LGBTQIA+ on Yik Yak | Lowkey as an asexual woman(?) I think half my discomfort w my gender comes from how closely being a woman is associated w being an object of sexual desire. And how most of the typical ways to perform femininity feed into being desirable.

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LGBTQIA+ 5w

Lowkey as an asexual woman(?) I think half my discomfort w my gender comes from how closely being a woman is associated w being an object of sexual desire. And how most of the typical ways to perform femininity feed into being desirable.

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Anonymous 5w

Yep that makes total sense. Personally I think about it as more role model for little kids type femininity where I’m dressing in fun colors and looking sparkly but also very calm and confident and friendly so kids feel like they can approach me and ask for help. Like nannying actually really helped me stop viewing femininity as hypersexualized things

Anonymous 5w

why did you put it exactly into words 🥲 femininity is beautiful to me, i see it as pure and untouched by sexuality. it’s when society pressed its dirty grimy horny fingers into that image that makes me so uncomfy being seen as feminine

Anonymous 5w

That’s strangely similar-ish to my reasonings. I am a cis man, but struggle somewhat due to how men are viewed in society compared to women. Not in some sexist “women have it easy” sort of way, mentioning it cause I’ve seen that before, too, but in that,.. I grew up with almost ONLY women friends from about 15 onwards, the time you do the most interpersonal developing, and as someone who feels so much closer to the feminine energy to the point I struggle to be friends with most cis men at this

Anonymous 5w

same here. I spent years binding with tank tops and duct tape in my childhood and wearing clothes to cover my body. I deeply questioned my gender identity bc of that, and thought i was uncomfortable bc of my gender. i realize now that i am a woman, what I was uncomfortable with was being an object

Anonymous 5w

I could not agree more as a black man I’m viewed often as hyper sexual and seen only for my potential to violate women and not as a person with inherently consensual desires

Anonymous 5w

100% agree. I’m a masc woman and it trips up sooooo many people when I tell them I’d rather be complimented on my trustworthiness, strength, dependability, etc and not on physical looks or youthfulness (bc that just sounds creepy if desirability is infantilized). If you tell me I’m strong and capable, it goes a lot farther than “you’re so beautiful”

Anonymous 5w

yes!! I’m a non-binary trans fem and hated how my masculinity as a man was based on lusting after women. it was emasculating just to react negatively to other men making sexual comments about women to me. being agender has been so freeing

Anonymous 5w

yeah this is real as hell. i’m not ace nor do i identify as a woman anymore, but im afab and thought i was ace for a long time because i was so deeply uncomfortable with how casually sexualized i was that i became repulsed by the whole idea of sex and being seen as an object of sexual desire

Anonymous 5w

I had this identity crisis like the VERY first night of my freshman year of college when I was finally away from the people who sexualized me the most - my parents. I decided I am a woman and I love that about myself but literally F society big time. Fortunately now I can wear things I was shamed for wearing before and have lots of confidence and pride in it. I think being ace helped a little because I forget people might be thinking sexual thoughts. But even if they are that’s their problem

Anonymous 5w

bruh moment

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Anonymous

mother_russia 5w

I started viewing femininity as self expression and joy rather than something performative. I did colorful makeup and face paint and even though it made me seem less desirable to men specifically, I would avoid scratchy clothes so kids could comfortably fall asleep on me but colorful jewelry that was safe for them to play with

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Anonymous

mother_russia 5w

Honestly was when I felt the most feminine in when little girls would look at me super excitedly and point at my makeup or clothes like “yes! Look! Mom that’s so cool!”

Anonymous

sheepie 5w

Part 2.) point, along with shared political beliefs, and shared political attitudes against men that have been entirely unchecked by not hearing the same on the other side(just my random guess, I have no clue ¯\_(ツ)_/¯), I have just come to feel misaligned, or

Anonymous

sheepie 5w

Part 3.) so separated from the archetypical male, or what it is said to be male,.. and things like that. But at the same time, I know I’m not trans. At most I’m like.. trans fem or enby, but I don’t want to convince myself of that, because then my life would just get harder cause I’d have to transition and stuff, or worry even further about my gender identity than I already do. Also,.. I’m 6’9.. so it’s not like I’d pass with under $330,000 of work >.< aaaanyway (that’s not what this is about

Anonymous

sheepie 5w

Part 4.) , sorry for the ramble).

Anonymous

sheepie 5w

Part 5.) I’m not sure what to do with any of this info about my brain. I don’t have dysphoria, i just struggle with how men are viewed, only in that I can’t help but be this GIANT HAIRY MAN and not be treated with the sweetness or understanding of my complex emotions that I know mySELF to have. Blablabla there

Anonymous

sheepie 5w

Maybe shave and, like, where a shirt that says “women’s rights” or something? It sounds so simple but the people who’ll get it will get it. I feel you though, it sucks to be viewed as shallow/threatening just for the way you present, wishing things get better for you 🤝

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Anonymous

sheepie 5w

That’s totally understandable. On a side note, you’re the same height as my dad lol. Honestly, to present one way that you might not come off as, it can be helpful to have pins or stickers or things you believe in or support! Like I’m super straight passing so I kept a pan pride pin on me so maybe you could try something similar?

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Anonymous

#6 5w

Ngl same

Anonymous

mother_russia 5w

I work in a restaurant and my favorite is when my little guests MATCH with me ✨ I told a girl I loved her butterfly clips and she said she liked mine 😭🫶🏻

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Anonymous

#11 5w

Awwww that’s adorable I love it!

Anonymous

#7 5w

i’m sorry but 1) they shouldn’t have to change their appearance to please others. maybe they like being hairy 2) wearing a shirt that says “women’s rights” is the most performative thing ever and i would assume any man wearing it is just trying to gain brownie points. like at least suggest a shirt that’s for a women’s aid group or something

Anonymous

#14 4w

The second one is a good point. As for the first, you’re right that I didn’t consider they may like being hairy, which of course they should continue to be if they prefer. I’m not sure I was suggesting that they change their appearance to *please* others, though. It sounds like there is an image of themselves their presentation evokes in other people that *they* dislike, so I was trying to give some advice as to how to decrease the chances of evoking that image.