I have similar (kinda it’s complicated) feelings. It’s a little cliché maybe, but the advice that helped me was to just do what makes you happy. If you feel like you want to experiment with dressing a different way, binding/inserts, different hair styles, or even get surgery or hormones to make yourself happy, go for what feels right. If you don’t want some or any of these things, that’s fine too. You’re you and you do you.