Anonymous #1 1d

See I don’t know about that because maybe you have a bias against male beauty. I hear you though I’m just saying.

-12

Anonymous OP 1d

lol i am bi and have dated men and women, i just know that sometimes bi girls have a preference for men and sometimes like ur saying they have a preference for women. whateva tho

20

Anonymous #1 1d

I’m not disagreeing with you. I just feel like I don’t have enough information to fully agree. I only added nuance to help the conversation along, not to disregard your experience. I’m sure there are bi women who prefer men, but I’m also sure that some women who prefer men only feel that way because men tend to put in more effort than women do. i’m not disregarding your experience. In fact, thank you for sharing it.

-7

Anonymous #2 1d

It’s a nuanced question, and I was actually giving people room to explain themselves. But calling it ‘weird’ shuts down that nuance before it can even happen

-6

Anonymous OP 1d

this is a weird question

26

Anonymous OP 1d

i think you just have bad experiences with women not putting in effort because men definitely don’t universally put in mote effort lmfaoo

21

Anonymous #2 1d

No, it’s not…. it’s honest. Can we not have an honest conversation?…. Add new words talk about it please. I’m not here to argue with you. I want to discuss do tell what you have against the question please.

-6

Anonymous OP 1d

this is a weird question

32

Anonymous OP 1d

also your “added nuance” wasn’t real, you just assumed something about me, which is disregarding my experience lol

16

Anonymous #1 1d

I think there’s a misunderstanding of the question. The point is this: if a woman puts in effort to compete for bi woman who’s already being pursued by a man putting in his own effort, her effort and affection if she chooses to give it carry more weight. What I’m not saying is that men universally put in more effort

-7

Anonymous OP 1d

source on it carrying more weight?

20

Anonymous OP 1d

you should probably reread what you’ve been saying. assuming i have a “bias against male beauty” by pointing out some people just have preferences. assuming that women aren’t putting in effort and if they did they’d easily outcompete men. and assuming women only prefer men because they put in more effort?? you’re making a lot of assumptions about something it seems you have no experience with.

18

Anonymous #2 1d

for real.

7

Anonymous #1 1d

I never assumed that you had a bias against male beauty I asked you to ask yourself whether or not you had a bias against male beauty

-4

Anonymous #1 1d

My added nuance is real. It’s true that men are socially conditioned to be more aggressive in courtship, and it’s equally true that women are socialized to be passive in it. So in the example I gave, if a woman took a more aggressive approach and went up against a man courting that same woman, she’s going to win out over him.

-4

Anonymous OP 1d

“because maybe you have a bias against male beauty” thats not asking them to ask themselves shit

18

Anonymous OP 1d

and your proof other than just “im saying it so its true”

11

Anonymous OP 1d

“My made up story is real” lol, lmao even

18

Anonymous OP 1d

believe it or not there are women with an aggressive approach and there are also people who are incredibly unsettled by the aggressive approach no matter who is using it. and dude, seriously if you can’t understand why “asking” someone if they have a bias against male beauty after they point out people have preferences is strange… you should probably just stop trying to have this conversation

9

Anonymous #2 1d

If I say, maybe you have a skin condition because I see bumps that relate to that skin condition… does that mean that you have that specific skin condition?

-5

Anonymous #2 1d

I’m not making an unfalsifiable point if you want to tell me that I’m wrong please tell me that I’m wrong but when I have questions about how you’re telling me that I’m wrong let me ask them

-4

Anonymous OP 1d

not but it implies you think they do

17

Anonymous #2 1d

No, it doesn’t. It implies that I think they should check it out cause they might.

-5

Anonymous OP 1d

yes it does. welcome to how english works

12

Anonymous OP 1d

Yes it does, you’re just wrong

12

Anonymous OP 1d

if three people are explaining to you that you’re wrong, you should probably stop defending your point if you also claim to be willing to be proven wrong

9

Anonymous #2 1d

I’m telling you what I meant by what I said. So if you’re still assuming I meant something else, even if you think I worded it incorrectly, that’s not your call to make after I’ve clarified. I meant for them to ask themselves. I did not mean to imply that I thought that about them. I’m clarifying my intent. It doesn’t matter how you took it. Can we continue the conversation now? Stop playing semantics with me.

-5

Anonymous #3 1d

I’m telling you what I meant by what I said. So if you’re still assuming I meant something else, even if you think I used the term incorrectly, that’s not your call to make after I’ve clarified. I meant for them to ask themselves. I did not imply that I thought that about them. I’m clarifying my intent. It doesn’t matter how you took it. Can we continue the conversation now?

-4

Anonymous #1 1d

I’m arguing with three people who refuse to understand what I’m trying to ask. I did not mean for you to think I was telling you that you have a bias against male beauty. I only meant for you to ask yourself that question. That was my intention, and I’m clarifying what I meant. So can we start from that point instead of you continuing to berate me over something I’m not even saying?

-5

Anonymous OP 1d

ok. this is a weird post. also, words are for other, not yourself. if you have to clarify what you said that much clearly you didn’t communicate effectively, or you communicated something else

14

Anonymous OP 1d

I understand what you’re trying to ask. its just stupid and weird

13

Anonymous OP 1d

have you read anything else we’ve said?

