Anonymous #1 1w

say this on ur main account bet ur too scared lmaooo

34

Anonymous #8 1w

Have some self respect Jesus Christ

14

Anonymous #8 1w

well nobody is saying they're not allowed to have preferences. they asked if their perception of trans people makes them transphobic, and it does. if there's no physical hangup in any way and the only thing that breaks your rule is someone's "transness" itself, then that is (possibly internalized) transphobia.

40

Anonymous #8 1w

DO NOT put yourself below cis people

16

Anonymous #10 1w

should we call bella hadid? like, get a diary

31

Anonymous OP 1w

I’m literally not🤣 I’m putting myself first in not being an experiment or a step out of a comfort zone for someone that would prefer a cisgender person. I don’t judge someone for that, I just prefer someone comfortable with me as me

19

Anonymous #8 1w

You literally are though. You said that you understand why someone would not be attracted to a trans person. That's fucking insane.

4

Anonymous OP 1w

There’s a difference in simply understanding a behavior and condoning it

16

Anonymous #8 1w

Hey #8, there’s no reason to argue with these people. 99.9% of normal people (lgbtq+ or not) would agree with you, there’s just no persuading overly online crazies like them lol.

12

Anonymous #12 1w

Thank you ☺️ Makes me feel like I’m not going insane lmao

10

Anonymous #14 1w

I’m realizing now the person in the original post said they’re bi so that’s dumb asf though. If you’re attracted to both parts anyway why does it matter what part they have

21

Anonymous #14 1w

What you're saying is that you understand that they are trans but you still don't see their soul? They obviously dissonate with those parts of their just as much if not more than you. Why not give them a chance? Why not see them truly and contemplate the decision to invest in them long term? Fear does not need to control us.

-7

Anonymous #14 1w

If you are only connecting physically are you really even connecting?

-8

Anonymous #14 1w

Like I can understand people being stuck in that kind of thinking, but it's not right to justify that kind of thinking in and of itself.

-6

Anonymous OP 1w

like the other reply said, sexual incompatibility is a 100% valid reason for a relationship not to work. You could fully love someone for their person but if you’re a sexual person and the relationship just isn’t fulfilling to you why put both people through not being happy in the relationship.

32

Anonymous #14 1w

if you truly understood them you would see that they might just be what you are looking for, but locked in a box that could even use some help opening.

-7

Anonymous #14 1w

Time is merely an illusion and it prevents us from truly seeing each other

-5

as a lesbian, I don’t want to have sex with someone who has a penis. I’m not really someone who’s incredibly passionate about sex in a relationship anyway so i could still happily be with a pre-op trans woman, but if I was some who really valued sexual intimacy i wouldn’t be happy in that relationship. There’s no reason to stay together if i’m not satisfied in the relationship. That just makes us both feel bad

24

Anonymous #14 1w

It's like we only care about the sex and not the chemistry

-7

Anonymous #14 1w

You don't need to have sex with someone with a penis! That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that it's possible to find satisfaction elsewhere in the meantime if there is a real connection.

-6

Anonymous OP 1w

I don’t think you’re listening to what i’m saying at all so i’m gonna be done here but I stand by the points I made. Also, there is absolutely nothing wrong with valuing sexual intimacy in a relationship. Trying to shame someone for enjoying sex with their partner is a very puritan way to think

28

Anonymous OP 1w

They are talking about people being pre-op. People are allowed to have genital preference. For me I don’t have genitalia preference and I don’t give a shit what anyone has but my gf is a lesbian and would be with a trans woman if we weren’t together but cannot handle a penis. She doesn’t like them and they freak her out. That’s valid. You can have genital preference

17

Anonymous #14 1w

I'm not trying to shame sex. I'm just saying it's not everything

-7

Anonymous #15 1w

Well of course. That was never a debate.

-7

Anonymous #15 1w

I'm saying that preferences don't have to determine the outcomes of relationships.

-7

Anonymous #15 1w

It's much deeper than all of this

-3

Yes yes I agreed with this in one of my other comments :) If you don’t have a genital/sexual preference with cis people it should be the exact same with trans people. We’re having a slightly different debate

9

SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK

13

absolutely!! it’s not my responsibility to make you feel comfortable with yourself. I’ve got myself to deal with! We should be supporting each other not doing it for them

19

Anonymous OP 1w

I think you’re looking at it at a more ace perspective. But saying that should be the case for everyone seems like shaming people’s sexuality

18

Anonymous #17 1w

No literally

5

Why is it that it’s transphobic for people to have a preference on if their partner is trans or not? I’m transsexual myself and if someone doesn’t want to date me because of that, I don’t think anything of it. To me it’s the same as a race or body type preference, like having a preference of race over another doesn’t make someone racist

