Anonymous #1 1w

idk about privileged but it does give childish and unempathetic. all people deserve some form of empathy

26

Anonymous #2 1w

then start a discussion with them privately? don’t ruin their life and make them hate queer people even more

6

Anonymous #2 1w

Ok, but what’s the solution here? “I’ll make them like gay people by being the reason they become a victim of oppression and hate too”? Nah. That makes people did their heels in deeper into the ground by “validating” their hatred

17

Anonymous #1 1w

So the queer ppl that are out should just suffer and wait for them to come out? Right…. Right…

1

Anonymous #2 1w

like i said before, no. open dialogue should be possible. also, you can stop interacting with someone without making them public enemy number one

5

Anonymous #2 1w

No, we just shouldn’t support mutual suffering like it’s the solution to homophobia

8

Anonymous #3 1w

well yeah but i meant posting it publicly for everybody to see

20

Anonymous OP 1w

Yea major no

4

Anonymous OP 1w

Ok what if open dialogue doesn’t work— what then? Is it ok that the DL men is mistreating the Queer person? Is that ok? Is that right?

5

Anonymous OP 1w

I don’t think you understand how harassment works. Sometimes, ppl have sm internalized homophobia they constantly bully and mistreat queer ppl and it’s weird as fuck. And the fact yall are defending that is crazy.

2

Anonymous #2 1w

I don’t believe in anyone being outed— but they should just be quiet and do self reflection and work on themselves. BUT be held accountable for their actions bc AGAIN DL men treat feminine men like dog shit a lot of the time.

5

Anonymous #2 1w

no one ever said it was okay to mistreat anyone but the way to stop mistreatment is not to create more. open dialogue may not work but what are you proposing? forcing them to endure the same hatred? someone who is obviously more conflicted in their self hatred and could very likely do something they can’t undo?

0

Anonymous OP 1w

That’s not what I’m saying— I’m proposing that it’s a lot more complex than people make it out to be. I study psychology in school and I even see it myself the way DL men treat gay men that are out on my campus. It’s disgusting. I’m not proposing anyone should have to endure anything and I’ve made that clear multiple times.

1

Anonymous OP 1w

Are you also saying this as a queer person or as a straight person? Bc if ur a straight person trying to tell a queer man rn about how he should feel about DL men that’s kind of actually crazy but ok

1

Anonymous #2 1w

now why would i be on the lgbtqia+ yik yak if i was straight

-3

Anonymous OP 1w

Idfk anyways u get what im saying

1

Anonymous #2 1w

i think your focus on the psychology of it all helps my point. psychologically, punishing a behavior is less effective than rewarding a behavior. if you give them a safe space where they feel comfortable that is more likely to change their actions than punishing them

1

Anonymous OP 1w

I’m not saying anyone should be outed. There is no argument— I’m agreeing to disagree. I’m a psychology major who’s been in school for two years, and I’m almost done my degree. So here’s my point. Gender roles exist, masculinity is pushed on men at a very young age. So they act out, think they can do what ever they want and that they “have to act hypermasculine.” I’m not saying being DL makes u a bad person, my claim is that sometimes DL men can be very bad people.

1

Anonymous OP 1w

Have a day

1

Anonymous OP 1w

That’s not going to work in every instance.

1

Anonymous #2 1w

i have a bachelors in sociology with a minor in women’s and gender studies. your degree does not make your point more valid. of course gender roles exist but you can also help someone to realize they don’t have to fit into a gender role or that you can fit a gender role while still being a good person

1

Anonymous OP 1w

If my degree doesn’t make my point more valid— why did you lead with having a sociology degree?

1

Anonymous OP 1w

Lmao

1

Anonymous #2 1w

because i am responding to what you mentioned! that’s how conversations work!

1

Anonymous OP 1w

Ok but ur going against ur own claim— ur claim is that degrees don’t make ur point more valid. If u truly believe that why would u flex ur BA or BS?

1

Anonymous OP 1w

Ur digging urself a deeper hole

1

Anonymous #2 1w

you were claiming to have a moral superiority because you are in school for a specific thing. i am showing you that you have no idea what other people know and flexing that you are eventually going to have a psychology degree is not productive

5

Anonymous OP 1w

I didn’t claim moral superiority— I’m just saying from what I learned and my own experiences. Why is that so wrong to speak about? I’m proud of my education. I’m not trying to flex shit. Anyways this is getting no where so I’m just going to block u.

1

Anonymous #5 1w

it’s perfectly okay to experiment with someone but it is important to make a good judgement call. 90% of the time most queer people will not out you if you are genuinely reaching out for help and you make your intentions clear.

1

Anonymous #5 1w

Also what does DL mean?

1

Anonymous #5 1w

downlow. like they’re gay but on the downlow.

1

Anonymous #2 1w

I think you are being a lot less consistent than you realize. “I’m not saying anyone should be outed…my claim is that sometimes DL men can be very bad people.” If that was really your intended claim then it didn’t come off that way. In your initial comment, you said that outing someone DL is “an issue at least.” No one is arguing that DL men aren’t sometimes bad; I’m not sure where you’re getting that idea from. You may be committing some transference bc no one is saying that in this thread.

1

Anonymous #2 1w

I’m also quite interested in you saying “Bc if ur a straight person trying to tell a queer man rn about how he should feel about DL men that’s kind of actually crazy…” No one has made any comment at all towards how you or anyone should feel about DL men. Literally all that was said is that they shouldn’t be outed.

1

Anonymous #7 1w

that is a crazy broad assumption

1

Anonymous OP 1w

Idc they be cheating with kids and a wife at home. Cheaters deserve nothing. Just wasting their wife’s time.

0

Anonymous #7 1w

for the small amount of men who are DL, i think telling their wives is an okay solution because she does deserve to know. publicly outing them still isn’t okay

0

Anonymous OP 1w

I understand that they’re a victim but they be cheating so I still don’t care. Now for the ones that are single and are outed…. Yeah that’s not right.

0

Anonymous #7 1w

I’m basically with #7 although I think it should be the spouse’s decision to go public or not with the affair.

1