10

Anonymous #1 1d

Bitch, all you’ve been doing is arguing semantics about what I meant and then I tell you what I meant and then you tell me that that’s not how you took it… you’ve given no other fucking substance for me to respond to

-4

Anonymous OP 1d

what about some people not liking an aggressive approach? or that women also can have an aggressive approach? or that you’re making really broad generalizations about something you don’t seem to know about? but okay!

12

Anonymous OP 1d

you’re clearly just getting mad and have tunnel vision rn. take a break, get off yikyak bud.

10

Anonymous OP 1d

also i haven’t sworn at you or called you a name once during all this, and you keep referring to me as she in the other thread. i’m nonbinary and id prefer you didn’t call people who you assume are women bitches just because you disagree with them

11

Anonymous #1 1d

never said women don’t or can’t take an aggressive approach. My point isn’t a generalization about how women participate in courtship. The point is this: if a woman pursues someone that a man is also pursuing, and she puts in effort, that effort matters more than anything the man is offering. Aggressive approach in this particular discussion only means putting effort to get to know somebody…. That’s it.. I’ve clarified what I meant by that don’t tell me I meant something else.

-4

Anonymous OP 1d

You have no substance to respond to? You’re just being a dick about people finding your question weird and finding it weird that you’re writing fanfiction about people to explain why they disagreed with you.

11

Anonymous #1 1d

Eat a dick

-3

Anonymous OP 1d

go outside

12

Anonymous OP 1d

wow so kind and collected. truly someone worth conversing with

13

Anonymous #1 1d

I do apologize for calling you a bitch….. I don’t wanna play semantics though

-4

Anonymous #1 1d

I also do apologize for not using your pronouns correctly however, when I’m defending myself, I would like to be addressed by the argument that I’m actually making and not by shit that you think that I’m saying… if I need to clarify what I mean by what I say, please ask me what I mean by what I say instead of telling me what you think I mean by what I say

-4

Anonymous OP 1d

“I don’t want to play semantics” lol, lmao even

15

Anonymous OP 1d

you apologize yet just told me to eat a dick for pointing it out?? dude i seriously don’t care anymore. you’re an asshole.

10

Anonymous OP 1d

you have had your argument addressed. you just keep ignoring to harp on this

11

Anonymous OP 1d

The exchange in question

15

Anonymous #2 1d

I have not had my argument addressed…

1

Anonymous #3 1d

What does my second response to #1 say at the beginning… please quote it

4

Anonymous OP 1d

incorrect

8

Anonymous OP 1d

i have addressed it several times and now you’re just calling me names for no fucking reason

8

Anonymous #3 1d

Quit what I said in my second response to #1 please be begging you

-3

Anonymous #1 1d

Leave me alone

-3

Anonymous OP 1d

dont make weird posts and people wont engage with them

9

Anonymous #3 1d

You’re not even tracking the conversation so hush

-3

Anonymous OP 1d

i won’t actually! you called me a bitch and told to eat a dick for no reason other than i disagree with you and you refuse to engage with MY points until you were cursing at me and insulting me in the process.

9

Anonymous OP 1d

Better, heres your third

6

Anonymous #1 1d

I apologized for using the wrong pronouns for you and for calling you a bitch. Not because you pointed out that I misused your pronouns and called you a bitch …..I told you to eat a dick because you were telling me what to do with my time instead of engaging with what I was actually saying. I don’t apologize for that part. But I do apologize for the word bitch and for getting your pronouns wrong.

-2

Anonymous #2 1d

Did you check the response to what I said to that?… I said thank you for actually giving something of substance to the conversation… check your responses I gave you the response to that already.. I told you thank you

-2

Anonymous #1 1d

I called you names for a reason, though it wasn’t right of me to do so. My reasons: you were pestering me, misunderstanding me, not engaging with what I was actually saying, and using what you assumed I meant as an attack on me instead of getting to the actual crux of what I was trying to discuss. Was it right to call you names? No. Did you frustrate me? Yes.

-3

Anonymous OP 1d

sure dude. fuck you seriously.

11

Anonymous OP 1d

you didn’t apologize until i called you out for it. i really believe you’re sorry and not covering your tracks to look better

11

Anonymous #1 1d

You are the only one that’s addressed it… and I already told you thank you for actually sticking on topic

-3

Anonymous OP 1d

i don’t give a shit about your reasoning. you showed your colors.

11

Anonymous OP 1d

and i was the first to actually engage. so miss me with that bullshit

11

Anonymous #2 1d

Don’t assume that someone is saying shit that they’re not saying

-2

Anonymous #1 1d

I apologize for calling you a bitch… I don’t apologize for telling you to eat a dick because you were trying to tell me what to do at my time… I didn’t engage with your point. I said thank you for making the point that you made in contributing to the conversation, unlike anybody else in this comment section… I already told you that twice

-3

Anonymous #3 1d

What’s wrong with the point being made there?

-3

Anonymous OP 1d

yeah you thank me and then insult me when i had been trying to not to do so during the engagement. a thank you is meaningless if it’s followed by calling someone a bitch out of the blue

13

Anonymous #1 1d

You have my apology, accept it or not. And thanks for actually having the conversation I wanted. Most of the comment section is arguing semantics, you brought up a real point and I appreciate that, even if I haven’t fully addressed it since I’ve been dealing with everyone else. Still not sorry for telling you to eat a dick though.

