Anonymous #2 4w

I mean, I don’t have children. As a lady, I get asked about having children, told I secretly want to have children by family and family friends most times I see them. I think lots of folks do care if we don’t? And I love children! They’re sweethearts. I simply don’t have the money to give them the life I’d want them to have. And I never understood the whole having children = selfish or not having children = selfish thing. Lots of selfish AND loving/responsible reasons for both.

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Anonymous #2 4w

I’d never admonish all of folks who choose to have children as selfish, condescending, etc. It seems not just unkind…but also with too broad of a brush to be reasonable or logical?

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Anonymous #5 4w

I’m not saying not having children (or having children) in of itself is selfish; I’m saying the people in childfree community are generally selfish.

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Anonymous #2 4w

by “child free community” do you mean a specific group or just people that don’t have kids? because that’s a pretty crazy generalization for you to make

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Anonymous #2 4w

I would love to know your opinion on why that is, or your experience. My partner and I are childfree for multiple reasons. Perhaps the top reason is that we both have severe trauma from our childhood and we want to end the cycle of abuse. I actually think it’s more selfish to have children if you know you might pass down trauma or health conditions. I’m choosing to be quite selfless, in fact, by sacrificing the joy of parenthood.

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Anonymous #3 4w

I think they’re mostly referring to the insufferably online Reddit and Facebook communities centralized around it (like r/childfree, a literal hellscape). Not community as in people who don’t have kids. But also careful at the end there, bordering on some eugenics style rhetoric. People with health conditions can still live happy, worthwhile lives, and traumatic cycles can be ended with work. It’s selfish to have a kid knowing you’ll be lazy and not do that work. Not selfish to want to be better

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Anonymous og_beer 4w

that’s probably what they mean yeah, but like.. you can also just not go on there I feel like there’s groups of insufferable people under any description, and it’s not anything child-having related at all that makes those people annoying

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Anonymous #3 4w

i don’t think disabled people are selfish for having kids, personally. i think it’s shitty to not be prepared, but disabled people can definitely be prepared. my dad is bipolar and i inherited that, but im obviously so grateful to be alive still, even if it’s not a typical life

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