Anonymous #1 1d

You can feel however you want

-8

Anonymous #1 1d

i think your privilege more comes from being a man. i’m an afab nonbinary bisexual so most people see me as “confused straight woman-lite” and my identity is constantly invalidated. it’s fucking exhausting

-1

Anonymous #3 1d

The difference is that I would have to actively violate my own sexual boundaries in ways I know I’m not capable of to please them

22

Anonymous #2 1d

Maybe I should of rephrase my self because I do see your point people who don’t identify as cis are more fucked

29

Anonymous #3 1d

No literally. Like most of us don’t have parents who go to pride with us and most of us have parents who don’t respect our sexuality

22

Anonymous #6 1d

Like im sorry but as a lesbian i dont have the option to appear straight for safety. Its fucked up but its just how it is.

12

Anonymous #6 17h

Literally everyone has the privilege of opting for straight relationships lol nobody is holding a gun to your head forcing you to date specific people, that is indeed a choice even if your sexuality is not

-4

Anonymous #5 17h

It's not a privilege, everyone can be in a straight relationship

-3

Anonymous #5 17h

And even if you wanna argue people "can't" it is more of a privilege to be safe in your sexuality than it is to be unsafe in your sexuality and it really is that simple

-3

Anonymous OP 17h

No. No we cant. Did you just tell me, a lesbian, i can he in a straight relationship? Youre literally just wrong. Same sex exclusive attracted people do not have the option to be in a straight presenting relationship without sacrificing their integrity so get over yourself. I got hit with a rock while holding hands with my girlfriend in the South. Do you get hit with rocks while in a relationship with men?

10

Anonymous OP 17h

You’re so mad that bi women in straight relationships aren’t oppressed on the base on their sexuality youre telling lesbians to be straight. Homophobic ass.

11

Anonymous OP 17h

Okay so let’s rephrase it is a privilege to be able to pick to be in a heterosexual relationship and to be happy in that relationship. A lesbian won’t be happy or fulfilled in a straight relationship like a bisexual person can be and that’s the privilege

11

Anonymous OP 17h

Your saying this like being homosexual is a choice and that people who are gay can just opt out oh wait that’s what your saying and though I don’t like how some gays and lesbians treat us as bisexuals to act like we don’t have more privilege than them is utterly asinine

17

Anonymous #1 17h

*but to act like

13

Anonymous #1 17h

And fuck not everyone has supporting parents especially some of us who are from the red states don’t have that privilege and tho I’m glad my parents don’t care I’m bi I really believe it is because they’ll like “well as long as he still likes women meh” which I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s why some conservative families tolerate their bi children

14

Anonymous #1 17h

Plus having more privilege than a group doesn’t denigrate the oppression you face. Bi people absolutely are and can be oppressed based on their sexuality but straight relationships being a fulfilling option is a privilege and always will be.

5

Anonymous #1 17h

Where did I say everyone

-5

Anonymous #1 17h

No not saying being gay is a choice, I saying who you date is a choice

-5

Anonymous OP 17h

“Literally everyone has the privilege for opting for a straight relationship”

10

Anonymous #4 17h

Bold assumption to say you can't be happy or fulfilled in a relationship just because it's not your ideal person, people do it every day

-5

Anonymous OP 17h

op that’s like the woke version of “being gay isn’t a sin, but acting on those attractions is”

8

Anonymous OP 17h

…I know I wouldn’t be happy or fulfilled bc I’m a lesbian

12

Anonymous OP 17h

This is crazy how youre circling back to being gay is a choice in attempt to prove your shitty point. Imagine if i put you in a relationship without sacrificing their a creepy guy you hate and you feel no attraction to. Thats not a choice for you is it? Because you aren’t attracted to him.

8

Anonymous #5 17h

I'm not telling anybody to be straight, I'm saying everybody chooses their partner. When you're genuinely unsafe in your sexuality you'll be single or secretive before you're just openly in a gay relationship. It is a privilege to be safe enough to be openly queer. That is the point being made in this post

-3

Anonymous OP 17h

Did you just say lesbians can be fulfilled by men?

11

Anonymous OP 17h

It’s a privilege to be able to pick safety.

6

Anonymous #5 17h

Yes. People marry their friends all the time. People marry people they're not attracted to all the time. Not everyone is in some crisis about their sexuality where they'd rather be dead than in a relationship that's not ideal. Anyways we're getting away from the point, the point of the post is that being safe in your sexuality is a privilege

-2

Anonymous OP 17h

Tbh if you bi then God you make us look stupid maybe more than the anti woke lgb community bisexuals who are just self hating punching bags

12

Anonymous OP 17h

We don’t get the privilege to be fulfilled by a “safe relationship”. If I sacrificed who i am and dated a man, i would be sacrificing my identity and who i am. You get the privilege of choosing to be straight presenting and not sacrificing who you are.

7

Anonymous #5 17h

EXACTLY THIS!

