
I was in the middle of writing a reply, but then when I hit “send” it said you’d already deleted your comments I’m sorry. it was honestly a dick move on my part to not consider that maybe there was a tangible reason why being with another woman felt like such a far-off impossibility for you
I imagine it was her seeing strapping as queer for herself, which is an extremely personal experience. Authentically identifying with something (either internally or in the bedroom) is not what my post is about. I’m calling out those who "prove" another's sexuality by penetrating them, which is perpetuating toxic masculinity & completely ignoring the other’s say about their own identity. #5 has a say in her own identity, no one else does. She’s valid and I hope she’s ok :/
she said something about wanting sex with her boyfriend to give her “the lesbian sex experience”, which I thought sounded ridiculous at first (as a bisexual myself) and I gave her shit about it. but then she explained that dating women wasn’t an option for her because her family would disown her
so I realized I was being an asshole. because of Course a bisexual woman who desperately yearns for intimacy with another woman, but who can’t safely pursue that desire, would have to come up with inward framings of her relationship with a man that allow her to feel a little closer to the experience of being with a woman. I fucked up by failing to give thought to circumstances less privileged than my own
so like, to be clear, your post itself was definitely not the issue (especially because of all that carefully-articulated nuance you tacked on in the replies). I’m the one who left an unjustifiably snarky & dismissive response, and that’s what led to her feeling bad and deleting her comments