LGBTQIA+ on Yik Yak | I have a question. Is there a type of asexuality for when… You can see someone and think they’re hot and you could imagine having sex with them. And you’re fine with sexting. But for some reason. Once people want sex with you physically it makes you +

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LGBTQIA+ 5d

I have a question. Is there a type of asexuality for when… You can see someone and think they’re hot and you could imagine having sex with them. And you’re fine with sexting. But for some reason. Once people want sex with you physically it makes you +

😣

Anonymous 5d

This could just be me, but I feel like what you’re experiencing is pretty normal. It’s easier to imagine sexual things and imagine doing them than it is to actually do them if that makes sense. I know you’ve probably heard it before but sexuality is a spectrum so putting yourself in a category like asexual, like the other commenter said could limit you, but I also feel like there are different types of asexuality and everyone is different.

Anonymous 5d

Uncomfortable. And you can only really imagine physically having sex with someone you’ve been with for a while. And have first gotten the romantic attraction really solid. Bc I used to label myself as demisexual. But over time I feel like my thoughts around sex have changed a lot.

Anonymous 5d

Op look up lithrosexual

Anonymous 5d

were you raised christian? i think this is something that a lot of us who grew up in purity culture face, especially if you're afab

Anonymous 5d

Just sounds like religious based sexual aversion to me. Anxiety around sex bc you grew up being told it was shameful and disgusting

Anonymous 5d

i’m ngl dude this is very common and i don’t think it has to do with religious sexual aversion or anything. sex is intimidating especially if you’ve never had it before. it can be scary to be that vulnerable with someone. take it at your own pace and don’t feel pressured to do it until you want to. if you think a label is helpful during this process then maybe demisexual is the right fit for you rn or something along those lines.

Anonymous 5d

question, and i'm not judging at all: do you have any kind of trauma experience related to sex? you can DM if it's uncomfortable to discuss here

Anonymous

OP 5d

And now I’m kinda stuck. Because I’ll be attracted to someone. Even someone you could consider a stranger. and I’ve sexted before. But when it gets to actual sex. I’ve never done it because I’ve never been in a relationship. And it’s hard for me to imagine actually having sex…

Anonymous

#1 5d

As far as I know… no? But I know for some people if it happens when you’re extremely young your brain can just fully block it out… Before I thought my asexual tendencies were because of all the Catholic school I did. But over time I got more comfortable with sex and the idea of it. So I’ve decided I don’t think the physical aspect is related to that either… it’s just a genuine like. Mental block almost? Like say someone wanted to ask me out. I can look at them and genuinely want sex with them

Anonymous

OP 5d

But then the moment it would start to happen. I feel like I’d freeze and not want it anymore

Anonymous

OP 5d

interesting. I'm going to say this and I swear I'm not judging, I would maybe hesitate to go straight to thinking this is a type of asexuality, since that could kind of get you in the mindset of "this is just how I am," when it could be something psychological/moral/cultural that was instilled in you at a pretty deep level. catholic school will do that. but. obviously don't do anything you're not comfortable with, ofc

Anonymous

#1 5d

I guess. Idk it’s just been a constant question on my mind. Especially recently. Because I’ve talked about it with some girls I know in person and they’ve also been a bit stumped because they can tell with a lot of stuff I say that I’ve definitely gotten past a lot of that Catholic “sex is taboo” stuff… but 🤷🏻‍♀️

Anonymous

OP 5d

everyone's brain is different. and hey, if you keep thinking about it and you do think it's asexuality, more power to you

Anonymous

#2 5d

Yeah that’s part of why I wanted to ask to see if anyone knew of a more specific term since there’s so many different types of asexualities….

Anonymous

#3 5d

True I guess… but like. For more context. I think it’s also the aspect of me getting in my head about it too… maybe? So idk maybe asexual has nothing to do with it. And it’s more so just… I’m bi right. And a virgin. So like Sex with a girl. I feel like I’d be fine with it. Honestly. Sex with a guy… I think I’m partially more wary of because I get in my head about like… getting pregnant obviously. Bc I’m not on birth control or anything.

Anonymous

OP 5d

But then I think about it more. And I just think I’d freeze in the moment no matter what…

Anonymous

OP 5d

Maybe it’s partially bc I’m still a virgin. And like once I’m not ill get over that main barrier in my head?

Anonymous

OP 5d

Yeah just seems like general sex anxiety. Certainly worth talking over with a therapist

Anonymous

#3 5d

Don’t have a therapist. But maybe one day 😔

Anonymous

OP 5d

Most colleges have free on campus mental health facilities. You should reach out

Anonymous

#3 5d

I’ll keep it in mind 🫡 (Bit busy rn)

Anonymous

#2 5d

Asexual is not a very limiting category, there’s a very wide variety of us with a lot of different experiences. We have so many micro labels for a reason.

Anonymous

#6 5d

Also if the other commenters are right and you feel like this cause of trauma but you still feel the label describes you then that is completely valid. The asexual community includes many who are asexual because of trauma. These words are to describe your experience whatever that experience is. If this turns out to be an anxiety thing that you move past that doesn’t make it less real now.

Anonymous

#5 5d

Catholic. But yes

Anonymous

#6 5d

Exactly. That’s part of why I was asking tbh. So if I had to explain it to someone I could just give them some sort of label they could look up. Because I have friends that have been confused even when I explain it. And i think having a proper label even if it’s temporary could at least help with that. If that makes sense?

Anonymous

#6 4d

Thank u so much. Looked it up. And that honestly feels pretty fitting. At least for now. And I appreciate the words validating my feelings about labeling myself more officially. I was starting to feel a bit lost with these comments but yours has made me feel more okay again with trying to find a label despite the past.

Anonymous

OP 4d

that could be part of it? js kinda a subconscious icky feeling towards sex bc of the way you were raised, especially if it's a fearful or grossed out feeling that you get

Anonymous

OP 4d

That absolutely does make sense