1

Anonymous #5 17h

"Privilege of being fulfilled" is such bullshit lmao a lot of people are unfulfilled in relationships that has nothing to do with sexuality

-3

Anonymous OP 17h

dude that’s so irrelevant. are you in a relationship with someone you’re not attracted to? bc it’s giving “if i can’t be happy no one can”

8

Anonymous #1 17h

I'm not self hating. My only point is being safe in your sexuality is more safe than being unsafe in your sexuality. A western lesbian is more privileged than a Nigerian bisexual. Everybody is so white

-1

Anonymous #4 17h

Anyone can pick safety.

-3

Anonymous OP 17h

Its not bullshit. Its just how sexuality works. Feeling fulfilled is a large part of identifying our sexuality. Ill be a lesbian till the day i die and never have the privilege of appearing straight presenting.

7

Anonymous OP 17h

I can pick safety at the cost of my identity

4

Anonymous #2 16h

People are in relationships wi the people they're not attracted to everyday. This is not a point of privilege.

-2

Anonymous OP 16h

Lets make this easy: You in straight presenting relationship: YOU SAFE AND PRIVILEGED You in gay presenting relationship: YOU NOT SAFE AND YOU ARE IN DANGER. Does that make it easy?

7

Anonymous #5 16h

You're literally missing the point of the post. It's about people who are safe in their sexuality vs people who are not. Not everyone who is a lesbian is unsafe just because they're a lesbian. People live in different places and come from different families. My cousins dad shot and killed him because he dated a trans woman. Has your dad ever tried to kill you for dating a woman?

-2

Anonymous OP 16h

My dad didn’t but another family member did. I think you are ignoring a lot of the lived experiences of lesbians to try to make this point

2

Anonymous #4 16h

No, I'm not ignoring it because this post isn't about all lesbians it is explicitly about lesbians who are supported and safe claiming to be worse off than other queer people who are actually in danger. If you are actually in danger because of your sexuality, then this post isn't about you.

-2

Anonymous #4 16h

Yes, you can. People do it everyday in many contexts

-2

Anonymous OP 16h

This post will be used by others to try to silence lesbians

11

Anonymous OP 16h

My dad is dead and my only remaining family members are my 80 year old grandparents. Im a lesbian dating a trans woman. I live in LOUISIANA. Do you think im more privileged than you? No. You will never be able to understand not having the CHOICE to feel safe in a relationship and thats okay. You have the choice. I don’t.

7

Anonymous OP 16h

Tell me how a lesbian can happily be in a straight relationship without sacrificing her identity.

7

Anonymous #5 16h

Why are you acting like marrying a friend that you love and who would be a good partner to you would kill you just because that friend is a man? And why do you also act like "sacrificing your identity" is a huge dramatic thing for everyone? Not everyone holds their sexuality at the core of their being, a lot of people have other priorities in life

-2

Anonymous #5 16h

You have a reading comprehension problem

2

Anonymous OP 16h

that’s hella ironic coming from you

8

Anonymous OP 16h

Are you advocating for lavender relationships? And you said the quiet part out loud good job lol. My sexuality as a lesbian may be tertiary to you but it is who i am and i am proud to be a lesbian. Maybe you should learn to be proud of your own sexuality.

9

Anonymous OP 16h

So if i start erasing your identity you wouldn’t be mad right? Because you’re saying sacrificing ones identity isn’t that big of a deal.

8

Anonymous OP 16h

Okay so let’s try this again. A LESBIAN is someone who’s NOT ATTRACTED TO MEN. Someone who’s NOT ATTRACTED TO SOMEONE won’t ENJOY HAVING THEM AS A PARTNER. Does that make sense friend? Can you repeat that back to me?

10

Anonymous #6 16h

I think they truly think lesbians are bi women who choose to only date women thats what im genuinely getting from this person.

6

Anonymous #6 16h

So are you implying every lesbian is so superficial that they can't find any joy whatsoever in companionship if you aren't physically attracted to their partner?

-2

Anonymous #5 16h

I've got more going for myself than being queer and you're a stranger on the internet who has no idea what my sexual and dating experience is, why would I care at all whatsoever about you "erasing my identity" lol it can't be erased if it's legitimate

-1

Anonymous OP 16h

No. Being sexually and romantically attracted to your life partner is integral to MOST people. What you’re referring to is A FRIENDSHIP

8

Anonymous OP 16h

Companionship. Is not the same as a romantic relationship. A lesbian is not attracted to men and will find no happiness in a ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP WITH A MAN because she is not ROMANTICALLY ATTRACTED TO HIM.

7

Anonymous #5 16h

I have genuine accomplishments to be proud of. I'm not ashamed of my sexuality but it's just a neutral "is what it is" thing lol do you know anyone who's proud to be straight? Why is something you were born with and had no influence over a thing to take pride in?

-2

Anonymous OP 16h

No one is proud to be straight because no one has ever been told that being straight is something to be ashamed of you dumb fuck

13

Anonymous #5 16h

I'm not advocating for anything, I'm saying you don't have a gun to your head assigning a life partner and when you choose a partner based on what you value most. If you value being a lesbian more than anything else you'd probably choose a woman who treats you like shit over a man who's great in every aspect except that he's a man. I personally just value a person and what they have to contribute to my life more than I value taking claim to a word

-2

Anonymous #5 16h

What I'm referring to is a partnership and if physical attraction is so integral to you you're gonna have a tough time when your wife gets old or out of shape or sickly or whatever else

-1

Anonymous OP 16h

i genuinely hope you’re a troll. this is ridiculous

7

Anonymous #6 16h

Okay so by that logic, any queer person from an accepting family who lives in an accepting place and has never been told being queer is something to ashamed of should be proud to be queer

-1

Anonymous OP 16h

No, I won’t, actually, because being physically AND ROMANTICALLY attracted to a woman is not dependent on those factors for a lesbian. I would never be romantically attracted to a sickly or old man because I am NOT ATTRACTED TO MEN.