-3

Anonymous OP 1d

your apology is meaningless and you are a miserable person. have a bad day

12

Anonymous #1 1d

The only purpose of this conversation is to talk about gender relations in dating… I am perfectly fine with you telling me that I’m wrong.. but if you’re going to tell me that I’m wrong in a point that I’m not trying to make then I can’t have a productive conversation. You are the only one that tried to have it, but I can’t address you specifically cause it’s difficult to respond everybody at the same time.

-3

Anonymous OP 1d

also just so everyone knows, they told me to eat a dick because i said they have tunnel vision and are obviously just raging. which i said because they called me a bitch. so, take that as you will yall!

8

Anonymous #1 23h

You were the first to engage… yes that is true… but you are also one of the first to misunderstand me after I asked you, whether or not there may be a male beauty as a relates to how you view the discussion and the experiences that you highlighted. It was a fair exchange. It did not evolve into that.

-3

Anonymous OP 23h

okay then just don’t respond at all or it’s just gonna be insulting me. it’s even easier than being an asshole believe it or not

10

Anonymous #1 23h

Take my apology or don’t …I already apologize for calling you a bitch… you made a good point about subjectivity in regards to worth and weight… I can’t respond to that now because I’m busy trying to clarify what I said to other people. You have my apology take it or leave it.. you have my thanks take it or leave it

-2

Anonymous #1 23h

OK

-2

Anonymous #1 23h

That is not why I told you to eat a dick. I told you eat a dick because you were trying to tell me what to do….. I called you a bitch because I was frustrated.. which I apologize to you for

-3

Anonymous OP 23h

as i said before both those are meaningless if followed by pointless insults. you should work on how you engage with people if you want to have these kinds of discussions.

12

Anonymous OP 23h

i told you to take a break because you had tunnel vision rage. reread the thread if you must.

11

Anonymous #1 23h

I’m not sure they CAN read…

10

Anonymous OP 23h

The exchange in question

13

Anonymous #1 23h

Which one is more of an asshole’s behavior… misunderstanding someone, and making an argument based on that misunderstanding, even after a clarification is made. Then calling that person stupid OR using the wrong pronouns of somebody on accident and then calling him a bitch out of frustration BECAUSE YOU FELT MISUNDERSTOOD… and then telling him to eat a dick because they’re telling you what to do?

-3

Anonymous OP 23h

calling someone stupid and calling people a bitch is more asshole behavior

10

Anonymous OP 23h

they/them btw. told you i was nonbinary. i also only made a couple comments about the misunderstanding and you lumped me in with everyone else responding and lashed out due to what seems to be poor emotional regulation. which is a pretty good reason to take a break

12

Anonymous #1 23h

It’s hard to keep your composure when multiple people are replying to you with arguments based on something you never said, just because they think you said it. They’re arguing against a position you never actually took.

-4

Anonymous OP 23h

then maybe you shouldn’t post on the internet if you cant handle criticism from multiple people

12

Anonymous OP 23h

most of my arguments have nothing to do with your male beauty bias bullshit. you just wouldn’t engage with the actual points i made to instead argue about semantics over and over again because you felt you had to correct a misunderstanding

10

Anonymous #1 23h

I’d rather clarify what I meant by what I said to other people who are hellbent on misunderstanding me

-3

Anonymous OP 23h

then maybe take a break. like i said. like you told me to eat a dick for saying.

7

Anonymous OP 23h

so you’d rather argue semantics than engage with the actual arguments that i made? so the exact thing you’re complaining about other people doing?

8

Anonymous #3 23h

You’re actually the one I should’ve called a bitch. You’re the one who completely misunderstood me, built an argument on that misunderstanding, and refused to actually engage with what I meant even after I clarified it. So yeah, you specifically are a bitch… and you can’t read

-2

Anonymous #3 23h

I’m entirely justified in telling somebody to go eat a dick if they’re telling me what to do at my time

-3

Anonymous OP 23h

you are really not helping your case here

4

Anonymous OP 23h

I’m also not a woman. Call me what you want but you’re still the one talking nonsense

4

Anonymous #2 23h

I’d argue building arguments on some shit that somebody didn’t say is the bigger asshole behavior… especially if you call them stupid after blatantly misunderstanding them

-3

Anonymous OP 23h

no you aren’t

9

Anonymous #2 23h

They don’t really have a case to help

6

Anonymous OP 23h

if you think insulting people because they’re correctly calling out that you’re lashing out due to frustration is valid you have bigger fish to fry

3

Anonymous OP 23h

you asked a question. you got an answer you didn’t like. you argue with it. is this all you do?

3

Anonymous #1 23h

The “him” was a typo….. I know you’re non-binary…. I apologize for lumping you in, but I feel completely justified in telling you to eat a dick if you tell me what to do with my time

-2

Anonymous #2 23h

None of your criticisms have actually addressed what I’m saying. They all come from you assuming I said something I didn’t. I don’t respect criticism that’s rooted in a misunderstanding of the thing it’s criticizing

-3

Anonymous OP 23h

you seriously shouldn’t man. i know nothing i say will change your demeanor unfortunately, but you really need to get a grasp on how to talk to people.

