Anonymous dogdaze 11w

I’m small in stature, I wear jewelry/chains, I wear earrings, and my top surgery scars are visible in most of my summer clothes and I’m pretty sure the bach party will be at a cabin somewhere. If she can’t even tell their friends I’m queer, should i really feel safe going? I would definitely be willing to fake sick and not go to his party if that would make him more comfortable but it’s shitty that i even have to do that. What should I do? I don’t want to hide who I am.

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Anonymous dogdaze 11w

I still want to be there for my friends, but not if I have to choose that over my own safety.

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Anonymous #1 11w

As things are the grooms party might already treat you a little odd if the groom didn’t want you in his wedding party because that means he bumped down someone else and his entire side of the wedding might hear about the drama and think poorly of you because it might come across as you being a pushy friend who wanted to be in the party. (Which I don’t think is true just giving an example of how others might see it)

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Anonymous #1 11w

I would try talking to your friend and tell her where you’re at and how you’re feeling try to focus on how you’re feeling and don’t use language that can come across as judgmental

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Anonymous #1 11w

Like I feel a little confused about my place in the wedding and a little anxious about having to hide a pretty noticeable and important part of myself. This day means a lot to you and that means it means a lot to me too and I just want to make sure i understand my position

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Anonymous #1 11w

It does suck she didn’t fight for you tho and she didn’t let you go to her bachelorette party that’s was really shitty of her in my opinion and you have every right to be more than a little hurt by it.

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Anonymous #1 11w

Honestly, I have zero problems standing up on his side in the wedding. It’s more affirming for me that way anyway. The biggest issue is the bach party and feeling like an outsider. I get along with most people, and certainly being gay isn’t my whole personality, but I am very headstrong and individualistic and I will not be toning myself down for the comfort of other people. The more i think about it, the more I feel like me being at the bach party would just be a burden for the groom anyway.

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Anonymous dogdaze 11w

I feel shitty about her not wanting to include me in her party either. She knows I would be so much more comfortable with her and realistically, all of the bridesmaids are our mutual friends so is anyone really going to know or care if I go out with them anyway?

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Anonymous dogdaze 11w

Yea i think the being on the grooms side is a good compromise but the Bach party was kinda a shitty move so is the closeting of you because even if it’s not your personality you’re gonna be actively thinking about it a conscious about it. And the thing with the Bach party is it’s the least formal thing people normally just party and get wasted and do comb shit and have fun. Lots of couples do joint parties nowadays so like you not being allowed to come is odd if you ask me.

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Anonymous #1 11w

Dumb*^ shit and literally the only person who would really care what party you go to is probably the bride so at that point i would be thinking why is the bride acting up like this and how meaningful is our friendship

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Anonymous dogdaze 11w

They’re not going to care literally the only person who’s going to care is going to be you and the bride you because you’re being purposefully excluded and her because she’s excluding you for whatever reason

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Anonymous #1 11w

thank u for ur thoughts, i appreciate u 🫶🏻

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Anonymous dogdaze 11w

And i appreciate you boo

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