12

Anonymous OP 16h

You gotta be a straight

11

Anonymous OP 16h

No queer person is this anti-lgbtq

13

Anonymous #5 16h

I'm not anti lgbtq, all the post is saying is being safe in your sexuality does not make you less privileged than being unsafe in your sexuality

-2

Anonymous OP 16h

Yes, they should, because they still live in a world and social structure that punishes homosexuality. We are not islands. I think you may genuinely be stupid if you’re not a troll.

2

Anonymous OP 16h

You’re definitely a straight troll

5

Anonymous #6 16h

You live in America. And this post is about people who are not punished for their sexuality and who are supported and safe in their sexuality. As I have said about 87 times at this point including in the post

-2

Anonymous OP 16h

Okay straightie

10

Anonymous #6 16h

"Straightie" okay goofball

-1

Anonymous OP 16h

Hetero mad 🫵

6

Anonymous OP 16h

This is why lesbians dont wanna date you btw

6

Anonymous #5 16h

They’re def a guy mad that a lesbian said no 😭

10

Anonymous #6 16h

I'm not a man and I've literally never encountered a lesbian that I was interested in who wasn't interested in me unless 1.) they strictly like masc women or 2.) we are friends lol

-3

Anonymous #5 16h

This is made up lol

-2

Anonymous #6 16h

Corny cornball mad

-2

Anonymous OP 16h

Nah but you are though

6

Anonymous OP 16h

Why do you place so much importance on your gender identity that you rule out being a man?

8

Anonymous OP 16h

Lesbians dont want you btw

11

Anonymous OP 15h

Tell one of your “lesbian friends” that you think they could be happy in a straight relationship: see what they say lol

6

Anonymous OP 15h

This has to be ragebait

5

Anonymous #5 15h

I think anyone could be happy in a relationship where they're loved and treated well and I think any normal person would agree with that

-2

Anonymous #6 15h

What?

-2

Anonymous OP 15h

No lol. Im so glad that works for you but it doesn’t work for people who are monosexual. Tell your lesbians friends: i dare you. They would beat your ass 😂

6

Anonymous #5 15h

Tell my lesbian friends that they could be happy in a relationship with someone who loves them and treats them well?

-2

Anonymous #5 15h

Also nobody would beat my ass lol

-2

Anonymous #5 15h

Also I thought people were treating monosexual as a slur lol what's going on

-2

Anonymous OP 15h

With a man. Funny how you disregard that little factoid. You hate lesbians just admit it, pretending you don’t doesn’t work.

3

Anonymous OP 15h

SOME bi women try to not force men upon lesbians challenge: level impossible

6

Anonymous #5 15h

They’re a man

9

Anonymous OP 15h

I’m asking you why you place so much importance on your gender that you rule out the possibility of being a man.

11

Anonymous #5 15h

Literally like god forbid we don’t want the additional trauma that comes with forcing yourself to violate your own sexual boundaries, I dont think OP has the ability to understand since they are attracted to people regardless of gender but if you talk to any purple heart lesbian those experiences were traumatic even tho they were *technically* consensual, its just fundamentally a different experience than being with someone you’re simply not that attracted to

8

Anonymous #5 15h

I think with anyone you can be happy with someone who loves you and treats you well. Are you not happy with your friends and family?

-2

Anonymous #5 15h

I'm not forcing anyone to do anything the whole point I made was you have full autonomy to choose who you date. You can't read though

-2

Anonymous #6 15h

What are you even talking about

-2

Anonymous OP 15h

I’m asking you why you are so superficial that you’ve ruled out the possibility of being a man. Why do you insist that you’re not a man?

5

Anonymous OP 15h

Answer my question

7

Anonymous #6 15h

I haven't "insisted" anything

-1

Anonymous #3 15h

You literally don't have to.

-1

Anonymous #5 15h

You can do anything you set your mind to

-2

Anonymous OP 15h

You said you’re not a man. Are you a man or no?

9

Anonymous OP 15h

And if not, why not?

6

Anonymous OP 15h

Do you know what a lesbian is?

2

Anonymous #5 15h

Yes. Do you know what the word "can" means? Because at this point we're arguing semantics

3

Anonymous OP 15h

You can but for those of us that aren’t bisexual it comes with additional truama and consequences you’re refusing to acknowledge

6

Anonymous #6 15h

Do you want me to go on a gender is fake tangent right now? Like what point are you actually trying to make lol

2

Anonymous OP 15h

Are you SLOW? It’s a simple question. Are. You. A. Man. Or. Not.

10

Anonymous #3 15h

I'm not refusing to acknowledge it, I'm saying plainly that you choose who you date. That is just a factor that's taken into consideration when you choose to/not to date someone

-1

Anonymous OP 15h

Do you know what a lesbian is?