0

Anonymous #8 1w

No for real. Even bi people don’t have to want to date trans people. Someone with mismatched genitalia IS not a norm and many people are not as used to it as our generation is. It’s not transphobic to not be comfortable with it. It’s how I see people having a race preference. Are people screaming racism because an opening minded person who claims to like all races doesn’t wanna date a certain race? Bi people can want to only date cis people and not be “non bi” or “transphobic” it’s ridiculous

12

Anonymous #18 1w

Thank you

0

Anonymous OP 1w

I'm transsexual too and l agree with 8. I honestly do not consider it transphobic and even bi people should be allowed to want to only date cis or even only date trans people I mean people can have preferences and the concept of trans people is so new to the public people need time to adjust to the idea. It's not fair to just label people as transphobic because they don't find pre-op trans people sexually attractive

-1

Anonymous OP 1w

a trans person is telling you “i think it’s okay if they don’t want to be with me bc im trans it’s a preference” and you’re telling them “you’re wrong” ??? shut up😭

10

Anonymous #20 1w

For real this thread is pathetic. It’s literally just a preference to not want to date a trans person, just like E V E R Y O N E has dating preferences. But bc people are too butthurt on here that they’re not preferred sexually by someone they’re all upset, like oh God forbid someone doesn’t want to date a trans person but supports them oh god they must be the worst human ever!

0

Anonymous #11 1w

i think you are utterly deranged and clueless. but that’s okay, because at least in america, freedom of thought and opinion are the standard. as long as you’re happy, go for it bud👍

-15

Anonymous #11 1w

I don’t have that preference. And okay so I asked earlier but what if someone wouldn’t want to date trans people, infertile cis people, etc because they want to have biological children with their partner in the future, and that is the only reason they wouldn’t date a trans person. So they go around saying they “wouldn’t date a trans person”. Is that still transphobic?

5

literally doesn’t make me transphobic????????? explain it’s literally just not what i like

3

Anonymous #10 1w

Beinf a trans man myself, I don’t think it’s transphobic when people don’t have a preference for trans people, we all have preferences and things we’d prefer to have when in relationships but it’s doesn’t mean that they think of us as any less or hate us Learn to love not hate, not everyone is attracted us trans folks and that’s ok, doesn’t mean they think of us as any less:)

1

Anonymous #23 1w

#10 I didn’t mean to respond to you, idk how it even replied to yours💀

5

Anonymous #18 1w

comparing race/body type to transness doesn’t make sense here when transness isnt a visible trait lmao

-1

Anonymous #23 1w

excluding trans people from one’s dating pool is almost always because they’re assuming certain traits abt trans people fyi

3

Anonymous #18 1w

can we not say that pre-op trans people have “mismatched genitalia” /gen

4

Anonymous #21 1w

oh my god shut up

-4

Anonymous #18 1w

i can support your rights and not want to pursue a romantic relationship with you at the same time they act like it’s impossible

0

Anonymous #20 1w

since it got remove immediately since the mods have been on a spree

11

Anonymous #20 1w

Being trans doesn't automatically make someone right. Lots of trans people have internalized transphobia. Transness does not make one an arbiter of truth about relational intent

11

Anonymous #11 1w

this is so important

4

Anonymous #20 1w

yeah im transgender and im never gonna get bottom surgery because i like that part of my body. theres a reason your votes are in the negatives on this one.

12

Anonymous #20 1w

you’re crying about someone else not agreeing with your opinion just bc you’re trans, then you immediately stomp your feet and act like a second grader about another trans person being uncomfortable with something. this is why no one is taking you seriously 💀

6

Anonymous #21 1w

Or maybe theres just certain things that click for them and what trans people have just isn’t it, which is totally ok! It doesn’t mean they hate us, we all have our preferences

4

Anonymous #20 1w

No seriously . I’m literally transsexual too. Yet it’s a bunch of cis people and fragile ego trans people downvoting people for having common sense in realizing it’s all a dating preference just as everything else is. Until someone says they also don’t support trans people or think they’re weird etc THEN that would be transphobic.

5

Anonymous #18 1w

it’s cute that you think insulting people will make others think your shitty opinion is correct ♥️

2

Anonymous #21 1w

Okay what about someone being a smoker or being infertile or smthn? That’s a non visible trait. When people start realizing that people who don’t wanna date trans people are not being transphobic

1

Anonymous #18 1w

ime when people don’t want to date a smoker/smth similar, it’s because they “don’t want to be around that.” so, yes, many people are going to question why some don’t want to be around trans people. if it’s for an actual reason like wanting to have children or genital preference, then say THAT for God’s sake. genuinely not that difficult to spit out your ACTUAL REASON.