7

Anonymous #1 23h

I did engage with what you said. I said that you had a good point in the subjectivity of worth and weight… I would love to continue that conversation, but I can’t because people keep misunderstanding me

-2

Anonymous OP 23h

im talking about the original post and that question about which was more of an asshole. nice assumption though

8

Anonymous #1 23h

See in this particular case, I could tell you eat a dick….. but instead, I’ll say I will continue to correct people for when they misunderstand what I am saying….. because if they build arguments on what they think that I’m saying, I cannot have a productive conversation with them. So I am sorry if I lump you in…. But I will continue on my lunch break to reiterate, what the fuck I mean by what I say

-2

Anonymous OP 23h

if you wanted to have a constructive conversation you should’ve just ignored them then. it’s clear you wanted an argument

6

Anonymous OP 23h

you don’t need to have a productive conversation with everyone who misunderstands you

5

Anonymous #1 23h

I don’t like when people argue against things they only think I said. I’d rather debate someone where we both actually understand each other’s positions. To respond to your point about worth and weight: women are socialized to be passive in courtship. When they’re not passive in courtship, they’re directly working against that socialization, which makes it rarer. And rarer things carry more worth and weight than common things…. Look up what a unicorn is in swinger spaces

-1

Anonymous OP 23h

i’m not going to engage with you now dude. you have been rude to me and have proven you don’t actually want to understand my point, because if you did you would’ve ignored the other people and actually talked to me about it.

8

Anonymous #2 23h

You have misunderstood my argument from the beginning of this discussion… why would I take any of the shit that you say seriously if you won’t stop making arguments off shit that I’m not saying

-2

Anonymous #3 23h

You’ve misunderstood every point I’ve made and then argued against your own misunderstanding. The only person in this conversation who’s actually understood what I said is exactly one person. #2 and #3 have been arguing semantics this whole time.

-2

Anonymous #3 23h

Bitch doesn’t only refer to women

-1

Anonymous #2 23h

I almost certainly am

-2

Anonymous OP 23h

look up where the word bitch as an insult came from and its misogynistic history.

8

Anonymous #1 23h

I apologize to you for lashing out in frustration. I don’t apologize to anyone else discussing that lashing out, because they’ve just been arguing semantics, and I only said it to them recently, and I’m not taking that back. What I said to you, I do take back.

-2

Anonymous OP 23h

1) you’re just lying about the context of the “eat a dick message” 2) you wouldn’t be justified even if you weren’t lying, which brings me to 3) you keep writing fanfiction about this thread instead of reading it

8

Anonymous #3 23h

thank u for the screenshot. it’s seriously crazy to think that is a justified and reasonable response while also claiming they want to have a constructive conversation

10

Anonymous #2 23h

I intended to ask the person (#1) who gave that answer whether their response came from an aversion to male beauty. But because you thought I said something else entirely, you put intentions on me that I never had and formulated a dumbass argument off that. Now I’m stuck arguing semantics with you instead of you just taking a moment to understand the actual point, because the only person here who seems to get it is #1.

-2

Anonymous #3 23h

especially when i was saying that because they called me a bitch, which they have admitted several times was them lashing out in frustration

8

Anonymous #1 23h

Yeah I like to keep receipts for times like this

8

Anonymous #1 23h

I apologize for calling you a bitch, I apologize for using the wrong pronouns,… I don’t apologize to you for telling me to eat a dick… and if that bothers you, I don’t know what to tell you.. I appreciate the point that you brought up about worth and weight.. I responded to that and I await the response to that… but I don’t know what else you expect for me

-2

Anonymous OP 23h

i don’t agree with your argument still to be clear, i just was willing to discuss it until you started being an asshole to me.

11

Anonymous OP 23h

What the fuck is this comment?

5

Anonymous #2 23h

We can agree to disagree on which one’s more of an asshole because that would be subjective…. That’s the end of that semantic discussion.

-2

Anonymous OP 23h

My peep, you were the one telling 1 to eat a dick, and when the fuck has 1 said anything about worth and weight?

9

Anonymous OP 23h

why do you think that is okay though dude???? like seriously it’s crazy. you admitted you said it because you were frustrated, but when i pointed that out and said you should take a break(because no constructive conversation starts with anger) you still think you’re justified by lashing out more????

10

Anonymous OP 23h

why ask if you already had an answer for yourself?

9

Anonymous OP 23h

(It’s you, you’re more of the asshole) (I know you’ll call this petty but idgaf)

6

Anonymous #3 23h

I don’t apologize for telling them to eat a dick… they did bring up a point about worth and weight earlier in a discussion.. I told them that I appreciated them for that point… but because you can’t read, I won’t point that out to you

-2

Anonymous OP 23h

i didn’t btw

7

Anonymous OP 23h

worth and weight? we are human, not commodities to be traded

7

Anonymous #1 23h

I understand that …that’s definitely a flaw of mine, but I don’t like being misunderstood

-2

Anonymous OP 23h

my points were about your generalizations about women and aggressive pursuit, and about how a lot of people can be put off my aggressive pursuit. you didn’t engage with that ever

8

Anonymous OP 23h

then why are you still defending it like it was just and okay?

8

Anonymous OP 23h

Oh, we all understand you. No one agrees with you, is the thing. And you’re an asshole.

10

Anonymous OP 23h

then you need to communicate better and clearly. also not get upset when people tell you you didn’t communicate clearly

8

Anonymous #1 23h

I’ll engage with your point about worth and weight. Women are socialized to be passive in courtship, men are socialized to be active. So it’s rarer to see a woman go against that socialization, and rarer things carry more worth than common ones. That’s the logic I applied to how a woman might weigh attention coming from both genders. That’s my response to your point about the subjectivity of worth and weight.

