LGBTQIA+ on Yik Yak | just had a SUPERVISOR try to talk to me about the gender of a person ( this person is trans FTM). the supervisor emphasized to me and another person that the person is a girl. now i’m brainstorming how to address the comment bcuz she’s prob telling others

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LGBTQIA+ 1w

just had a SUPERVISOR try to talk to me about the gender of a person ( this person is trans FTM). the supervisor emphasized to me and another person that the person is a girl. now i’m brainstorming how to address the comment bcuz she’s prob telling others

Anonymous 1w

continued - she could be talking to others just as she attempted to talk to me - those types of comments ultimately create a uncomfortable/hostile work environment for some

Anonymous 1w

“Hello HR, I personally witnessed a disturbing incident involving [supervisor] on [insert date]. [Supervisor] approached me and informed me that [coworker], who has informed me of their identity as a transgender man, is in fact a woman. I do not know if this is malicious, however I am concerned that [supervisor] is spreading this misinformation to others in the office. I am concerned for how this will affect [coworker]’s emotional well being, safety, or reputation.”

Anonymous 6d

fuck I had the exact same thing happen in a previous job with a coworker who was ftm. and the horrible thing was even their direct higher up, who was a queer man and acting as an advocate for them, was doing it to them too. so they had someone completely misgendering them from the administrative side (very much on purpose) and then there was also their direct boss using "he" even they only used they

Anonymous 1w

that sounds.. reportable for harassment honestly, if it was intentional. there’s a chance they were just confused, but low

Anonymous

#1 1w

that’s what i think too - i’m considering my options of reporting directly to HR or make an attempt to speak to the supervisor in question directly ( or am i pushing it in my want to give her the benefit of the doubt she meant it maliciously )

Anonymous

#2 1w

Whether your supervisor meant to do it or not, what they are doing can be considered harassment. It’s putting your coworker in a situation where they might feel they have to lie to protect themselves or out themselves to the entire office because a supervisor spread a lie instead of having what should have been a private conversation with that coworker. It’s not your supervisor’s job to be spreading that information around in the first place, especially if they’re not sure.

Anonymous

#2 1w

you’re right. thank you - your comments have been helpful and encouraging to do the right thing

Anonymous

OP 1w

Of course. As a trans guy, I know how I would feel if I was in your coworker’s shoes. It’s not always easy for the person affected to speak up on their own, especially if they’re trans and the issue surrounds their gender identity. It’s easy for them to feel (or even be told outright) they’re being overly sensitive if they complain. But if a third party complains, it shows HR that it can’t be brushed off, and it shows the affected person that their coworkers are looking out for them.

Anonymous

#3 6d

all that to say I'm so sorry you're in this position! I don't know the best thing for you to do unfortunately I brought it up with a supervisor who was already aware and I also let my coworker know

Anonymous

#3 6d

that’s wild to me

Anonymous

OP 6d

yeah so their supervisor claims was that they just weren't confident enough to switch over to he/him yet... plus they're a massage therapist, so the administrative person was booking people with them saying they would be with a female therapist (they're in the midst of medically transitioning rn so it's kind of evident they're trans), so we had multiple people walk out of their appointments or say shitty things to them because of that administrative person