Anonymous OP 9w

Before my friend asked me this, she told me she needed to talk to me about something but she doesn’t want to ruin our friendship and she didn’t want me to think she’s a horrible person (my gf wasn’t with me). She even started crying before she got it out. I had to beg her to tell me because my anxiety was through the roof guessing what she was trying to say.

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Anonymous OP 9w

After she asked me, she said she and her husband don’t even kiss in front of her kids and that she doesn’t want them to be forced down any path in life - she wants them to make decisions for themselves. This was my best friend. She has been so supportive up until this point and my heart is broken. I feel like I’ve lost a friend. I was baffled in the moment and just said ok. I know I should’ve said more but I didn’t even know how to process it

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Anonymous OP 9w

Idk if this is a bad take but If they don’t do PDA in front of their kids I don’t see the issue with them asking you not to? At that point it’s not homophobia, it’s just a parenting decision and it’s their own house

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Anonymous #1 9w

I would’ve said the same if OP didn’t include “…she doesn’t want them to be forced down any path in life—she wants them to make decisions for themselves” as if queer people’s existence is ‘brainwashing’ kids to be queer? To me that feels more than the friend simply not wanting PDA around the house

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Anonymous #2 9w

But then again the friend and her husband doesn’t show affection in front of kids, but idk it still feels a little icky given a lot of ppl already believe we’re ‘pushing an agenda’

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Anonymous #2 9w

Maybe yeah, but it also implies that they don’t want to push the “straight agenda” on their kids either?? Idk this situation is strange lol

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Anonymous OP 9w

im sorry ur friend sucks and is probably lying and homophobic

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Anonymous #3 9w

u deserve to exist w ur girlfriend without being told that ur “forcing children down a path in life” by just holding ur girlfriends hand or hugging her or peck kissing her

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Anonymous #1 9w

To me it sounds like a excuse for OP to not be openly affectionate with their gf. Hiding children away from seeing any affection like kisses/hugs between ppl (and their own parents??) cause you don’t want them to be “forced down any path in life” is weird as hell imo

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Anonymous #2 9w

Yeah it’s definitely weird that’s for sure

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Anonymous #1 9w

I wanna add that I don’t really believe they aren’t affectionate around their kids. I don’t come around much when her husband is around but the few times I have been, they do kiss when he comes home from work. Also, I know when the first baby was born they’d have *intimate relations* with the baby in the room (up until he was 2) because they still lived with best friend’s parents and they all 3 shared a room.

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Anonymous OP 9w

I’m not meaning to talk bad about my friend because she holds a special place in my heart but I am very hurt by this because I know deep down that they do hug and kiss in front of their kids. It’d be weird if they didn’t. And she just said that so it doesn’t sound bad on her part.

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Anonymous OP 9w

We are from Appalachia and we both grew up in Baptist church so I do understand why she feels uncomfortable by it but it still stings because this was, unfortunately, my only safe place back home where I could love my gf openly. I think that the fact she was nearly crying and kept saying she doesn’t want me to hate her is enough proof that she knows what she was asking of me was wrong, she just doesn’t want to work through the uncomfortableness of my gf and I and would rather ask us to stop.

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Anonymous OP 9w

Ultimately, it is her home and I will respect her wishes but I won’t be bringing my gf back and I’ll probably be more closed when it comes to my love life. She has been very curious in the past and has asked me questions about my lifestyle (she had a gay “phase” back in 2019ish). It feels like I’ve lost a friend right now but I’m hoping it gets better. I don’t think I can be that open anymore around her tho, so friends at a distance it’ll be. I’m not trying to punish her, I just feel unsafe now.

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Anonymous OP 9w

The additional context definitely makes it sound more disrespectful than it seemed at first. Thanks for the clarification

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Anonymous #1 9w

My bad for not adding it initially, I just didn’t wanna yap haha. It is just a very strange situation still. Thank y’all for your input!!!

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Anonymous OP 9w

Oh no worries I get it. I really hope you and your friend get the chance to talk and restore trust. Losing a good friend really sucks

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Anonymous OP 9w

i smell bullshit. i bet they let them watch media where straight couples show PDA. i'm very very sorry this happened to you, ultimately i doubt that her reasoning is the actual reason why she asked that

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