-2

Anonymous OP 23h

i just told you i never said that

9

Anonymous #1 23h

I’m aware it can be and it start out as a misogynistic term… I’m also aware that it’s not always used on women…. or to mean women specifically.

-2

Anonymous OP 23h

and i’ve also told you i have no interest in engaging about this discussion anymore because of the way you’ve treated me

6

Anonymous #3 23h

Oh sorry, I did misunderstand the worth and weight thing in that comment. My B

5

Anonymous #3 23h

Still weird as hell btw

5

Anonymous #3 23h

They told me what to do with my time… I told them to eat a dick…… that’s justified.. There’s no fanfiction being written about the context.

-2

Anonymous OP 23h

thats not justified. you keep saying it, but its not

8

Anonymous OP 23h

it is used a hell of a lot more towards women still. especially by men when they disagree with what a woman is saying

7

Anonymous OP 23h

it is so weird and delusional that you think that’s justified

10

Anonymous OP 23h

No, it’s not justified. No, they didn’t tell you what to do with your time, they tried to end the conversation and help you gain some perspective. Yes, there is fanfiction being written; well, haterfiction I suppose, but the point standa

4

Anonymous OP 23h

i gave you a literal piece of advice because you weren’t handling yourself well and then you threw a rude insult in my face.

6

Anonymous #1 23h

Don’t tell me what to do with my time. I think it’s more disrespectful for you to tell me what to do than for me to tell you to eat a dick. The other things I say to you, those were disrespectful. But I don’t like people telling me what to do. It did not contribute to a constructive conversation because you’re telling me what to do with my time instead of engaging with the conversation.

-2

Anonymous OP 23h

the way its not at all more disrespectful to say “touch grass” than it is to say “eat a dick”

5

Anonymous #1 23h

I am not justified in calling you a bitch, which is why I apologize for it… I just disagree about whether or not I am justified for telling you to eat a dick in response to you telling me what to do with my time

-1

Anonymous OP 23h

you called me a bitch and that’s why i said that. if you’re lashing out like that you can’t have a constructive conversation.

6

Anonymous #3 23h

I think that there’s a level of cognitive dissonance here coming from you

-2

Anonymous OP 23h

the irony of you saying this…

8

Anonymous OP 23h

Aight so this proves that you’re functionally illiterate, which is a technical term that means that you can’t understand the meaning of text. Cool. Good to know.

8

Anonymous OP 23h

So… being able to predict when people are going to gaslight me, is cognitive dissonance. Cool. Good to know.

8

Anonymous #1 23h

I understand that, and I already thanked you for attempting to have the discussion with me. I do apologize for being rude to you. I don’t apologize for telling you to eat a dick though, because you were telling me what to do with my time, and I don’t respond well to that. I’d never do that to anyone else either….

-2

Anonymous #3 23h

How about read?

-2

Anonymous #3 23h

You can’t read

-2

Anonymous OP 23h

you can’t lash out at people because you get annoyed at being told what to do. you were being a dick to me so i told you to step away. that is reasonable especially if we’re trying to have a real conversation. your reaction was childish

8

Anonymous OP 23h

You can barely string a sentence together, and not a coherent one. Glass houses.

8

Anonymous #1 23h

I think it’s fine to respond that way when someone’s telling me what to do with my time. You’re telling me to be docile, to not get upset, while people are blatantly misunderstanding me and then telling me to back off. People get to build arguments off their own misunderstanding, but no one’s going to defend me, especially not you, and yet you’re telling me not to defend myself. That’s insulting to me

-2

Anonymous OP 23h

just because you think its fine, doesn’t mean it is. you’re just an asshole

6

Anonymous #3 23h

Making arguments based on your misunderstanding of what I said is being more of an asshole than whatever the fuck I said to #1

-2

Anonymous OP 23h

you can defend yourself without throwing around childish insults

6

Anonymous #2 23h

I was willing to have a discussion… the only person that brought up a counterpoint worth actually discussing is #1… for damn sure not you …you still haven’t

-2

Anonymous OP 23h

you’re taking disagreements on an anonymous app like they’re insults to your honor. get a grip

8

Anonymous OP 23h

ah yes, my comment i totally didn’t make

9

Anonymous #1 23h

You didn’t what?

-1

Anonymous #2 23h

Worth and weight are metaphors here. Metaphors aren’t automatically a means of commodifying people, that’s something you’re projecting onto what I’m saying. Which is, again, a blatant misunderstanding of my point, just like you’ve done in every other response on this post.

0

Anonymous #1 22h

I told you already, aggressive pursuit doesn’t mean cold approach. It means putting in real effort to get to know someone by being forward about your intentions as the initiator of courtship. That’s rarer in women than in men, which is exactly why it’s worth more when women do it. That’s the argument I’m making… and I did engage with that because I already told you this

-2

Anonymous #1 22h

Because it’s ok to feel insulted by someone telling you what to do and responding by telling them to not do that…” eat a dick” is my way of telling you to not tell me not to defend myself

-1

Anonymous OP 22h

after calling me a bitch and telling me to eat a dick…. like you’re mad we didn’t engage with you but you didn’t engage with my point until after throwing insults at me. why would i engage with someone who won’t have a conversation without insulting me?