3

Anonymous #6 15h

Can you read? Clearly I've already answered this question and that's for some reason not the answer you're looking for so maybe ask the question that you wanna ask

1

Anonymous OP 15h

Okay, so then what’s the answer? Man or no?

6

Anonymous OP 15h

Being gay isn’t a fucking choice… if it is then you are either bi or pansexual or whatever but not gay or lesbian idk who needs to beat this across your head because either you are too closed minded to understand nuance of different experiences or your a ragebaiter which I hope your the latter

8

Anonymous #1 15h

Because if not this is just said

6

Anonymous #1 15h

*sad

3

Anonymous OP 15h

Ok then you didn’t read what I said at all because when did I say you can’t choose who you date?

2

Anonymous #1 15h

Again, you can't read. Sexuality is not a choice. You do 100% have full autonomy to choose who you date though unless you're in like an arranged marriage situation. You're making up things that I never said and intentionally missing the point

-2

Anonymous OP 15h

Do you know what a lesbian is? Im gonna keep asking.

5

Anonymous #5 15h

I've literally already answered saying yes, are you illiterate?

-3

Anonymous #3 15h

I said you can choose who you date. You're writing whole paragraphs about things I never said. If you're saying right now that you agree you can choose who you date, then why are you arguing with me

-1

Anonymous OP 15h

But you clearly are the illiterate one since you’re saying lesbians can be happy and fulfilled in a straight relationship. So, again. What is a lesbian?

4

Anonymous OP 15h

You have said multiple times that lesbians can be fulfilled in straight relationships. You don’t respect lesbians

3

Anonymous #4 15h

They’re a man

9

Anonymous OP 15h

Im disagreeing with your statement earlier where you implied its the same as being superficial/just not being attracted to your partner, its a lot deeper than that

6

Anonymous #5 15h

I'm saying anyone can be happy and fulfilled in a relationship where they are loved and treated well by a partner they love even if the sexual attraction is not there. A lesbian who's divorced from an abusive partner was not inherently happier than a lesbian who prioritized true partnership over a romcom romance. That's the only point I'm making lol not everybody is destined for doom and gloom just because they marry someone who's not the romantic love of their life

-3

Anonymous OP 15h

Whats a lesbian?

1

Anonymous #4 15h

I've said multiple times anyone can be fulfilled by a partner that treats them well and loves them and that they love. Sorry that you put the whole romance thing on an unearned pedestal, I just fundamentally disagree that every other type of love is invalid and you'll never be happy or fulfilled if you don't find some incredible romance. Being in love isn't what keeps couples together, being a good partner is what does

-2

Anonymous #3 15h

Okay? You disagree lol now what

-2

Anonymous #3 15h

They want to fuck a lesbian straight bc they’re a man

9

Anonymous #6 15h

If you think I'm a man say he, no need to bucket me as nonbinary lol apparently you know my gender, you can assume the relevant pronouns

-2

Anonymous #3 15h

Like that *is* traumatic in a way that you will never understand as someone attracted to both, and that is in fact a privilege,

11

Anonymous OP 15h

Just answer the lesbians questions damnit

1

Anonymous OP 15h

What is a lesbian?

1

Anonymous #6 15h

Wait their one of those “how’s about we fix her” freaks?

6

Anonymous OP 15h

Why do you care so much about what pronouns I use for you? That’s really superficial. Most people have other problems besides being obsessed with their gender.

7

Anonymous OP 15h

Hahahahaha you know why I put the romance thing on a pedestal bc I thought I was bi for the longest time and then I realized wait a second the reason I’m so miserable is bc I’m dating ppl who I’m not attracted to. Since I stopped trying to force myself into relationships with men, guess what I no longer think about offing myself all the time

7

Anonymous #6 15h

Agreed like can seals be bisexuals spirit animal like how Swedish sharks are for transgenders lmao

1

Anonymous #5 15h

Women exclusively attracted to women. The lesbians might kill me for excluding nonbinary people and trans men in that definition but let's keep it simple. So where in "women exclusively attracted to women" does that mean you have zero autonomy to choose a partner that doesn't align to your sexuality if you thought that was worth doing? Is every lesbian invalid a "straight" relationship because they prioritize their safety and not being ostracized over an identity invalid?

-2

Anonymous OP 15h

The point is getting offended over people not believing your gender is exactly the same as you telling lesbians and gay men we can be happily fulfilled in a straight relationship when it is antithetical to who were are. Asking people what their gender is and not respecting the boundaries they have is the same as not respecting sexualities.

7

Anonymous #4 15h

Good for you?

-2

Anonymous OP 15h

Ask a trans woman to be happily fulfilled presenting as a straight cis man. She won’t be happy. Its literally antithetical to her being.

7

Anonymous #4 15h

I personally am not so dramatic that I'd want to kill myself over choices that I'm voluntarily making but alright I guess

-3

Anonymous OP 15h

So maybe you should stop running your mouth bc lesbians won’t be satisfied with men.