7

Anonymous #26 1w

You're straying so far from the original point that you are arguing something almost completely irrelevant. Perhaps it's because you didn't see the original post or all of the context in its comments. There's plenty for you to catch yourself up with, so I would recommend doing that and reevaluating the conversation.

2

Anonymous OP 1w

*plenty under this post

1

You are correct. That is EXACTLY what I'm arguing. And there is scientific basis for this claim if you want to get that deep. We are so conditioned into individualism that we forget that our neighbors are right there. We were literally evolved to support each other. The human mind craves belonging, meaning, and coherence, which aren't possible to fully or easily achieve alone.

-1

Everyone has done heavy lifting and we will always do heavy lifting. If you act like your work here is already done, you will amount to near nothing. Life is perpetual not momentary. We are always growing and improving at varying paces and we literally cannot pick up the pace as a collective if we doing start doing what we can where we can instead of just the bare minimum

0

Have you ever heard the allegory of the long spoons?

-1

Anonymous OP 1w

being codependent isn’t cute unfortunately OP

9

Anonymous #16 1w

YAYYYYYY

4

Anonymous #14 1w

This is not about codependence. This is about being open to interconnectedness on a universal level. We are all cells contributing uniquely to the larger body of life

0

Anonymous #16 1w

crazy for a preference

-2

Anonymous #21 1w

i’m not trans are you dumb

-2

Anonymous #11 1w

what if they would also choose not to be with a cis person if they didn’t have functional genitals ? would you cry “ableist” ??

1

Anonymous OP 1w

It really didn’t stray too far I think you just don’t have an argument anymore imho

5

Anonymous OP 1w

Dating trans people IS a preference that people have when it comes to dating. Everyone in this thread saying bi people must be open to all trans people are policing who bi people can date and honestly that’s not okay. Bi people can like or not like whoever they want for whatever reason. If it hurts someone’s feelings that someone doesn’t wanna date them ONLY bc they’re trans, that’s their preference. Why not just move on and find a bi person who would date trans people not controlling ppls lives

5

Anonymous #21 1w

Yeah Cus I’m sick of this shit I hate being transsexual and group into this stupid thinking bc I don’t think it’s transphobic for people to not wanna date a trans person and I’m sick of all us trans ppl in this thread getting downvoted to hell over an opinion we should have a right to have isn’t it my fucking life are u trans?

1

Anonymous OP 1w

No i've seen the post and read it all. Everyone has preferences for dating there's always people who will and won't date trans people for whatever reason they have. I am black and I'm not forcing someone who's not attracted to black people to date me, that isn't fair for me or them. If your potential partner says they went to jail 20 times or that they have a bunch of kids, don't you have a choice to say yes or no? Or do we force everyone to say yes and not have preferences when dating?

6

Anonymous OP 1w

We all have biases and preferences when it comes to dating, even you do

5

Anonymous #11 1w

Then all the ones who have an opinion that differs from yours are <333

3

Anonymous #18 1w

I’m trans, dipshit, and I’m sick of your bullshit too ♥️

13

Anonymous #11 1w

People in general shouldn’t have to explain why they would or wouldn’t date someone , trans, infertile etc. why does someone have to include all people they aren’t attracted to when rejecting a trans person ?? At the end of the day, i was saying it shouldn’t matter the reason they don’t wanna date a trans person, just that it can be their preference. People don’t need to give a novel response to someone explaining their full preferences bc a trans person feel it’s “singling out” them

5

Anonymous #11 1w

Until the person is rejecting trans people bc they see them in a negative/discriminatory way, then that preference isn’t transphobic. It only bc harmful if that person is also hateful of the community. Just saying you personally wouldn’t date them (for WHATEVER REASON) should be allowed for bi people

1

Anonymous #20 1w

they asked if it was transphobic, but we aren't allowed to say "yes" based on the reasoning? what's even the point of the question if i can't say " yes, if someone being trans itself is the issue (not genitals/body traits, as that is highly variable, cis or trans) then yes, that is internalized transphobia. it's not an attack to give the person an honest answer. if they are genuinely curious and want to know if they have internalized transphobia. it's not an attack on their character

2

Anonymous #11 1w

Yeah but a neophallus can’t get anyone pregnant and a trans woman can’t get pregnant, so they may “work” but not how cis people’s does. Someone could not want to date both trans people or infertile cis people and it doesn’t matter how good of a bottom surgery a trans person got, they just won’t be preferred for that person

0

What if trans people just don’t sexually excite a bi person and that’s just something they can’t control? I mean are you telling me someone who isn’t sexually attracted to someone should still date that trans person so they don’t get labeled “transphobic” by the small minority who care to label it that? Is that fair to the trans person???? If being trans IS the only issue because they don’t find it as attractive sexually but DO support the community, calling that transphobia is ridiculous imho

0

Anonymous #18 1w

"common sense" is just code for assumed and unexamined opinions or views. actually engage in the arguments made by ppl, instead of calling them cis and proclaiming that your trans. that's not an argument

12

Anonymous #17 1w

For real, this whole thread is feeling like bi-erasure

0

Anonymous #16 1w

That’s exactly what I’ve been trying to say this whole time !