8

Anonymous #3 22h

Give me something of substance and I will respond to it. up to this point all you have done is argue semantics

2

Anonymous OP 22h

also lol… the amount of women that have walked up to me and been like “hey you’re hot let’s talk” is way higher than the amount of men who have done so. so i’m not really sure you know what you’re talking about. the way queer women vs straight women engage with “courtship” is different

8

Anonymous #2 22h

Don’t build arguments off your own misunderstanding of what I said. I can clarify, and we can have a real discussion from there. But don’t dig into an argument based on what you assume I meant, especially after I’ve told you what I actually meant. Use what I actually meant as the basis for your argument, not your assumption

-1

Anonymous OP 22h

no it’s not at all😭😭😭 you didn’t clarify that’s what you were responding to until after you said it. to tell someone something you have to explain yourself, not insult them

7

Anonymous #1 22h

Even if you didn’t say that, I engaged with the other point that you made to clarify the misunderstanding that you had about what is being said…. In another response.

0

Anonymous #1 22h

Ok

0

Anonymous #3 22h

It’s not you still haven’t addressed it

-1

Anonymous OP 22h

you absolutely cannot think that anyone would engage with you earnestly after calling them names

8

Anonymous #3 22h

Making an argument that’s not based in semantics, please

0

Anonymous OP 22h

make a post thats not stupid and weird

3

Anonymous OP 22h

Allow me to introduce you to the comment that you said, that I responded to

4

Anonymous #2 22h

Don’t tell me not to defend myself. That’s disrespectful in itself, and it justifies me responding with the same. But what’s even more disrespectful is having to have this whole discussion about disrespect with people who won’t even engage with the actual point I raised, instead they want to talk about respect that was never extended to me in the first place.

-1

Anonymous OP 22h

How about read the next comment down, where I explain my “what the fuck”

1

Anonymous #1 22h

“Don’t tell me how to defend myself. That’s disrespectful in itself, and it justifies me responding with the same. But what’s even more disrespectful is having to have this whole discussion about disrespect with people who won’t even engage with the actual point I raised, instead they want to talk about respect that was never extended to me in the first place.

-2

Anonymous #3 22h

“Don’t tell me how to defend myself. That’s disrespectful in itself, and it justifies me responding with the same. But what’s even more disrespectful is having to have this whole discussion about disrespect with people who won’t even engage with the actual point I raised, instead they want to talk about respect that was never extended to me in the first place.

0

Anonymous #1 22h

“Don’t tell me how to defend myself. That’s disrespectful in itself, and it justifies me responding with the same. But what’s even more disrespectful is having to have this whole discussion about disrespect with people who won’t even engage with the actual point I raised, instead they want to talk about respect that was never extended to me in the first place.

-1

Anonymous OP 22h

im telling you how to not be an asshole to others. you should learn how to do that. the world doesn’t revolve around you

8

Anonymous OP 22h

defend yourself how you please. but if you choose to be childish, expect that in response.

10

Anonymous OP 22h

You are not in a position to complain about “disrespect,” Dr “eat a dick”

6

Anonymous #2 22h

I agreed to disagree

-1

Anonymous OP 22h

You also said “eat a dick”

2

Anonymous OP 22h

i don’t agree to disagree with you. this is how it is. You are in the wrong

3

Anonymous #1 22h

I’m capable of having a constructive conversation. But when you’re telling me not to defend myself, there’s nothing I can do with that. You’re basically just telling me to shut up, and that’s disrespectful.

-2

Anonymous #3 22h

And I do not apologize for that nor did I apologize for that

-2

Anonymous #2 22h

You know what’s funny about people with cognitive dissonance in regards to a specific situation ….they never think it applies to them

-2

Anonymous OP 22h

you do know you can defend yourself while not being an asshole right? like you are perfectly capable of doing that and if you arnt you shouldn’t be on here

7

Anonymous #3 22h

If you’re telling me to log off, you’re telling me to shut up and not defend… the meaning of the fucking text… but when you tell me that I’m functionally illiterate, that’s an insult

-2

Anonymous OP 22h

i’m not telling you not to defend yourself, very clearly stated there are just ways to defend yourself that aren’t childish insults.

6

Anonymous OP 22h

i know right!(look in the mirror)

8

Anonymous OP 22h

you can defend yourself without insulting others

5

Anonymous #1 22h

is take a break and get off Yik Yak not a directive?

-1

Anonymous OP 22h

its a suggestion which can easily be replied to without insulting the person who said it. here look, you could say “no, i don’t want to”

7

Anonymous OP 22h

never said it wasn’t. you’re just acting incredibly childish about a really normal reaction to being insulted. sorry people don’t want to engage in “constructive conversation” with someone whose go to is to call you a bitch

10

Anonymous OP 22h

Correct, I’m insulting you. I am of the opinion that, when someone is rude, rudeness in return is a proper response. 1 disagrees with me there, and that’s fine. They may even be correct in a more objective sense. I don’t really care about that. I see an asshole acting like an asshole, I call them an asshole, and when they can’t read, I tell them they can’t read. I would be more polite if you were, but well. That ship sailed a looooong time ago

10

Anonymous #3 22h

No one is gaslighting you about anything. I haven’t said anything that didn’t happen or wasn’t said. All I’ve done is clarify things I actually said. I’ve spent this entire time clarifying, and you won’t listen… the cognitive dissonance is you not being able to understand that

-2

Anonymous OP 22h

why are you clarifying what we all understand, but disagree with? like you can clarify all you want, but its still going to be disagreed with

9

Anonymous #1 22h

Don’t tell me to shut up …I’m gonna defend myself… I’m not gonna let people misunderstand me and make arguments of that misunderstanding …. If you want me to apologize for telling you to not tell me to shut up(in my own way). I’m not going to apologize….