6

Anonymous #6 15h

It was a joke friend

-2

Anonymous OP 15h

Lesbians have the autonomy to not suck your cock straightie

3

Anonymous OP 15h

Speaking for lesbians. Shocking. Name one lesbian right now who is in a straight relationship because she chose to. You can’t.

3

Anonymous #5 14h

I think it's just generally a very privileged point to think "sacrificing your identity" is the end of the world and the worse possible thing that could happen like people have real problems

-3

Anonymous OP 14h

Funny how your version of a joke is jokinf about lesbians suicide.

15

Anonymous OP 14h

A lesbian not wanting to suck your dick also isn’t a real problem. But straight men be wildin on here

4

Anonymous OP 14h

It can be the “end of the world” if that what defines you keeps you alive and functioning as a person

6

Anonymous OP 14h

Having sex with a man made me want to commit suicide the few times i did it. It is that serious. Being with a man made me want to jump off a cliff. It is THAT serious. If you’re actually a bi woman, i understand that doesn’t make sense to you bur STFU telling lesbians about OUR sexuality when you BARELY understand yours.

14

Anonymous #3 14h

You don't have to have kids if you don't want to and if you want to, I'm not understanding what wanting kids has to do with your sexuality. Do you just really really want to get pregnant via sperm donor and don't wanna "sacrifice" that experience? You're losing me on that point. And on sex, not wanting to have sex with your partner is a problem any couple could face. I think if even an ace person can have sex occasionally because they love their partner, it's not insane to think others could too

-3

Anonymous OP 14h

I have mental health problems that definitely made the situation worse. All I’m saying is that lesbians can’t be in happy, fulfilling relationships with men bc it leads to depression and causes a decline in mental health

5

Anonymous #5 14h

They’re not they’re a man

6

Anonymous OP 14h

Straight man.

4

Anonymous #3 14h

Why do you make the assertion that the only way it could be traumatic to have sex with someone you don't want to have sex with is only applicable if you're a lesbian having sex with a man and why do you assert that it is inherently traumatic for every lesbian when it really is just an inconvenience practically for a lot of lesbians who were in comphet relationships?

-3

Anonymous #6 14h

I don't even suck dick lmao everyone has the autonomy not to do that

-3

Anonymous #5 14h

What are you even talking about

-3

Anonymous OP 14h

No one said traumatic sex is exclusive to gay people who had straight sex. We’re saying that to lesbians IT IS TRAUMATIC.

7

Anonymous #5 14h

For you maybe it's that serious. But you're projecting your experience onto everyone else

-3

Anonymous OP 14h

Yeah you don’t suck dick because you’re a straight man. You know who else isn’t sucking dick? Lesbians. Specifically your dick.

1

Anonymous OP 14h

Im talking about how you said it isn’t the end of the world to sacrifice my identity. It is to lesbians. This is why lesbians dont want to date you. YOU are literally the problematic bisexual that gives literally every other bi person a bad wrap. Bi people are wonderful and you will never represent them.

6

Anonymous #5 14h

I also am not telling you about your sexuality lol I'm literally just saying there are millions of lesbians in the world who choose to date men because they value their safety more than laying claim to an identity. You are not less privileged because you're free enough to choose to date women

-4

Anonymous #5 14h

No literally like keep downplaying the trauma I’ve been describing its proving our point, (but on a serious note im sorry you went through that)

7

Anonymous #5 14h

They’re not bi they’re a straight man

5

Anonymous #1 14h

Like fuck though he was a cis gay man Frederick the great of Prussia wanted to end his life after he was forced to witness the beheading of his lover and hated having to pretend to be straight for his abusive father especially marrying a woman he did not love and eventually moved her out once he became king

5

Anonymous OP 14h

It is inherently traumatic, comphet is not a walk in the park, you think its easy for those women? Its not the same as a healthy relationship ill tell you that

7

Anonymous #3 14h

I'm not downplaying anything

-3

Anonymous #1 14h

Yeah they’re a straight man who wants a lesbian to suck their dick

1

Anonymous OP 14h

You are one of the most disrespectful people I have ever come across. You have downplayed multiple lesbians in these comments including myself. You need serious mental help

5

Anonymous #5 14h

Do you know every lesbian? You've asked every single one who's had sex with a man if it was traumatizing? You know it as a universal truth that an inherent feature of lesbianism is being traumatized by straight sex? Are all the lesbians who had a bf before understanding their sexuality and weren't traumatized but just not into it not considered lesbians?

-2

Anonymous #4 14h

That’s just average straight man behavior

3

Anonymous #1 14h

Making things up

-2

Anonymous OP 14h

They’re not gonna suck your dick lil bro give it up

1

Anonymous #5 14h

I'm not representing anyone but myself lol I'm normal and don't feel the need or act like I have the authority to speak on behalf of an entire demographic

-1

Anonymous #1 14h

"Can be" are key words

-2

Anonymous OP 14h

Straight man thinks they’re normal…fork found in kitchen

1

Anonymous OP 14h

“Straight man” are key words

1

Anonymous #5 14h

I can because I'm Algerian

-2

Anonymous #6 14h

Am I supposed to be triggered by being called a straight man lol

-1

Anonymous OP 14h

What you are is straight and a man

3

Anonymous OP 14h

“Triggered” user…straight man spotted 🫵

1

Anonymous #4 14h

I actually haven't downplayed a single one of you because I haven't said anything specific to you or about you. My sentiments are generally applicable. If you wanna take personal offense to something that might not even apply you you, especially when I've explicitly stated who it applies to, that's your own problem

-3

Anonymous OP 14h

you called comphet an “inconvenience” lets not lie to ourselves 💀

9

Anonymous #6 14h

Okay

-2

Anonymous OP 14h

You minimized lesbian suicide brought on by comphet. You are incredibly disrespectful and I would be embarrassed if I was you.

