i know, you definitely need some sort of stability to validate your feelings rn or it can get dark fast, i use the mindful care practice, they have trauma therapists you can filter through with all kinds of qualifications. i also use hello alma, i highly highly recommend you look into those. you don’t deserve to be alone with this grief. theres also group therapy options as well as substance abuse help if you also struggle with that. you can dm me on instagram if you have it, @xnightosphericx
feel everything you need to, don’t ever feel guilty for not being able to show up for people rn, please try to eat even if it’s a slice of bread and a liquid IV. sleep as much as you need, often times thats the only way to shut it off without medication, i know this is bad advice but weed really helped me numb that loss as well if you feel out of control :(