-2

Anonymous OP 22h

where did they say to shut up? please screenshot it

3

Anonymous #3 22h

If you think none of the sentences that I’ve given to you are coherent that makes you illiterate…. Can you understand that sentence?

-2

Anonymous #3 22h

my willingness to engage with assholes earnestly is both a blessing and a curse. every once in a while it works out, but it usually turns into this lol.

6

Anonymous #2 22h

Don’t tell me to shut up while trying to defend myself and I won’t tell you to eat a dick

-1

Anonymous OP 22h

where did i say that. please screenshot it

3

Anonymous #1 22h

When people are calling me dumb and functionally illiterate, making arguments based on things I never said, the conversation had already gone childish anyway. So if you’re going to take it there, I’ll meet you there.

-2

Anonymous OP 22h

when have i ever told you to shut up. i told you to take a break, not to never speak ever again lol. when emotions are heightened it’s good to step back and then revisit with a clearer mind, even if it’s only like 10 minutes later. you just don’t want to accept that for some reason

8

Anonymous OP 22h

i didn’t say any of those things, but alright.

8

Anonymous #1 22h

I’m not treating disagreement like some insult to my honor. It’s just frustrating talking to people who misunderstand everything you say, because they assume intention, specifically negative intention, behind every word, especially if it goes against something they already believe about the world.

-2

Anonymous OP 22h

You told them to eat a dick before I (a different person) informed you of that fact. You were the one who escalated.

8

Anonymous #2 22h

I responded to that

-2

Anonymous OP 22h

when you call me a bitch and tell me to eat a dick i feel pretty safe assuming your intention towards me is negative

10

Anonymous #1 22h

I apologized for calling you a bitch… I don’t apologize for telling you to eat a dick…. People are calling me stupid… and functionally illiterate…. And Making arguments based on shit that I didn’t say….. and you told me not to defend myself…. Then I told you to eat a dick….. because I’m not going to let people run with their own misunderstandings about what I’m saying

-2

Anonymous #1 22h

This is not about cold approaches

-2

Anonymous OP 22h

i told you to take a break, why do you think that’s telling you not to defend yourself?

10

Anonymous OP 22h

i feel as though you’re seriously misunderstanding me and refusing to accept that. ironic, isn’t it?

8

Anonymous #1 22h

They told me to log off….. and let people misunderstand me… that’s insulting

-2

Anonymous #1 22h

I already apologized for calling them a bitch

-2

Anonymous #2 22h

Engage with the post and not fucking semantics

-1

Anonymous OP 22h

i told you to take a break, not that you should stop replying entirely. i’m not sure you know what a break is

8

Anonymous OP 22h

I have i said its a weird post

8

Anonymous OP 22h

but if you’re saying i told you to shut up im gonna to have to ask you where. im just defending myself you see

4

Anonymous #3 22h

You’ve already engaged in arguments rooted in semantics. I have no interest in your joke about the coherency of my sentences. So My ask is simple: talk about what I’m actually saying, not how you feel about the way I’m saying it.., that’s how that part went

-2

Anonymous OP 22h

also dude like general life advice, there will always be people who misunderstand you and sometimes digging the hole deeper only hurts that cause. i’ve found it better and more constructive to engage with those who are willing to understand you rather than focus on those who won’t. but that’s just me n

9

Anonymous #3 22h

I responded to that comment already

-2

Anonymous #2 22h

What we’re agreeing to disagree on is a subjective matter, I can’t be wrong about an opinion. I’m right to feel insulted when someone tells me not to defend myself. There’s is ‘a agree to disagree’ here, bc there’s no correct way to react in that moment. Either you defend yourself or you let someone tell you not to…. I believe my way was the right way subjectively

-2

Anonymous #1 22h

People started the childish shit with me… if you take the hell, I’ll take it there….

-2

Anonymous #3 22h

Misunderstanding people is disrespectful….. so when you do that to me, I will disrespect you then

-2

Anonymous #3 22h

Good job I did say eat a dick. I don’t apologize for that. I apologize for everything else said that specific person …not that ….that’s the disagreement here…. glad you caught up.

-1

Anonymous OP 22h

so because someone has treated you someway that means you get to treat everyone that way too? bad way to live.

2

Anonymous #2 22h

I don’t think defending yourself makes you an asshole when people were being assholes to you first. And telling me to back off is telling me not to defend myself, that’s disrespectful. Don’t tell me what to do. Don’t tell me not to defend myself. I won’t let people misunderstand me. Do you understand what I’m saying here?

-1

Anonymous #1 22h

Telling someone to leave a conversation in which they are trying to defend themselves, is telling them not to defend themselves

-2

Anonymous #1 22h

🪞

-2

Anonymous OP 22h

man you’re dense. bye

8

Anonymous #2 22h

I was insulted by them telling me to not defend myself

-1

Anonymous OP 22h

think you need to get the stick out your ass tbh, and thats the last thing imma be saying here

6

Anonymous OP 22h

It’s so bad that you can’t even tell which replies you’ve replied to already. Seriously. Cool off. Take a breather.

4

Anonymous #3 22h

You specifically were being rude, misunderstanding the original argument, building arguments off that misunderstanding, and then when I tried to clarify, you didn’t move the conversation back to the actual point. Then someone tells me to stop defending myself while I’m just trying to correct the misunderstanding about what I originally said. I experienced the rudeness first, so yes, rudeness is a fair response to that.

