Anonymous #1 19h

I believe in the separation of church and state. In fact I believe in the separation of love, community, and church away from the state. From what I have read of US marital law it has changed significantly over the years, is likely to continue to change, and in no way reflects my love of my partner, community, or god

6

Anonymous OP 18h

sure but a woman having kids outside of wedlock is at a significant disadvantage and doesnt have the same legal protections as a married woman. it simply is NOT smart for a woman to do so. keep that in mind

24

Anonymous #1 18h

At different points in time the legal marital contract has been either damaging to men or damaging to women. It's better today than it use to be 50 years ago. You use to have to "prove fault" to get a divorce and domestic rape/violence were not recognized as actual legal language. Today is better, but the idea that I could marry a man today and the law could revert back to what it use to be scares me way more than any "disadvantage" I may have.

4

Anonymous #1 18h

I do know that a lot of people agree with the idea you are explaining, but it really is not as bullet proof as that. I believe the most important aspects in a parenting relationship is shared values, religion, and community. The law is the least important part and tbh is not trustworthy

1

Anonymous OP 17h

the law is the only real thing that can be enforced. values and community and religion are not tangible. they are ideas. the law is real and people face real life consequences when they break it. asking women to sacrifice their bodies, health, careers, mental health, the rest of their lives for motherhood, and risking DEATH... only to not want to grant her legal protections and safety nets that marriage gives her..... is immoral imo. she has everything to lose. she deserves legal protection.

12

Anonymous #1 17h

You are mistaken if you think any law is moral or is effective in protecting women. Look no further than the Sex Island Pedophile stuff, or court cases in the 1950s where the terms "domestic violence" and "domestic rape" were not legally recognized. Rape was a "marital right" The law was not a moral arbiter in the past and is not today. On the other hand communities are tangible, and so is god, and so is love.

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Anonymous OP 17h

The cost of an immoral act can be measured by ones place in community, their access to the love of their partner and children know what they've done, and in gods judgement who sees everything we all do and knows our hearts. The law, interestingly enough is often what people who do not invest in their relationships with each-other, a larger community, or god turn to. It is a far from adequate replacement

-2

Anonymous OP 16h

the law is a safety net. it isnt perfect, but its better than nothing. like i said, expecting women to sacrifice their bodies, physical health, mental health, careers, risk death, & care for children until they die... WITHOUT LEGAL PROTECTION? is ABSURD. communities & religion can only do so much. & not everyone believes in god. legal protections 100% matter. no smart woman would willingly agree to this. its wishful fairy tale thinking. i hope ur upfront with every woman so they can leave

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Anonymous #1 16h

Sounds like you are not open to my ideas (which is fine), but let me at least try to understand yours. Let me know if I get what you are trying to say: The way you see it, the protections provided by love, community, and god are insufficient. In other words you don't believe in them. You do believe US marital law protects men and women adequately and deals with the potential consequences of children better than love, community, and god can?

0

Anonymous OP 16h

no,i dont think the legal system is adequate. its not perfect. it doesnt always appropriately deal with things. but having a support system is better than none communities are important but they arent perfect either. some turn a blind eye to abuse. some are overworked & broke. what happens if someone is alone? can the community/god enforce laws? no. can they arrest someone? no. can they physically remove an abusive partner? no. what ur saying might sound OK on paper, but not in reality

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Anonymous #1 15h

Ok so in summary you believe: • Legal system is inadequate but you view what it provides as protection • Communities are important, but vary from group to group • You do not believe god can enforce laws I'm not sure I understand what you mean when you say "protection". I don't see marriage as providing a safety net. It just looks like it amplifies bad situations and adds a constant fear to good ones

0

Anonymous OP 15h

no offense but it doesnt sound like u know anything about the protections that marriage offers in the event of the husband's death or disability, the wife is protected & not thrown into poverty. if they separate & have children, the husband is required to pay child support/ alimony. this protects the kids from being thrown into poverty, & holds the absent father accountable by law if the husband dies, his property wont be seized and goes to the wife, so she isnt left in poverty

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Anonymous #1 15h

I have read the law. Replace what you called "husband" with "higher income earner" and that becomes a bit more accurate. Also take into account that by the law lawyers take a cut and there are also federal/state taxes on the alimony/child support and separation. A couples combined wealth is not split 50/50 It's more like 35:35

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Anonymous OP 15h

35+35=70 the other 30% goes to misc. taxes and fees. Long story short: The lawyers and the state benefit unjustly from that whole process.

7

Anonymous OP 15h

k. my points all still stand. in conclusion, be honest with every woman you see romantically so that she knows you aren't interested in giving her legal protections despite her sacrificing her body and life to create children. no woman ive ever met would be interested in that. as a woman, i would never entertain this for a second.

7

Anonymous OP 14h

Well considering the US marital laws don’t reflect any god, it’s pretty separate from church

1