Anonymous #2 3w

Because it’s still hurtful to give people ALL the options in the entire language and they return no effort to you. In another way, I assume you like multiple foods, right? If you said “hey I like ravioli and also lasagna” and people ONLY served you ravioli for every single meal, it would get exhausting. If you heard “well I think you don’t look like you enjoy lasagna, so I don’t believe you. So I’ll just give you ravioli” frequently, you’d get tired of it.

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Anonymous #1 3w

so essentially what you’re saying is that “any pronouns” actually means that you have a weighted preference across multiple pronouns and want to see a flatter use distribution rather than a spiky one favoring “vanilla” pronouns like “her”?

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Anonymous #2 3w

Yes exactly!

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Anonymous #1 3w

Thats kinda an unreasonable thing to expect everyone to be able to do lowkey

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Anonymous #1 3w

to be honest this seems reasonable to expect from people in your life but i’m not sure it’s reasonable to expect someone who’s well intending but not well educated on the topic of you and your gender idiosyncrasies to know / act on this complex of a preference

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Anonymous kidgoku 3w

When I introduce myself with multiple pronouns or even as just they/them, it is reasonable to expect not to hear she/her all the time. It’s even more reasonable to expect from friends and family.

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Anonymous #2 3w

I don’t need them to know the complexities of my gender, I simply wish people would not misgender me. I have corrected people probably twice in my entire 3 years of using these pronouns, and both times it was a close friend who knew better.

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Anonymous #2 3w

One last thing (I don’t wanna sound preachy, so sorry): I do know it’s possible because I have people in my life who do switch between my pronouns. They’re not any smarter than anyone else, they’ve just put in a tiny amount of effort more than others. And I know that it’s a tiny amount of effort because I do the same for other people who use multiple pronouns.

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Anonymous #1 3w

If you introduce yourself as they/them then its entirely reasonable to expect them to use those but if its any pronouns you are thereby giving options to people on what to call you, and most people in these instances will use the pronouns that are most commonly associated with the biological sex you were assigned at birth, because it is easier to remember rather than using multiple pronouns at equal rates, i doubt most people do this maliciously its just most convenient for them

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Anonymous kidgoku 3w

I also don’t believe it is malicious, however that does not mean it does not hurt my feelings. I make efforts to appear NOT as my birth sex, and so I think it’s reasonable for people to use pronouns I give them. (It’s reasonable to expect proper gendering regardless of appearance, but anyway.) I also list she/her last in my set of pronouns because they are LEAST preferred, and I usually say “they/he/she or just they/them”.

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Anonymous #1 3w

Ok but if they are least preferred and it clearly hurts your feelings then why do you continue to identify with them? This is not a gotcha it’s a genuine question. Also just because its put last doesn’t mean everyone is going to understand you prefer them the least

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Anonymous kidgoku 3w

I’ve actually been considering dropping she/her, so that’s a good question. The reason is that I feel like saying they/he misleads people into thinking I’m transmasc which I’m not exactly. To be honest I might do it soon, I’m just not there yet, if that makes sense?

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Anonymous kidgoku 3w

And to be clear, I would like people to use she/her for me IF people also regularly used the other sets too.

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Anonymous #1 3w

Oh damn i get what you mean about that

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