9

Anonymous #4 14h

Typical straight man behavior

3

Anonymous #4 14h

No i literally didn't

-2

Anonymous OP 14h

Straight man love avoiding accountability

3

Anonymous OP 14h

You did and here’s your proof

4

Anonymous #3 14h

I didn't call comphet an inconvenience I said having sex with a man isn't inherently traumatic to every lesbian and to some it's more of an inconvenience than anything else. Which is true. Not every former comphet lesbian goes into crisis at the thought of having had sex with her high school boyfriend. You're not even engaging with the conversation in good faith if you're gonna pretend that's not true

-1

Anonymous OP 14h

You aren’t even a lesbian, so who are you to say “some lesbians say its just an inconvenience”

6

Anonymous #4 14h

That's not minimizing you being suicidal lol it's pointing out that you were literally bi and could fully just choose not to have sex with men and that wouldn't even be imposing limitations on yourself. You don't have to choose to do things that you hate doing especially if you already had the hard part of figuring out you were queer sorted out

-2

Anonymous OP 14h

I thought I was bi, I was not bi. I thought I was bi bc of comphet. I knew I liked women but I had this idea that I could be happy in a straight relationships so I quite literally was trying to force myself to be straight for safety. It made me so miserable I was suicidal and that’s what you don’t get

6

Anonymous #3 14h

Yeah so you see how it literally does not say comphet is an inconvenience and how my response to you claiming I said that is almost word for word what I said in the comment?

-3

Anonymous OP 14h

“When it really is an inconvenience”. You literally said that. Are you illiterate?

3

Anonymous #3 14h

Don't make it my problem that you can't read

-2

Anonymous #4 14h

Point being even if you thought you were bi you could exclusively have sex with women as a bi person. In any case, not everyone who is in comphet relationships is suicidal some people just figure it out and go on with their lives accordingly, that's not intrinsic to comphet relationships. A lot of people relate to your experience obviously but that's not THE experience, everybody has their own path to things

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Anonymous #4 14h

They don’t want to understand they just want a lesbian to suck their dick

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Anonymous OP 14h

Don’t make it lesbian’s problem no one is sucking your dick

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Anonymous OP 14h

I’m not saying mine is the only experience. I’m saying you have to respect lesbians and what we have gone through and not call our mental health struggles are dramatic.

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Anonymous OP 14h

You know what no one has a path to? Your dick. Specifically lesbians

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Anonymous OP 14h

Do you know *any* lesbians that would refer to their experience with comphet (which would be the experience you’re describing there) as just an inconvenience to them? im saying it is inherently traumatic for lesbians, sure theres varying degrees to that but that goes for all trauma and oppression, you wouldn’t say someone getting kicked out for being queer is just an inconvenience for them because they coped well with it, you’re the one arguing in bad faith here,

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Anonymous #5 14h

Sex with men is an inconvenience. "It" is referring to sex with men, not comphet. This isn't even a case of ambiguous pronouns, the preceding thing that "it" refers to is "sex with a man". Again, this is a literacy issue. If you wanna argue that for some lesbians who has sex with men and weren't particularly into it while it happened but aren't in crisis about it aren't actually lesbians because a real lesbian would be suffering at the thought, you can make that argument I guess

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Anonymous #3 14h

They don’t know any lesbians bc they’re can’t be within fifty feet of one without whipping their meat out

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Anonymous OP 14h

You cannot be saying that while having the reading comprehension of a goldfish

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Anonymous OP 14h

If sex with men is an inconvenience then why do you want lesbians to have it with you

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Anonymous #6 14h

Do you think it's a requirement in straight sex to suck dick? Is this how it goes in your head because clearly you fantasize about it a lot to keep saying it

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Anonymous #3 14h

So where did I say comphet is an inconvenience? Let's start there

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Anonymous OP 14h

“Comphet is just an inconvenience” need i say it out loud with a picture book?

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Anonymous #3 14h

Yes I know at least 2 lesbians who are still good friends with the first bfs and maybe the would or wouldn't use the word inconvenience but they have said that it wasn't that deep they just weren't really into it and didn't even know they were lesbian until they were with a woman and it felt completely different. A good amount of comphet lesbians do indeed just feel an indifference toward straight sex and they just wouldn't do it again but it doesn't kill them to know that they did

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Anonymous #3 14h

You literally can't read

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Anonymous #5 14h

You can't just make up a sentence and put quotes around it and pretend it's a quote lmao that's not what it says. You can't read!

