LGBTQIA+ on Yik Yak | Hi!! I’m dating a trans man (not fully out but only out to me and my best friend) his family wouldn’t be supportive and I’m wondering what all I can do to show him I do love and support him even though he’s scared to be out to my family and his.

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LGBTQIA+ 4d

Hi!! I’m dating a trans man (not fully out but only out to me and my best friend) his family wouldn’t be supportive and I’m wondering what all I can do to show him I do love and support him even though he’s scared to be out to my family and his.

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Anonymous 4d

It may be good for him to identify low-stakes ways he can feel more himself. Think about things which create plausible deniability in regard to his transness. One awesome thing my brother did for me was help me cut my hair- I was getting a buzz cut so he could make mistakes. This was low-stakes for me because I could still pass as cis with a buzz cut. But helping him get a haircut (whether you cut it or just go to a hair appointment with him) is just one idea.

Anonymous 4d

This is the sweetest!! Not a trans man, but transmasc nonbinary speaking here- I think one of the best medicines for the queer-coming-out-anxiety is reassurance of your TRUST in them. Tell him that you love him and are proud of him, regardless of what his next steps are. Reassure him that you are there and trust him if he takes more and more time to feel ready. Tell him about how you believe in his trust in HIMSELF to do what’s right for him. It returns the power back to him. 🫶

Anonymous 4d

I think the most important thing is to not rush him, assure him that regardless of what he does (or doesn’t do) ((or just hesitates on doing)), you’ll still love and care about him, and see him as your boyfriend.

Anonymous 4d

Just treat him like a gentleman, give him boy tasks that affirm his gender like letting him hold your things for you, being chivalrous n all that. Tell him that you love him for who he is, unconditional love and support is a plus, give more words of affirmation Also when you give him head? Bob your head up and down n moan like ur sucking a dick that’s sooo gender affirming and we love it

Anonymous 4d

Hi OP, I’m a trans man too. I’ll just say what I probably would’ve appreciated in his shoes. My relationship with my family has been permanently damaged by me coming out and transitioning, but ultimately it was worth it for me to live as my authentic self. Sometimes you showing he can experience love and support and that doesn’t have to come from his family can be helpful. If you can afford to buy gifts from time to time, masculine clothes, cologne, stuff like that is great. 1/X

Anonymous

#2 4d

This is one thing that worked for ME, but everyone’s transition goals are different! It may take some time for him to figure out what works for him!

Anonymous

#2 4d

I mentioned the hair cut but he’s scared to because he’s used to how he looks and doesn’t want his family to ask why he cut it the way he did which I understand due to his family being so conservative.

Anonymous

#1 4d

I have! He told me a month (?) into dating and since then I’ve been as supportive and understanding as I can be and we are now 6 months in and I make sure to show him that I love and accept him and my best friend who I see as a sister accepted him and shows it. I’m grateful to have him as my best friend and boyfriend.

Anonymous

#4 4d

The boy tasks I do that without even thinking of it really since he already does them without me going out of my way to. The bobbing my head part we don’t really have that yet since we haven’t gotten around to it (I’m in a college dorm and he still lives at home) but once I get my own place we are gonna get one since we can have a more personal place for it and everything.

Anonymous

#5 4d

Maybe look into binders, packers, something he can use around people he trusts to relieve dysphoria but doesnt need to be worn around his family. He can try out a haircut that has diverse ways he could style it. Look into haircuts recommended for gender fluid people! He could style it more masculine or feminine depending on who he’s around and his confidence. Try not to give him feminized compliments, but don’t make it sound forced in a masc way either. 2/3

Anonymous

#5 4d

Offer to listen to try and better understand is dysphoria (if he has it ofc). And just try and socially treat him like you treat other guys in your life. Or like you’d treat a cis boyfriend.

Anonymous

#5 4d

I do! He already wears binders and he still lives with his family so things that would help him is sadly limited (conservative family) I try my best to get him gifts that I know he would like but I’m in college so my money is very limited. My plan is to get him more gifts once I have a more stable job. I give him compliments and to me they don’t sound force but obviously I could be biased. Thank you so much!!