-1

Anonymous #2 22h

Well, then take it as a “no, I don’t want to”

-1

Anonymous OP 22h

You started the childishness. Cool off. Take a breather.

4

Anonymous OP 22h

Then why did you reply to the previous comment, when you already read the comment where I explained why you didn’t make any sense. Cool off. Take a breather.

5

Anonymous #2 22h

You’re disagreeing with things you assumed I meant, and getting caught up in semantics over word choice. Not once, not in any shape or form, did you actually make a point about the original discussion.

0

Anonymous #2 22h

“Get off yikyak”

1

Anonymous #1 22h

Isn’t this like the definition of pretentious?

0

Anonymous #2 22h

“Get off yikyak”

1

Anonymous #1 22h

I’m telling you .. don’t tell me not to defend myself… you telling me to get off Yik Yak is telling me to not defend myself. You’re telling me to shut up…….. I know that you don’t accept that logic for some reason…. I don’t know why … to simplify it I cannot continue to have a conversation defending myself if I were to have taken your advice… which means you are telling me to shut up

1

Anonymous #1 22h

OK, I never said you did

1

Anonymous #3 22h

The escalation was misunderstanding, my argument, and making arguments based off your misunderstanding….. you did not inform me of the fact that I told them to eat a dick. I had already talked to them about that…. Because that’s where I also learn that I had Misgendered them….. why are you lying?

1

Anonymous #1 22h

I already apologized for calling you a bitch. The escalation didn’t start with our interaction, it came from everyone else misunderstanding my argument, which was already rude, and assuming intentions I never had. I already told you that frustration is why I called you a bitch. But when you told me to get off Yik Yak, that reads as telling me to shut up, and I won’t do that. That’s disrespect, so I’ll answer it with disrespect

1

Anonymous #1 22h

I cannot defend myself …if you’re telling me to get off the app ….the practical function of getting off the app is shutting up… don’t tell me to do that

1

Anonymous #1 21h

Functionally, telling me to get off the app is telling me to shut up. That’s literally what not using the app means, especially while I’m in the middle of defending myself. You telling me to shut up doesn’t stop being what’s happening just because you won’t accept that’s what you were doing.

1

Anonymous #1 21h

Funny enough, I’ve given more weight to my own accountability for how I spoke to you than you’ve given to yours for how you spoke to me. If you could just acknowledge that you shouldn’t have told me to get off the app while I was defending myself, I wouldn’t have told you to eat a dick.

1

Anonymous #1 21h

Telling someone to take a break while talking is functionally telling them to shut up

0

Anonymous #1 21h

Well, I appreciate that advice… but I will continue to try to alleviate the misunderstanding….

0

Anonymous #1 21h

I already apologized for lashing out at you in frustration, which led to me calling you a bitch. I also apologized for misgendering you. So I’ve already acknowledged that I was wrong to let how other people treated me bleed into how I spoke to you. But telling me to get off the app is telling me to shut up, that’s disrespectful, and I responded to that with disrespect. That wasn’t about anyone else in that moment, it was about what you had just said.

1

Anonymous #3 21h

And so just so I’m being consistent here… eat a dick

1

Anonymous #1 21h

I never known someone who has shown and demonstrated the capacity to apologize as someone that could be called dense in that same discussion that they have demonstrated the capacity to apologize

0

Anonymous #2 21h

So you don’t understand me great

0

Anonymous #3 21h

I explained why I did make sense if this is in regards to why I told that person to eat a dick… if you wanna talk about something else we can… because I make perfect sense here… and again if you’re gonna tell me cool off and take a breather, I’m going to tell you to eat a dick

1

Anonymous #4 21h

Why is there a poll on it?

-3

Anonymous OP 21h

Fair enough, you are providing a way for people to share their opinion, but when people share their opinion through the comments you are simply trying to attack them for a tiny detail rather than addressing the overall point, as you just did here. All I’m trying to say is I think your point could carry a lot more weight if you would explain it more in depth. Personally I’m very intrigued by what you have to say, that’s why I’m encouraging you to share more!

5

Anonymous #4 21h

I can’t explain it in depth if people are willfully misunderstanding the premise, but thank you for inquiring about my position on this. I will give it to you in the next response to you that I make

-3

Anonymous OP 21h

I fully agree with that. The most frustrating thing about yikyak is so many people are WAY more focused on calling others idiots rather than allowing them to have opinions that might challenge commonly held beliefs. I understand those who don’t get what you mean - I don’t mean to be insulting but my first impression of the post was that it seemed misandristic. I think it’s very unfair to you however to take that first impression and start belittling you for what is most likely a misunderstanding

3

Anonymous #4 21h

“Misunderstanding” was a long time ago, if it ever happened. OP called 1 a “bitch” as well (they apologized for it, but have not apologized for this comment and have doubled down (also the first apology was a shitty half-apology, it wasn’t for another hour that they really apologized))

2

Anonymous OP 20h

18 comments when no one was even talking to you anymore… man that’s crazy

5

Anonymous #4 20h

OP was the one willfully ignoring and misintreprwtinf what i said calling me names while they were actually mad at other people. don’t sympathize with this guy who thinks being told to take a break after calling me a bitch is “eat a dick” worthy and refuses to listen about how that is childish

10