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Anonymous OP 14h

“When it really is just an inconvenience practically for a lot of lesbians who were in comp het relationships “. There. Notice where you said “its just an inconvenience “

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Anonymous #5 14h

Again, I literally spelled it out in plain English that "it" refers to "sex with a man". If you were literate, that would be obvious because "sex with a man" is the noun that is directly precedent to the pronoun "it". It is not my fault the the education system failed you

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Anonymous OP 14h

Sex with men is comp het. You said sex with men is an inconvenience. Transitive property would suggest you said comp het is an inconvenience. Glad i could help. No lesbian likes you btw.

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Anonymous OP 14h

Being good friends with someone after figuring yourself out doesn’t necessarily mean anything about how they felt about sleeping with them, they didn’t feel“indifferent” enough to stay did they? someone coping well with it doesn’t make it not a traumatic situation,

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Anonymous #3 14h

Also 2 lesbians are not representative of “a lot” of us, this is giving Andrew Wilson “some women liked to be raped” bs 💀

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Anonymous #3 13h

You can't ask me for personal anecdotes then say I can't use personal anecdotes. I never claimed the 2 people who vocally said this are representative of the entire lesbian population, I am simply arguing against the claim that it is intrinsic to lesbianism to be traumatized by the process of figuring out your sexuality and citing 2 people *that I was asked to cite* to support my claim. Those 2 people aren't representative of all lesbians but neither are you lol you're making my point for me

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Anonymous #3 13h

Feeling indifferent toward a partner is a reason to break up lol that's not a reason to stay

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Anonymous #3 13h

Not everyone is traumatized. You don't have to root your identity in shared trauma, there are actually good things about being a lesbian that you can anchor as being core to lesbianism beyond sexual trauma

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Anonymous #5 12h

The definition of comphet is not "sex with men", you don't even have to have sex with a man to be dealing with comphet so not only is the transitive property argument a joke, even if i did want to entertain it, it's immediately wrong.

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Anonymous OP 12h

Duh this doesn’t remove the oppression that we face, theres lesbians that have never experienced this, though this started as a discussion about privilege not what being a lesbian is, no where did I say the trauma im describing is a “core” lesbian experience but that we shouldn’t reduce it to an “inconvenience” because we’re resilient,

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Anonymous OP 12h

Sex with men is literal a vital part of comp het. Dont speak on things you don’t experience lmfao.

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Anonymous #3 12h

Idk if you said it but someone literally did say sex with men is inherently traumatic to lesbians

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Anonymous #3 12h

Yeah so let's get back to the initial point of the conversation. About privilege. First of all I never said lesbians don't face oppression. The claim being made is a lesbian in a supportive environment who is free to live their life as they choose is not less privileged than a bisexual that is in a relationship with because their safety is actively at risk and it may even be a crime for them to be with a woman.

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Anonymous #3 12h

I'm not claiming all bisexuals are less privileged than lesbians, I'm claiming a western lesbian in a blue city who goes to a lesbian bar every weekend and is openly out and still supported by their family is not less privileged than someone who has to deny themselves on the basis of their sexuality due to where they are. It is not a strictly lesbian phenomenon and you are not inherently worse off because "in theory" you'd have to do that too if you lived where they lived

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Anonymous OP 12h

Your personal anecdotes don’t even prove your point? Like i said you can be friends with an ex bf as a lesbian and still feel a certain type of way about the sex/relationship, the only thing you proved is that we don’t hold it against the guys for society imposing comphet, doesn’t make it less oppressive or traumatic tho,

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Anonymous OP 12h

The way that you framed this absolutely does imply that though, this started with ppl in the comments saying that there is an additional additional consequences that come with choosing to be with someone that doesn’t match up with your sexual orientation, forgive me if im wrong but no one was saying bisexuals are inherently more privileged, just that we have different areas of privilege, and when people starting arguing with you you got defensive and reduced that to lesbians being superficial

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Anonymous #3 12h

And that gender is fake anyway,

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Anonymous #3 12h

The anecdote literally says "they have said that it wasn't that deep and they just weren't really into it and didn't even know they were lesbian until they were with a woman and it felt completely different" Like it literally says that they said it wasn't that deep that just weren't really into it and it was so inconsequential that they didn't even know they were a lesbian until they found out how you're supposed to feel when you actually are into it

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Anonymous #3 12h

So like did you even read what I said or you saw three words and ignored the rest?

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Anonymous #3 12h

People literally are saying bisexuals are inherently more privileged than lesbians in this thread. And I didn't reduce the additional consequences to being superficial, someone said lesbians CANT be happy with a man and I was simply arguing if you literally value anything about a partner beyond your attraction to them then you CAN be happy if they're giving you everything else you want/need from them. I do think it's superficial to die on the hill that you CANT be happy in a loving relationship

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Anonymous #3 12h

I never said lesbians are inherently worse off than other queer people, especially those that face other intersectionalities than lets say a cis white middleclass lesbian would, intersectionality is essential to my perspective as well, this includes the fact that lesbians do have a harder time having a beard of sorts than those that are capable of being attracted to the opposite sex, of course biphobia also sucks

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Anonymous OP 12h

You can have a great platonic relationship with your partner but if there is an non negotiable incompatibility (like how you can’t change your orientation) that is much different than losing some attraction over time or being shallow

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Anonymous #3 12h

Okay cool that *you* didn't say that, I never said that *you* said it. My post literally says "your mom goes to pride with you. I personally don't think someone opting for a straight relationship to avoid being beaten and murdered by their family is less privileged than you" If you agree with that sentiment, which this comment suggests you do, why did you come under this post arguing?

