Anonymous #1 1d

the issue is i'm not ace. i have sexual desires and thoughts but no means of acting on them due to not having the right genitals. so an asexual person wouldn't want me because i'm not ace, and an allo person wouldn't want me because i can't have sex

10

Anonymous OP 1d

Untrue! I’m asexual, but sex neutral for instance People like me could be fine with or without sex, in any way shape or form that’s required of a partner

14

Anonymous #1 1d

And there are so many ways to act on sexual urges that isn’t insertion related, so you might be able to experiment

9

Anonymous #1 1d

that's nice and maybe just maybe someone like this would be willing to accept me but firstly asexual people are probably 1% of the population and this specific subset would be maybe (generously) 10% of asexuals. that's .001% so in the state that i live in about 10,000 people. but furthermore 98% of people in general are unwilling to date a trans person so 200 people. they would also need to speak english and be within by age range which brings it down to 25 people. basically what i'm saying is t

6

Anonymous OP 1d

hat mathematically speaking it is a hopeless endeavor. i certainly appreciate the encouragement but continuing to be hopeful would be illogical given the odds. i will learn to be happy alone.

6

Anonymous OP 1d

I know like 3 asexuals personally that I’ve dated lol It’s not impossible, some people just don’t have the words for it

7

Anonymous OP 1d

Considering you met me, who fits all your standards, it’s certainly not that low of a percentage chance

6

Anonymous #1 1d

ok well are you trans? probably not and that makes it easier. plus you yourself said that you would be willing to have sex for it it was for your partner's sake with means your dating pool is 100x larger than mine (realistically more like 10,000x larger if you're cis) because sex is a requirement for the vast majority of people. is it impossible? obviously no. but think of it like this, winning the lottery isn't impossible, but you'd have to be a moron to spend your money on lottery tickets.

4

Anonymous #1 1d

right, but the percentage chance of meeting someone on the internet is completely different because you could be from anywhere. you exist in a pool of 8 billion humans vs for me there's probably maybe 30 million that live close enough for me to make it work. plus there's no telling if we would actually be compatible, you might think i'm super ugly or vice versa there's a million other factors i haven't mentioned.

3

Anonymous OP 1d

Absolutely, but the world is smaller than you think and anything’s possible

8

Anonymous OP 1d

Honestly, I just think you should try and be hopecore about it This type of thinking sends you spiraling and will cut any chances of romance you will find

7

Anonymous OP 1d

The reason I can say it, is I’ve literally dated trans men with this issue. More than one. It isn’t impossible, it’s just a journey

4

Anonymous #1 1d

you're saying this because you know i'm right. i am avoiding an enormous amount of mental suffering and exhaustion by assuming this mentality. one day, i can hope to be 100% fine with being alone, if i start early. continuing to hope in my situation would be frankly unhealthy. i will refer again to the lottery ticket metaphor. countinuing to hope and seek a partner in my situation would be akin to a person who spends 20% of their paycheck on lottery tickets every month because they believe the

2

Anonymous OP 1d

Whatever works for you, but I can say you’re sorta being a self fulfilling prophecy

10

Anonymous OP 1d

y will eventually win. it's stupid, wasteful, pointless, and just sad. giving up is sad too, but one day maybe i'll be able to make peace with it, i think maybe i could induce aromantic tendencies in myself by avoiding romantic themes in media and avoiding romantic fantasies in my head. i don't know, it's worth a shot.

4

Anonymous #1 1d

you're absolutely right that it is a self fulfilling prophecy, but the thing is that it will come true regardless of what i do so it doesn't matter

4

Anonymous OP 1d

If you say so man, genuinely think you’re just giving up because you’re just scared to get hurt, when really the only universal thing about life is to fully enjoy it, you need to be willing to get hurt and grow from that pain Either way, gen hope you find happiness in any way

8

Anonymous OP 22h

every aspec person I’ve met has either been willing to date a trans person or been trans themselves, offhandedly saying 98% wouldn’t date you because you’re trans is dooming way too hard. we also don’t have statistics on how many acespecs are sex-neutral to sex-positive, but that’s like 50% of the possible spectrum that’s compatible with you. acespecs also tend to be younger, so saying 12.5% are young & speak English in the US is simply untrue

1

Anonymous #2 22h

I’m a trans person & ace & have dated five different people, three of them also acespec (currently doing great with my partner, actually). it is not remotely impossible, even if it’s easier to believe it is.

6

Anonymous #2 22h

I genuinely understand the desire to be hopeless about it, because expected pain is better than unexpected pain. letting yourself hope means you can be blindsided again, and I doubt you aren’t jaded. but there ARE people for you, even if it’s not easy to find them. the most important thing is to know when someone isnt right for you, since wasting your time on them is how you never find your people.

1

Anonymous #2 21h

but as i said, i'm not ace, that's a part of the problem...

1

Anonymous #2 21h

it's not offhanded at all, there are studies on this

1

Anonymous OP 19h

source?

1

Anonymous #2 19h

that graph’s words are small, but it doesn’t look like there’s a section for ace people alone? from what research I’ve done, the 98% estimate seems outlandish, especially as some estimate that ~40% of ace people are trans themselves.

1

Anonymous #2 19h

I’m also confused about your objection to not being ace yourself, as you said yourself you have “no means of acting upon” your desires. unless that will substantially change, I don’t understand why not being ace is a problem when you seem compatible with that group

1

Anonymous #3 9h

if only it didn't cost as much a new car

1