Anonymous #3 13h

Then that’s something for them to put in the effort to learn.

10

Anonymous #2 13h

That doesn’t really address what I said. If you give them the option they’re gonna choose whatever feels easier to them regardless of how anyone feels. And you can wish it’s different, until/unless the other party subconsciously or consciously feels differently. You can try to train them, but that highlights my point: if you give the option, they’ll choose what’s easier, aka you gotta take away the option if you want affect change effectively yourself

1

Anonymous #3 13h

*want to affect change

-2

Anonymous #3 13h

Thing is though, I’m not “giving them the option” it’s not she OR them, it’s she AND them, and I don’t feel comfortable going exclusively by they/them just like I don’t feel comfortable going by exclusively she/her. I also don’t feel like it’s my responsibility to change for those people in the first place. If that case, I wouldn’t have told them my pronouns in the first place

16

Anonymous OP 13h

but again, they will choose what feels easier to them. Even if it’s “she and them.” The choice of “she” is on the table. The choice is try to change their choice (using pleas or incentives), accepting the situation as is, or remain in turmoil over it. Your feelings are understandable, but unfortunately people don’t just spontaneously change

0

Anonymous #3 13h

hey so what the fuck is your problem?

9

Anonymous #5 12h

I’m not sure how to respond to this. I was just offering realism. We can 1) accept how people in our lives behave, 2) try to change their behavior ourselves, 3) wait for a different external force to change their behavior, 4) wait for them to change their behavior due to a force internal to them, 5) find new people. I personally find comfort from realism because it is grounding and tells me what I do or don’t have control over. Refusing to accept reality *only* perpetuates suffering

0

Anonymous #3 12h

were you asked for this? no. you’re just being an asshole

2

Anonymous #5 12h

Tbf it’s a public post people are gonna add input

6

Anonymous #5 12h

I mean, they posted on an open forum and I tried offering them the same method I use to comfort myself. If you find realism asinine instead of comforting that is your prerogative

6

Anonymous #3 12h

I wasn’t really asking for realism, though. I wasn’t saying “why can’t ppl respect my pronouns” I was saying “I hate when ppl don’t respect my pronouns” I was looking for other ppl who felt the same so I wouldn’t feel alone in feeling it, y’know?

7

Anonymous #3 12h

or maybe you could just not say anything?

4

Anonymous OP 12h

Understood

2

Anonymous #3 12h

Thnak you so much, sorry for dipping you there I wasn’t sure if you had malicious intent or not, now I’m sure you didn’t. Thank you for trying to console me in your own way

8

Anonymous OP 12h

Thank*

2

Anonymous OP 12h

Dogpiling* jeez

4

Anonymous OP 12h

Ayy no problem. Sorry I couldn’t help, but you’ll make your path. I’m sure you’re smart and capable and such. Hope is always a friend and there’s plenty of people out there that will respect you

4

Anonymous #3 12h

You’re so sweet actually, I hope the same for you!!!!!

3

Anonymous #5 12h

I wanted to offer the method I use to comfort myself. One person’s treasure is another’s piss water 😅 already made my peace with OP, who is sweet.

5

Anonymous #7 11h

maybe because people arnt also using they? use your brain mate

3

Anonymous #7 11h

There’s nothing wrong with the she, the problem is more ppl using ONLY she. Idk abt other ppl but for me I like when a mix of she/her and they/them are used when referring to me, so ppl only using she/her feels like them ignoring my preferred pronouns cuz if I didn’t say my pronouns they’d be using she/her anyway

20

Anonymous #7 10h

The issue is their pronouns are she AND they so people should be using both

8

Anonymous OP 10h

i understand that but ngl if it’s easier for me to say she then i’m gonna say she, especially if i know you won’t take offense to it

-1

Anonymous #7 10h

its not easier though? they are both basic english words that are one syllable. all you’re doing is saying that you wont put the effort in to respect people

7

Anonymous #7 10h

I would take offense to only using she/her but I can concede that realistically you wouldn’t know that just from an introduction and sadly even when I bring it up to ppl and how it makes me feel they don’t tend to change their habits anyway

12

Anonymous #7 10h

Degendering someone is a form of misgendering as well.

8

Anonymous #5 10h

no i am not going to consciously make an effort to flip flop back and forth between pronouns

-1

Anonymous #7 10h

Alright now we see the root of the issue and confusion

13

Anonymous #7 10h

Then you’re an arse and are intentionally misgendering someone.

