One day in their 30s it’ll click man

Anonymous

#7 1d

He literally only waited to build trust and get you to use this argument to defend him

Anonymous

#7 1d

You’ve gotta be trolling. If not, run. Your church condones, no, enables pedophilia. At least delay doing anything that involves a legal or financial commitment or a child until you’ve finished your degree and have more perspective on the world. Search for stories of women who’ve deconstructed your specific religion. A faith that can’t stand up to some discernment is useless. No harm in seeing what issues people see and thinking about it.

Anonymous

#8 1d

I don’t go to CATHOLIC church

-5

Anonymous

#7 1d

That…. That doesn’t matter?!?! It’s all Christian denominations

Anonymous

#9 1d

It’s not illegal if my parents said ok which they did cause we all go to church together. He’s genuinely such a good caring guy, and tmi but he alwaaayysss has cared about my pleasure soooo much. Like yall have so many issues with men when I have the perfect one, so sorry yall don’t understand what I have

-5

Anonymous

#7 1d

You’re an evangelical or LDS. I know. Go look for the stories of people who were in your shoes 10 years ago.

Anonymous

#9 1d

It does cause that’s where we met and talked for years before we started dating, I know him so well and even my parents knew him forever

-5

Anonymous

#7 1d

YOU DONT HAVE A PERFECT ONE! No morally correct man would be with a literal child as a fully grown adult. You are too far gone and once again it doesn’t matter it’s disgusting

Anonymous

#9 1d

Ok as if anyone waits for marriage anymore let’s be so real

-3

Anonymous

#7 1d

Not a very good Christian are we

Anonymous

#7 1d

It doesn’t matter what’s legal, it matters what’s moral, and it is reprehensible for an adult to groom a child

Anonymous

#9 1d

Yeah in my thirties I’ll understand the hellscape of men I didn’t have to churn through like all you jealous hussies

-4

Anonymous

#7 1d

Ummm I have a fiancé so try again babe. An age appropriate one at that!

Anonymous

#9 1d

Wow that’s rude and bigoted I bet you don’t even go to church

-4

Anonymous

#7 1d

I’m a lesbian. I’m not jealous. I’m a victim of pedophilia. I am not jealous. I am trying to save you from a horrific and unhealthy situation

Anonymous

#6 1d

I’m actually Baptist

-5

Anonymous

#7 1d

Evangelical. Called it. I’m gonna block you now cause I don’t have the energy to help you understand. Good luck.

Anonymous

#7 1d

LMAO sure you are HAHA. Saying “no one waits for marriage anymore” followed by I’m Baptist?! As the granddaughter of a Baptist preacher, you are NOT following your teachings lmao

Anonymous

#6 1d

I understand that everyone here doesn’t have the context of actually knowing who he is or how wonderful and supportive my congregation is, so I forgive them for thinking how they do cause generally I would agree with them. I’m just saying in my case it worked out like a fairytale so it can happen!

-2

Anonymous

#9 1d

You can judge but there’s other men like him out there if you also want an exceptional good man to take care of you in all the right ways. Just sayin 🧏‍♀️

-2

Anonymous

#7 1d

No one needs to know who he is or what he’s like because there is nobody who is decent enough in other ways for grooming to be overlooked. I genuinely just feel bad for you. You’re a victim and you can’t even see it yet. You might never see it. That makes me so sad

Anonymous

#8 1d

It’s not grooming if we all go to church together. He didn’t take me away from any support systems or my people, and everyone sees how much he cares for me. I don’t need your options, my church knows us for who we are and I know other people just won’t understand. If I have a daughter I sure won’t be as judgmental as the rest of you

-2

Anonymous

#7 1d

I’m not judging you, I’m scared for you

Anonymous

#7 1d

And now I’m scared for your potential daughter

Anonymous

#7 1d

Ew someone DMd me saying they’d kill to date a 16 year old. I wasn’t just some 16 year old I knew him before that too in a non sexual way

-2

Anonymous

#7 1d

And none of that matters. When an adult dates a child, it is grooming. It doesn’t matter how caring they seem as a partner, it doesn’t matter who gives you their blessing, it doesn’t matter that you go to church together

Anonymous

#7 1d

Would you date a thirteen year old? When you were 16 would you have dated an 11 year old? Because that’s how much younger you are than him. And I assure you he views you the same way that you view people who are that much younger than you

Anonymous

#8 1d

Well… it makes me sad that you’re actually sad instead of just mad or judging me… I saw a table for a women’s shelter and SA/DV center that I liked what they do for women and saved a card. I’ll talk to them and I think they’d even agree that while yeah there’s red flags for *most* situations, mine is ok after I talk a lot and explain everything. Then I’ll come update yall with what they say so I can convince all of you too

Anonymous

#7 1d

I think you should do that

Anonymous

#8 1d

Ew thirteen year olds are literally barely teenagers. What you’re arguing makes no sense cause I’m like an old soul, he said he was only interested because I’m mature for my age and I am. I barely have anything in common with other teenagers and feel way older than I am so that argument doesn’t apply

-3

Anonymous

#7 1d

“I’m like an old soul” IT LITERALLY DOESNT MATTER! You were a child and pretty much still are. It doesn’t matter how old you feel, it matters how old you ARE

Anonymous

#7 1d

Going to church doesn’t mean he didn’t groom you tf kind of logic is that.

Anonymous

#9 1d

Ugh those are misguided but well intentioned laws made to protect the general average of people and I’m mentally much older and more mature than other people at 16. So when everyone including my church and parents agree that it doesn’t have to apply to me, they know best

-1

Anonymous

#7 1d

The way that you responded to the idea of dating a thirteen year old is how any rational, decent man would react to the thought of dating a 16 year old at 29