I mean, it’s going to be a difficult conversation no matter what, but you really should just sit down with her and explain how you feel, and then give her some space and time to process it (don’t demand a response or support immediately, especially if it’s a shock for her). Explain (if it’s true) that you’re grateful for her and your relationship, anyway, because she might be worried that your feelings about her were never real.

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“Hey, so have you ever heard of a lavender marriage? Cause uh. You might be in one.”

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