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Anonymous #3 12h

Like you literally were arguing lesbians are less privileged because they can't be happy in a relationship with a man. That is what you were arguing. Why are you pretending like you didn't argue that point

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Anonymous OP 12h

Lesbians have it worse in certain ways. No one was saying bi people don’t have their own oppressions and people being homophobic to them. But we all have unique privileges and being able to pass as straight is one them. Lesbians and gay men just dont have that privilege without sacrificing ourselves and identities. You have spent hours saying lesbians can be fulfilled in straight relationships which basically implies we can be fixed. You are lesbophobic and homophobic.

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Anonymous OP 12h

Im a white cis lesbian. I am white and cis and therefore have that privilege. If you cant see how being in a straight presenting relationship is a privilege you are blind.

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Anonymous #3 12h

The way you were talking about this earlier gave the impression that we could just be happy in relationships with men and properly assimilate with little inconvenience, I think thats why people are accusing you of being a man into “dyke breaking” unfortunately thats another one of those things that we as lesbians have to be on the alert for as its a very dangerous homophobic fetish that targets us directly

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Anonymous #3 12h

I never compared it to losing attraction over time. I said you can be happy with a partner you're not attracted to. It is not a prerequisite for happiness that you MUST have been physically attracted to them when you met them. A nonnegotiable incompatibility to you is not a nonnegotiable to all. That's why you have some lesbians not figuring out they're lesbian until they're 40, and in the same vein why you have asexuals in relationships with people who aren't ace. People figure things out

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Anonymous OP 12h

Obviously only if they want to but yeah people do figure it out every day

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Anonymous #5 12h

You're missing the point continually. Do you think a lesbian who's publicly lesbian and out to her family and in community with a bunch of other lesbians and queer people is less privileged than a bisexual actively enduring physical violence and legitimate threats against her life? I'm not talking about theory and systems, I'm talking about real life comparing those two situations

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Anonymous OP 12h

I agreed with the post, but I disagreed with your comments you said about how lesbians (and yes lesbians abroad feel this way too) are pressured to ignore their own sexual boundaries in ways that bisexuals dont have to, its only one facet of oppression, but its a valid criticism, you took it as me saying its somehow the only way to have traumatic sex or that every lesbian experienced that, but thats not at all what I was saying

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Anonymous #5 12h

The only claim I'm making is people can be happy with a good partner even if it's not their ideal partner. I'm not saying they couldn't be happier, I am simply saying these relationships exist and saying "can't" when you literally can doesn't make sense.

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Anonymous #5 12h

"Sacrificing your identity" is very arguably not as bad as being murdered because of your identity and that's the point you keep missing

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Anonymous OP 12h

You compared it to not being attracted to your partner growing old, same difference you meant shallow, you said superficial, saying that a lesbian can negotiate with her sexuality is kinda crazy and so far of a reach from your friend’s experiences

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Anonymous #3 12h

You can lowk argue with the wall asexuality is a spectrum, lesbianism isnt, yours extremely disrespectful and lesbophobic

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Anonymous #3 12h

I've seen people burned at the stake on this app for saying lesbianism is women exclusively attracted to women lol I think lesbians need to get aligned on whether it's a spectrum or not because clearly there hasn't been a consensus.

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Anonymous #3 11h

I didn't base that on my friends experiences nor did I say people "negotiate with their sexuality", your sexuality is what it is. I'm saying if you care more about a good partner who would be a good parent and who has your same values etc than you care about the idea of having sex with them, then it's not as much of a nonnegotiable as it is for someone that that's the primary concern. Gets back to the whole it's not always traumatizing some people are just not into it

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Anonymous #3 11h

If you're monogamous but your partner who's otherwise a great partner and supports the lifestyle you want and is a great parent and you guys work well together etc, the cost of becoming nonmonogamous may not be as high as a the benefit of staying with your partner. everyone runs cost benefit analysis and if the benefit exceeds the cost, it's worth it. To some people, nonmonogamy is a nonstarter and even suggesting it would end the relationship. To others, they're not a fan but not as averse

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Anonymous #3 11h

This was your first interaction with the post. You said this before I said anything about that

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Anonymous OP 11h

Bean soup-ing is annoying sure but wasn’t disagreeing with the post, I have it upvoted, and I did the same for the other 2 comments sharing their experiences, im not sure what you think that proves

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Anonymous #3 11h

Talking about having to violate your sexual boundaries in order to please your family in response to my post reads as saying you are less privileged because bi people don't have to do that. My point is if you're safe enough to just decide you're not gonna conform to what's expected of you, you are not less privileged that a person who has no choice but to either conform or be brutalized and/or murdered. The first comment is bean souping sure, the second one is relevant

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Anonymous OP 11h

The second part was added later also, but im sorry my comments made you feel that I was trying to dismiss the invalidation that comes with biphobia, I was adding more nuance as a lesbian that has been on that end of it, that I can relate and how much it really sucks no matter what you do fr,

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