Anonymous #4 13w

the only acceptable argument

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Anonymous #10 13w

There’s nothing wrong with being vanilla but it’s absolutely concerning to see the public gauge of what is and is not vanilla to be shifting to favor the puritanical point of view. There’s no problem w not being kinky but claiming non-kinky things to be kinky shifts the whole thing to the right and facilitates worsening demonization of **actually** kinky shit

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Anonymous #9 13w

see the weird thing is, to me, this is kind of going both directions at once. like certain kink things are becoming normalized to the point ppl act like theyre default/expected, and other super normal vanilla things ppl treat like freak shit. like i have heard a stupidly high number of stories of friends having partners randomly try to choke them during hookups, spank them way harder than just a little pat, etc, but also i’ve seen people act like it’s super weird and kinky to like. eat ass

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Anonymous #12 13w

Bc it's erotic🥵

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Anonymous #7 13w

This is a very good point but I think that the normalization is a remnant from the bimbofication era we experienced several years ago where people were being very open with their sexual preferences. And there definitely was some shame associated with being vanilla during that period (and you’re going to see that from certain people everywhere) but I think the conversation to be had there is less about kink normalization and more about centering consent in every sexual environment

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Anonymous #7 13w

Bcos a lottttt of people are into vaguely kinky stuff to where some of it is, in fact, normal (especially in certain populations) and there’s nothing wrong w talking abt that and celebrating that BUT it does very much still need to be understood that not everybody is into every thing and enthusiastic consent needs to be #1 priority. Ppl will say “it ruins the mood to ask if they want to be choked” as if choking someone who doesn’t want to be isn’t literally assault 😭

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Anonymous #2 13w

Still doesnt make sense to me

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Anonymous #12 13w

Some people like the sensation of choking, some people like watching it happen on their strap and some people like to do it bcos they enjoy pleasing those people. At the end of the day tho it doesn’t rlly matter if you get it or not, don’t yuck ppls yums

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where is it yucking vanilla sex, it just says people are dumb for calling sucking the strap bdsm. and sucking the strap is not inherently a dominance thing or a choking thing. I think some people just like the immersion tbh, which is why it’s erotic

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Anonymous #2 13w

YEAH!! Like.. SORRY✋🏼, but you know how it is to find to find non-dirty talk, but praise instead?! Unheard of outside of cute femdom gen z couples on Twitter

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Anonymous #10 13w

#ratio’d

0

Anonymous #12 13w

bc it’s hot. i am not picky abt whether the guy i’m blowing is using store bought or homegrown

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Anonymous #7 13w

Yeah I 100% agree, the problem isn’t as one-dimensional as a lot of people want to admit

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Anonymous #12 13w

Its less for physical enjoyment but rather for show and to lube it up a little in my experience

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Anonymous #9 13w

All of your reasons sounds like bdsm. Im not gonna waste my time explaining since my other comment got deleted

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Anonymous #15 13w

Wdym immersion? As a gay guy I think it would be silly to suck or fondle a silicon boob for "immersion" cause Im not attractive to female sexual characteristics. Unless youre referring to trans sex, which I dont think OP was talking about

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Anonymous #7 13w

I understand that people think its hot. I dont understand why

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Anonymous #18 13w

Lubing it makes sense. I dont understand the "show" or the mental enjoyment. How is the "show" not a dominance thing? How is the "show" not reinforcing heteronormativity? Im not talking about trans sex

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Anonymous sheepie 13w

I dont agree, personally. You can totally be submissive in vanilla gay sex. If you only feel welcome in bdsm spaces, I think you might just have bdsm tendencies. What do you mean by "real submissive male"?

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Anonymous #14 13w

Choking is ABSOLUTELY considered bdsm/ kinky. Obviously i dont know your full situation but I dont mention my kinks casually, I would only have kinky sex with a trusted partner

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Anonymous #12 13w

When I say choking I mean a light hold not even like out of breath vv tame😭

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Anonymous #13 13w

I think there might be some confirmation bias in this statement. Yes, there are absolutely parts of society that have started trending more politically conservative within the past decade or so. But we have also progressed A LOT in the 21st century, and I'd argue that being somewhat sexually/romantically conservative has such a minimal impact compared to social or economic conservatism. One is solely a personal choice, and the other imposes an ideology on society as a whole.

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Anonymous #12 13w

As a gay man, I've felt somewhat romantically conservative my entire life, but I am very progressive socially and economically. I strongly support monogamy, private expression of sexuality for straight and gay couples, and basic/vanilla sex. But, I don't embrace religious values like marriage before sex or a strong opposition towards abortion. No matter what, these views only apply to me and the partner I choose. If other people decide otherwise, I'm totally fine with it

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Anonymous #14 13w

Imo it's sorta the same. My ideal version of sex treats both participants equally. Choking, even lightly, signifies an imbalance which implies a BDSM exchange. One person is dominant, while the other is submissive and masochist. I was choked unexpectedly during sex once and it hurt more than it gave me pleasure. And I can't imagine hurting my bottom, I want him to feel pleasure just as much as I did. But if both parties really enjoy their role, more power to them

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Anonymous #12 13w

Yeah its mostly a dominance thing + just kinda hot to see her looking up at you, but yeah a lot of us don’t really see it as heteronormative because isn’t really done to the same length as like if you were actually suck a dick, its just a part of the tension build before you get into sex not a recreation of hetero oral, and straight ppl already say its hetero to use a strap period so some ppl dgaf anyway

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Anonymous #12 13w

it’s not inherently a dominance thing to me at all. it *can* be and it’s fun when it is, but sucking dick is not inherently submissive. and besides, just watching someone suck my strap feels good to me. i am a gay trans guy fwiw so i cant give terribly relevant answers on behalf of lesbians, but i think its silly to imply theres anything heteronormative about two women fucking in the first place

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Anonymous #7 13w

I didn't imply that lesbian sex is heteronormative. I'm saying that this aspect of lesbian sex is heteronormative.

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Anonymous #12 13w

i’m saying that *no* aspect of lesbian sex is ever going to be heteronormative bc thats not really what heteronormative means. heteronormative = societal shit that treats heterosexuality as the default, eg a form having a space for mother and father rather than parent 1 and 2. but even arguing with a phrase that i think gets at what you are, like emulating heterosexuality or whatever, i *still* don’t think lesbians are doing that either. having a dick involved doesnt suddenly make something het

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