LGBTQIA+ on Yik Yak | I just want someone to love me even though I’m disabled I know that sounds stupid, but I’m so scared that no one will ever date me because I will be the reason why we can’t go out on all these cute dates people do, and I don’t want to bore them by

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LGBTQIA+ 9w

I just want someone to love me even though I’m disabled I know that sounds stupid, but I’m so scared that no one will ever date me because I will be the reason why we can’t go out on all these cute dates people do, and I don’t want to bore them by —

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Anonymous 9w

— having to stay home a lot or do “smaller dates” cause of my symptoms/flare ups. I’m worried I won’t be able to give someone a normal relationship experience, because we won’t be able to do all the “normal dating” things people do Sorry for the rant, I’ve just been thinking a lot lately

Anonymous 9w

thank you for posting about this, made me feel less alone to see. being physically disabled can be so isolating at times and i think a lot of comparatively able-bodied people don’t often take up the “challenge” of listening to us about what our daily lives are really like / thinking about it beyond how our setbacks affect them in particular

Anonymous 9w

I dated a girl who had cerebral palsy. She wasn’t in a wheelchair or anything, she could walk around by herself. She was very independent. We found ways to do the “cute dates”. We even went bowling one time. We found ways to make it work. She wasn’t ever a burden and to this day, she was one of my best relationships. The right person is going to come along and do the same for you. It’s all in the universes timing

Anonymous 9w

This may sound weird, but what I did to boost my confidence in a way was buying like accessories that help with ur disability. For example, I just bought an awesome like antique cane to help with walking and as a bonus it’s like a cool talking piece and makes people less focused on the disability and more on ur personality, cuz like you must be cool if you buy smthn like that yknow

Anonymous 9w

I feel Exactly this dude I have a super rare form of paraplegia and I’ve always been so anxious and afraid that no one will like me in that way. Thanks for making me feel seen

Anonymous 9w

I know how you feel. I’m not disabled, yet, but I have several medical problems that will probably qualify me in the near future. I have weird medical problems and I’m too scared to date because I’m scared I won’t find someone.

Anonymous 8w

there will ALWAYS be people out there willing to love you. i have several chronic illnesses including a debilitating spinal injury and it took me a long time and a lot of work to build myself up to the point of being able to live independently again, and now i’m in a very loving throuple with two people who fully understand my circumstances and are happy to accommodate me. but at the same time you can’t let your conditions control your life. putting in the effort to grow and evolve is sexy!

-2

Anonymous

OP 9w

That’s okay man, dating sucks sometimes. I like to just have faith that the right person will come to me eventually, it’s hard but not impossible <3

Anonymous

#2 9w

i mostly prefer to get close with other chronically ill & physically disabled people for this reason. but fwiw, i’m pretty seriously debilitated and i’ve had fulfilling, successful, mutually-supportive romantic relationships with able-bodied people in the past as well. so i believe it’s possible for you too! ❤️‍🩹

Anonymous

#5 9w

Feel this man, worst feeling ever. As a disabled person, I wish I could say it gets better but it’s rly hard. You just gotta find the person who looks past it if that makes sense

Anonymous

#6 8w

I know your comment is trying to be supportive but you're really coming across as if you're saying that you only found love after becoming independent, and there's some problems here. You have no idea if OP isn't independent in the first place, and also most of us can’t control whether or not we're ever independent. And we deserve love anyway.

Anonymous

#7 8w

you absolutely can control it though. it takes effort, just like anything else worth doing, including love. being disabled doesn’t mean you can’t do anything, it just means that you face greater hurdles than the average person in doing things. you can either choose to put in effort toward achieving the things you want or do nothing. implying that someone with a disability can’t or shouldn’t try to do things because they’re disabled is the absolute most anti-disability thing i can conceive of

-2

Anonymous

#6 8w

well that’s funny, i would say “you can’t let your conditions control your life” is the definitive instance of both lateral & internalized ableism in this thread. many of us have limitations which need to be carefully respected because exceeding them comes with consequences for our health & functionality. that’s not a failure of willpower, it’s keeping our expectations aligned with reality

Anonymous

#6 8w

there are things i can’t do and shouldn’t try because of my specific physical disabilities! disability can frequently be debilitating. denying that isn’t doing anyone any favors

Anonymous

#2 8w

cool well enjoy that life i guess. i clearly won’t be able to convince you that you are capable of greater things than surrendering to your own body

-1

Anonymous

#6 8w

Hey wtf are you on about. Independent living is a specific term that has a specific meaning. You need to quit telling other people that living their lives in a way that is healthy and accessible for them is a bad thing. Get your act together.