10

Anonymous #7 10h

why? its easy. you use multiple separate pronouns for multiple separate people why not use multiple pronouns for the same. its easy. its only not easy to dumb people

11

Anonymous #7 10h

Got it! So you’re unable to use your brain for 0.2 seconds to say they sometimes? My brother-in-law is trans and isn’t out to everyone so my gf and I switch between she, they, and he constantly and guess what? ITS NOT HARD

11

Anonymous #8 10h

it’s not that i’m unable to, i just don’t care to. at the end of the day im still respecting your pronouns but it’s already enough to remind myself of the pronoun you want to use if ur not cis, im not worried about using a second pronoun, and this is coming from a gay man

-3

Anonymous #7 10h

You’re not respecting anyone’s pronouns by doing that though

11

Anonymous #7 10h

you arnt respecting their pronouns if you arnt using what someone prefers(both sets or pronouns not just one). you’re just a transphobic cis gay man

7

Anonymous #5 10h

to each their own, i’m not transphobic but if that’s how you feel 🤷‍♂️

-1

Anonymous #7 10h

You are when you’re intentionally degendering someone just because you refuse to learn and do better.

7

Anonymous #7 10h

“I don’t care to use all correct pronouns but I’m not transphobic” I’m sorry man but I’m calling bull

8

Anonymous #7 10h

you a cis person dont get to determine what is and isn’t transphobic. and its very transphobic to not respect someone’s pronouns

5

Anonymous #7 10h

What does you being a gay man have to do with shit? I guess since there’s weight behind our identities in this conversation, as a lesbian, you refusing and being too lazy to actually respect someone’s pronouns makes you a bad person. You are actively misgendering someone because to respect someone’s pronouns you’d have to use ALL of their pronouns. That’s like if your pronouns WERE he/him and I said “He is so nice. That’s her right there”

9

Anonymous #2 10h

to each their own

-1

Anonymous #7 9h

Nah, transphobia does not belong in this world.

7

Anonymous #2 9h

💀

-2

Anonymous #8 9h

i don’t care for people to use correct pronouns , call me what you want, it’s not that deep for me

-1

Anonymous #9 9h

I’ve honestly thought abt doing that as well but I figured if they don’t respect it either way I don’t want to put them in an order I don’t identify with, if that makes sense? It just sucks all around no matter you do

5

Anonymous #7 9h

Cool. That’s you. Not everyone else.

6

Anonymous #7 9h

the way it literally is that deep. youre really just announcing loudly that youre a biggot idiot

6

Anonymous #5 9h

i literally said “to me”

-2

Anonymous OP 9h

yeahhh i get you twin 😭

4

Anonymous #7 9h

cool. just because you lack the mental capacity to respect pronouns doesn’t mean its ok

1

Anonymous #8 9h

ngl using ur example, it takes too much effort to override the pattern of using the same gender pronouns. i’d rather use she or they than risk accidentally slipping up

-2

Anonymous #7 9h

so you’re stupid is what you’re saying

3

Anonymous #5 9h

that*

2

Anonymous #5 9h

no i’m just not putting in effort with something that doesn’t concern me

0

Anonymous #7 9h

Because you’re a transphobic arse.

3

Anonymous #2 9h

if that makes me transphobic then ig im transphobic

0

Anonymous #7 9h

At least he admits it ig

6

Anonymous #7 9h

why the fuck are you ok with being transphobic?

3

Anonymous #5 9h

this is the internet and you’re making an assumption based on one thing i disagree with. and apparently as someone who’s not trans i can’t say what’s transphobic or not so 🤷‍♂️

0

Anonymous #7 9h

I’d say the latter half is common sense irl too but yeah sure

3

Anonymous OP 9h

i don’t really care either way , i’m not trans so

1

Anonymous #7 9h

the one thing you disagree with is respecting people’s pronouns. thats transphobic

5

Anonymous #7 9h

youre too dumb to care i see how it is

5

Anonymous #5 9h

no more like it’s not my problem whatsoever

0

Anonymous #7 9h

except it is. treat people with respect

1

Anonymous #5 9h

i do. your panties are in a trust cause i’m not using multiple pronouns. if trans people stopped making everything so complicated the world would go round much smoother

0

Anonymous #7 9h

And this is the guy who at first said he wasn’t transphobic

3

Anonymous #7 9h

you dont if you don’t respect pronouns. You’re just too dumb for that admit it

4

Anonymous OP 9h

i wasn’t then but u am now

0

Anonymous #7 9h

Crazy thing to say btw

4

Anonymous #7 9h

sureeeeeee

3

Anonymous #4 8h

Yeah i have a bit of difficulty using multiple different pronouns for the same person, even when i try to - it’s just different than what most people are used to i think

-2

Anonymous #12 7m

yeah i have issues where im always convinced im lying and one of the ways i feel im "lying" is in language, so i dont switch pronouns in one conversation unless explicitly told to. i try to but if someone has multiple pronouns ill usually just use the set most people ignore and sometimes (in different conversations) use the other set

1