Anonymous OP 1d

She is definitely fetishizing the community, but I wouldn’t necessarily say she’s not bi or part of the community. I think she has her own issues that come with figuring out her identity and along with that there are unfortunately a lot of fandom spaces that don’t realize how they’re fetishizing mlm

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Anonymous #1 1d

I once had a friend that made me feel really uncomfortable by how much she fetishized being queer (to the point I didn’t feel comfortable saying I was bi around her), but during a sleepover she started describing gender dysphoria and feeling like she had to be with a man so there was at least one penis in the relationship, and while I still found her earlier comments inappropriate, it made me realize that she needed a lot more self-reflection on her end to understand why she felt that way

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Anonymous #1 1d

That said, I’m so sorry you’re dealing with her making comments like that. I really hope she realizes that her comments are inappropriate and understands that it comes off more as fetishizing than supportive

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Anonymous #1 1d

it’s okay. i just feel bad cause i’m finding it hard to see her as queer when it feels performative and idk i really wanna not see it that way. you explaining your friend helps me know i’m not the only who’s experienced someone like this though so thank you for that

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Anonymous OP 1d

I’m glad it helped! I understand why it would feel hard to view her as queer when it feels like she lacks respect for other people in the community (it sounds like she does), but I think you’re making the right call keeping that part to yourself. She sounds like she needs to realize being part of the community doesn’t make her exempt from problematic behavior

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