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I want to be ok with the fact that my gf wants an open relationship, but like only really kissing other people. Like when I think of it right now I’m cool with it, but when she tells me it happens I feel betrayed. It’s not that big of a deal! Why brain???
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Anonymous 12w

yknow it’s like, okay to feel some type of way about that?

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Anonymous 12w

like #1 said it’s okay if an open relationship isn’t for you. i also know some people who don’t tell their partner when they’re doing things w other people out of preference. but if it’s eating u up it seems like maybe it’s not for you?

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Anonymous 12w

open relationships aren't for everyone and there's nothing wrong with that in open relationships the people in them shouldn't have the learn to like it, it really needs to be something you already enjoy if that makes sense bc otherwise people end up repressing jealousy or disrupting their own boundaries for the sake of making it work I'm sorry you're in a tough spot right now, really think about if this is a situation you can see yourself being truly happy in

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Anonymous 12w

I'm shocked that no one in this thread has said "communicate". You gotta talk to your GF and tell her what you're telling us. Be open, and vulnerable, and honest. Don't listen to strangers on the internet telling you it's time to break up, that's between you and her. But definitely have a real conversation and see how things are afterwards.

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Anonymous 12w

I think a little part of it, is that because of the fact that we’re long distance for most of the year, that I maybe get jealous that she’s giving more affection to others rather than me. We started dating towards the end of highschool and now go to different colleges. I’m a very lovey dovey person and she has her moments when she is but not really also. I think it might just be that I miss her. Haven’t seen her since the beginning of June so it sucks.

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 12w

Like I love her and I want her to be happy, and she says she doesn’t want to lose me, but she needs other experiences. I feel like she’s kinda dragging me along just because she doesn’t really have anyone else

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 12w

yeah that's not fair to you at all, unfortunately it sounds like you guys just aren't compatible it seems like regardless of if you're monogamous or open one of you will be unhappy

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 12w

😂😂😂😭😭😭😭 Over for u

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Anonymous replying to -> #5 12w

this. my partner and i have dipped our toes into ENM and have had many times we need to communicate feelings and boundaries. in our case it's that we're learning and also trying to undo learned stigma. but for others it's just something one partner isn't into. if you can't be open and honest about these feelings and boundaries, your open relationship isn't something that's gonna work out for you. it sounds like OP is only doing it to please the partner and unfortunately that's going to hurt them

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Anonymous replying to -> #7 12w

it doesn't necessarily mean the partner is going to cheat on OP. i would recommend thinking about why you opened your relationship and opening up communication with your partner. the one thing i can tell you for sure is that if you don't communicate this with your partner, it most likely will result in a feeling of resentment towards your partner. best of luck!

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