Anonymous #2 2d

I I’ve in buttfuck nowhere and the 3 other trans men that are here only want conventionally attractive white cis guys lmao. It’s a nightmare. Also! I just don’t want to be treated like a freak who HAS to date other trans people because I guess I don’t deserve to be loved and desired normally by others? I’m tired of t4t being treated like a cure all.

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Anonymous #2 2d

Im not opposed to dating other trans people. They still subject others to certain social standards. We don’t live in a vaccine where our experiences magically make us have empathy and attraction to each other. Hence my issue.

7

Anonymous OP 2d

Vacuum* sorry 😭

2

Anonymous #5 2d

I have no desire to be buff lol. I am comfortable with my twinky little body and I hate the idea of needing to be more hypermasculine a just so someone can want me when cis men aren’t ever required to do that to be desired lol.

1

Anonymous #5 2d

Also, like, people have EDs. I had an ED. I really don’t think it’s cool to give people body advice when they didn’t ask for it. People not wanting me because I’m trans has nothing to do with how I feel about my body lol. I like my body. It’s not why I’m alone.

1

Anonymous OP 1d

i would push back on the idea that cis men aren't ever required to do that to be desired. "go to the gym" is the #1 most common advice i see any time a man laments about not being able to find someone, arguably more even in gay spaces than straight ones

6

Anonymous OP 1d

not commenting on whether or not it's appropriate because i think it depends on context but that isn't something that's exclusive to trans guys

2

Anonymous #6 1d

Okay. I’m going to break this down as simple as possible because apparently you don’t know how Intersectionality works

-1

Anonymous #6 1d

A lot of cis men are not barred from romance simply because they are not held to an expectation to pass as cis. Cis men can be skinny, often are, and other people will still be attracted to them. A lot of their self-esteem issues do not come from the fact that society punishes them for not looking like a cis man lmao.

-1

Anonymous #6 1d

I am waiting for the day that we acknowledge that the way we police trans peoples bodies is not the same thing as like a gym bro having body dysmorphia because of social standards, he set up. Nor will it ever be.

0

Anonymous #6 1d

Regardless telling someone to change when they did not do any degree ask for that advice, perpetuates the idea that someone has to look a certain way in order to be more deserving of love and attraction and who does that help? Literally no one.

0

Anonymous #6 1d

I’m gonna break it down even further for you just in case you don’t get it any social dynamic that cis men are held to, trans men are often held to tenfold. If a cis man can be a Twink and people give him a place in the community where his body is appreciated then I should be able to without having to change that. The reality is not everybody wants a muscle man in the gay community. Pretending they do is literally a blanket statement that represents no one.

0

Anonymous #6 1d

It is irresponsible. It is harmful in so many ways to tell people that they should probably change their bodies in order to fit a certain standard when they may not even want to attract people who exists within the standard I don’t want to gym boy boyfriend. Lots of gay people don’t. Maybe you do you aren’t everyone else you don’t speak for anybody but yourself.

0

Anonymous #6 1d

I don’t have self-esteem issues, so the reason that I am not able to find someone is not being blamed on something that is uniquely unique about me as a human being. I live in the deep South IM very isolated from a queer community, and I am very visibly queer those are real reasons as to why I struggle to find somebody. my body has never been an issue.

0

Anonymous #6 1d

I am not lamenting about my body because it is not a problem and it has never been a problem. Insisting that it is literally perpetrate the issue. I’m sorry you hate yourself. I don’t hate myself! I know a lot of queer men guys are perfectly fine with their bodies! We don’t need to act like this is the standard everyone should be held to. Because that’s dumb and regressive.

-2

Anonymous #6 1d

It is genuinely mind-boggling that I have to explain to you that people expect trans men to pass in a hyper specific standard that they do not hold cis men to, simply because of systemic transphobia. It is mine boggling that I have to explain that to you. This is literally gender 101.

-1

Anonymous #6 1d

One more time, and I’m gonna leave it at this. You refused to acknowledge the fact that bringing unwarranted advice about changing your body to a community full of people, whos often suffer with eating disorders is innately harmful and you don’t even give a fuck. So, like, literally, who are you helping?

-3

Anonymous OP 1d

i'm literally not the person who left the first comment and you're so fucking aggressive for what

4

Anonymous OP 1d

i never said trans men aren't harmed by body expectations. acting like someone saying "lifting weights helped me find a partner" was a targeted transphobic statement is kind of wild when its literally the number one dating advice i have ever seen given to men. i'm sorry you struggle with ED and i see that you weren't asking for that kind of advice but someone speaking on their own experience/what helped them gave u generic advice in a non confrontational way. it was not an attack

1

Anonymous OP 1d

you're the one who brought up hating your body and gym dysmorphia, i was literally just saying that "lifting weights helps" is the most common advice men give each other and acting like theyre holding you to an unreasonable transphobic expectation is very odd to me

1

Anonymous OP 1d

also you're fucking weird for implying that trans men who lift weights or want to be buff "hate themselves" like that is also transphobic, nobody says that about cis men who lift weights

1

Anonymous OP 1d

it's mind boggling that you made the amount of assumptions and projections that you did without realizing, and assumed that i didn't understand that trans men are held to a different standard. trans men are held to a different standard but i don't think the comment you replied to was an example of that, and that was my point

8

Anonymous OP 1d

Ok, i never meant to be combative here, thats a pretty big assumption you’re making, i most certainly am not hypermasculine, neither is my partner, and i apologize that that didnt land well but jeez dude, coming on a little strong here

6