Anonymous #2 1w

intended implication =/= applied implication

6

Whoa there, that last sentence was a crazy reach. So because of the way you’re interpreting pansexual people disclosing their sexuality to you, that makes them all chasers? I’m not quite sure how the logic adds up to that.

71

So, sounds like you’re actually being a bigot while complaining about others seeming to be ones

57

“I want to have sex with trans people” = chaser “I don’t want to have sex with trans people” = transphobic Make it make sense.

-6

Anonymous OP 1w

theyre not entirely different, but there are differences between cis and trans women that may affect whether someone is willing to date them, such as genital preferences. saying youre pansexual essentially states that it doesnt matter to them. this doesn’t necessarily mean that bi/lesbians arent willing to date trans women bc not everyone has a genital preference, but some do.

-11

Anonymous #3 1w

i am saying that pansexual people have historically behaved in disrespectful and fetishistic ways towards me. they are not inherently chasers, but i have enough experience with chasers to recognize warning early signs. this is one of them. proportionately, pansexual men in specific have fetishized me at a higher rate that any other demographic. it isn’t universal, but i’ve had plenty of other trans women share similar experiences

9

Anonymous #5 1w

massive over simplification “i want to have sex with someone BECAUSE they are trans” is chaser, “i am attracted to trans women because i see them as a woman and i am attracted to women” isn’t. “i don’t want to have sex with a trans person because i dislike trans people” is transphobic. “this woman is attractive but i do not think i am sexually compatible with a trans woman” is not.

19

Anonymous OP 1w

you can’t honestly tell me that sex with a cis woman and sex with a trans woman are identical experiences, can you? If not, why do you insist that it’s immoral to like one over the other, or both?

-10

Anonymous #5 1w

bro a hole is a hole sex with anyone is not fundamental different than sex with anyone else. Each person will probably be a different experience tho. It’s like a snowflake

28

Anonymous #8 1w

being completely sincere when i say that you understand this better than most people on this app seem to. like the phrase “a hole is a hole” is vile but the actual sentiment of what you’re saying is on the money

6

Anonymous OP 1w

Listen, I love fancy words and pretty language, but sometimes you gotta get down and dirty with it. Some of the most simple truths are put in the least elegant ways.

9

Anonymous #5 1w

sex with a fat woman and sex with a skinny woman are not identical experiences but somehow if you’re attracted to women that’s not a meaningful distinction. people have all kinds of different bodies. also it’s clearly unsaid in your argument that the trans women in question don’t have bottom surgery. many trans women do, sex w them is literally the same as sex w cis women. even without bottom surgery, it’s sex with a woman. not rocket science.

24

Anonymous OP 1w

So let me get this straight, pan people are chasers for sharing their sexuality with the INTENTION of the normal identity swap that happens when you meet someone on a dating app, because YOU personally apply an implication to it? I always tell people I’m pan and trans and I expect them to share their identities back so we can get to know each other.

18

Anonymous #12 1w

OP is saying there are a LOT of people who do it, I’ll say it’s not exclusive to pan people. The POINT is that even when trying to ‘be inclusive’ or ‘make it known’ that you’re “okay” with f*cking me you’re adding an extra step that calls attention to my transness. When realistically I’m just a girl, and you’re just a guy, we can’t just feel it and flirt like everyone else? It ruins it every time

0

Anonymous #13 1w

Exactly

8

Lady, that is literally pan-phobia. Saying pan people tend to be chasers is like claiming bi people are only pretending to be bi to get attention. Chasers are a issue but it has nothing to do with someone being pan.

13

Anonymous #12 1w

They’re not insinuating your a man, they’re trying to figure out if your biphobic. Sometimes its not about you and and even if it is some people want to make sure they are not wasting each other’s time. Also welcome to the world of trying to date men, thats how they all flirt regardless if your cis/trans - with their second head. Its exhausting

21

Anonymous #13 1w

I wouldn’t entirely dismiss their experience, I have indeed seen folks respond to finding out someone is transgender and going, “aw no worries, I’m pan ;)”. Which does sadly imply that they don’t see the trans person like they’re anyone other girl/guy. But as a bi lady, sometimes it can also be that we tell folks b/c we know it can be a deal-breaker for a lot of folks. So it’s not always meant to imply that! But I think both you guys are bringing up situations that are both super real.

9

Anonymous #14 1w

Problem is dating a trans person vs dating a cis person is like dating a tall person vs dating short person. Every human is unique, and whether your going to be able accommodate a potential partners needs often needs to be communicated up front. Fetishizing trans people is a issue, i’m not saying it doesn’t happen, but getting angry at potential partners for being up front with acknowledging the dynamics is crazy. Especially when they are singling out a sexuality that already gets excluded.

2

Anonymous #13 1w

It’s not anger at potential partners for being up front with sexuality. It’s frustration at the fact that people feel the need to mention their sexuality as a *sign that they’ll get with you. Everyone misunderstood this post and OP didn’t say it the right way anyways but you wouldn’t introduce yourself as a bi man to a woman instantly if you were just flirting, but you would ‘have to’ if it was a man (and people do that for trans women too, which was the point)

3

Anonymous #12 1w

Bi men dont introduce themselves as bi up front to cis women because a lot of bi men are closeted because of homophobia- they also do it because how the fuck else will other gay people know they are gay?? Yes there are fetishizers but some people just want to let others know they are in the mafia. Not to mention if your on a dating app like op, its clear your not just looking to flirt. The frustration with fetishizing is one thing but you cant get mad that people are communicating with you.

8

Anonymous #13 1w

That’s what I’m saying. We can tell when it comes up naturally vs when mentioned because I’m trans specifically. Unfortunately it’s not usually natural and carries connotations of ‘I like you bc I’m queer’ not ‘I like you and btw I’m queer’

6

Anonymous #6 1w

I think their point is that If the first thing you say to someone after they come out to you is “it’s ok I like dick too” you’re being weird

13

Anonymous #15 1w

saying youre pan is different from saying "i like dick" 😭😭😭. also op is just making an assumption, that might not even be the reason why this person is saying theyre pan.

4

Anonymous #6 1w

Are they making an assumption or is this a heavily nuanced post that’s situational, speaks on OPs own experience as a trans woman, and doesn’t apply to everyone?

9

Anonymous #11 1w

literally read the rest of this comment section. its extremely obvious that op just has an issue with pan people bc ive never heard anyone else complain about this.

-1

Anonymous #11 1w

hah guess op deleted their comments 🤣🤣 dont think i forgot what u said

-1

Anonymous #6 1w

Okay I did see after leaving that comment that she said she views pansexuality as ‘The chaser sexuality’ to quote her. She’s complaining about bigotry while being a bigot herself.

5

Anonymous #11 1w

exactly. im not going to take her point seriously if shes acting like a bigot herself.

5