Anonymous #1 1d

it’s just someone who’s sexual attraction doesn’t align with their romantic attraction. like an asexual lesbian

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Anonymous OP 1d

if you want to look more into it, it’s pretty cool to see our diversity of queer experience; the LGBTQIA+ Wiki site has concise explanations on variosexuality & the Split Attraction Model it’s based on

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Anonymous OP 1d

ultimately tho, it’s just someone experiencing sexual attraction to (n)one group & romantic to none/another. if you don’t know the Split Attraction Model, it can be a bit confusing tho. a lot of people use that model, so I recc looking into it to understand other’s experiences (especially those of aspecs)

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Anonymous OP 22h

oh and blocked me bc they’re pressed by my identity… glad they did bc people like that are a scourge on this page

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Anonymous #4 21h

old #3 is so bizarre

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Anonymous OP 14h

I understand it for aromantic and asexual people but I don’t understand it for ppl who aren’t on the asexual spectrum. Like I just don’t understand how if you are for example a pansexual heteroromantic (last person I met who used SAM irl identifies this way) is that not just someone who is sexually attracted to everyone but only wants to date the opposite sex. Like should that person wonder if it is internalized homophobia that keeps them heteroromantic

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Anonymous #6 13h

if i were to go back to the SAM id probably be homosexual and like biromantic or something? i am fully asexual towards women and for years didnt realize i liked men bc my attraction to women couldn't reach men. i'm sure there are people that are just uncomfortable with being gay, but im honestly the other way and j think that does serve as evidence that it isnt just internalized homophobia

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Anonymous #6 8h

if it helps, think about it like being aspec towards a certain group, e.g. gay men are “aro/ace” towards women while a panromantic gay man is “asexual” towards women

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Anonymous OP 8h

oh, and a lot of us have a similar questioning arcs to aspec people lol. I realized I was a pansexual lesbian because I realized I didn’t enjoy anything romantic with my bf and it felt like I treated him like a very close best friend instead of a romantic partner lol. also, internalized homophobia would make no sense for all those people who still date the same gender 😭 if it away homophobia, they’d just use it as an excuse lol

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Anonymous OP 7h

That makes more sense. The first time I heard it explained for ppl who aren’t ace/aro in that way. In the past it has been explained to me by someone who uses the SAM and is not aro/ace that it is similar to how a r@pist might want to fuck you but not have any attraction to you in a romantic sense and I was like that can’t be right but I kept meeting ppl who were like no that’s basically it, I like your explanation a lot better

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Anonymous #6 7h

comparing us to rapists is genuinely insane and nothing at all like how it feels 💀 thank you for listening despite that being your first impression of us

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Anonymous OP 7h

This person genuinely believed that all rapists experienced spilt attraction and that SAM could be used to help rapist understand their thinking and I was like oh (I later found out he is in fact a rapist). Like what really confused me was the 4 ppl after him who were all like no that’s basically it, or that’s one way of thinking about it, so thank you for taking the to explain it

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Anonymous #6 7h

yeah ofc 😭 I got a skewed first impression of asexuality & of non-binary identities from an abuser, so I completely get the confusion that comes with that…

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