0

Anonymous #18 1w

it's allowed, but the poster asked if it's transphobia. op just asked if not wanting to any date trans people, regardless of their physical traits (which will be very variable), they asked if that's transphobia, we are answering his question, nobody is being forced to do shit, so that's the wildly wrong framing for this topic. and yes, if the transness itself makes you treat someone differently, that's transphobia. internalized transphobia exists, I don't know why you're averse to introspection

0

Anonymous #18 1w

well no that's not transphobic. because the reasoning is not transphobic.

6

Anonymous #9 1w

And then that’s how I feel about the whole thread. OOP said they just wouldn’t date trans people bc that’s their preference. Unless OOP is transphobic (which they said they support trans people), we really don’t know their full reason for not wanting to date trans people other than they have a reason, and it’s their preference jsut as the scenario i described above. And since OOP isn’t transphobic, they should be able to have that preference.

4

Anonymous #10 1w

Mature people know that ur preference isn’t transphobic, and it’s just that, a preference.

4

Anonymous #9 1w

I’m extending beyond this thread. I’ve in real time seen and engaged in conversation with cis people talk over trans people on what is and isn’t transphobia or harmful to our community. I’m POC and have seen it happen with white people too. And it is common sense because outside of this thread you’ll realize people generally understand this as a simple dating preference and don’t take it as deep as this thread is rn.

0

Anonymous #9 1w

Everyone has a “reason” for having preferences on who they would or wouldn’t date, whether they consciously know the reason or not. MY POINT is anyone who says they support trans ppl but wouldn’t date them (for wtv reason who cares why)=NOT transphobic. Anyone who doesn’t support trans ppl and wouldn’t date them = transphobic to some degree. And it does sound like OOP is being forced to include dating trans ppl to not be “transphobic” even tho they aren’t romantically into them

1

Anonymous #23 1w

Exactlyyy everyone has preferences with dating. I guarantee everyone on this thread has turned someone down from a romantic relationship because they didn't meet their preferences ! That's how dating works

5

Anonymous #23 1w

key word “certain things.”nobody gaf if you say “I don’t date trans people because-“. When you have an actual reason, nobody cares. even saying it’s for “personal reasons” or that you’re not sure is fine. but I’m judging tf out of people who refuse to say their BECAUSE.

8

Anonymous #20 1w

wrong person bro

8

Anonymous #18 1w

You keep saying "preferences" as if that's what the discussion has been about. It's not. It's about having no preference of genitalia and still having an aversion to trans people. This debate had a very very specific context that you are completely stripping away. Nobody is saying you can't have preferences or that having preferences makes you transphobic. That has already been made abundantly clear. You clearly didn't see the OG post but conversation is specifically about "cis only" BISEXUALS.

4

Anonymous #18 1w

If you like all parts (NO PREFERENCE OF GENITALIA) but you still won't date a trans person, that is transphobia. SPECIFICALLY if you are BISEXUAL with no genital preference, YET SPECIFICALLY won't date SPECIFICALLY trans people. There is no room for generalizations here motherfucker we are probably all trans. Be specific.

5

Anonymous #18 1w

Again this conversation was about BISEXUAL people who are attracted to all parts.

5

Anonymous OP 1w

maybe they want a cis male with male parts and a cis woman with female parts. i don’t think that’s difficult to understand

-1

Anonymous #20 1w

Yes it's easy to understand that they do not like trans people purely for being trans aka the entire fucking point

4

Anonymous OP 1w

what are you struggling with here ? they want to be with someone cis them being bi is irrelevant

1

Anonymous #20 1w

Being adverse towards people just because they are trans is called transphobia. Being bi is not just relevant, it is essential to this discussion because in this situation the person who doesn't want to be with trans people doesn't have sexual preference otherwise. Being/not being attracted to trans/cis people is not an orientation, it's a matter of acceptance/prejudice.

6

Anonymous #20 1w

Being bi is an essential detail because it rules out gendered attraction.

2

Anonymous OP 1w

if a cis man only wants to be with cis women is that transphobic ? wanting specific genitalia on a partner isn’t transphobic and being bi is irrelevant bc if they want to date a man they can also want to date a man that was born a male. you can be an ally without sleeping with them

2