Anonymous #4 16w

hesitation is also a huge no !!!

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Anonymous #5 16w

yeah that’s not consensual. if someone has to pressure you into performing sexual acts with them until you say yes, that’s still not consensual

32

Anonymous #2 16w

he was sooo mad at me for telling him how it is lmfao

23

Anonymous #6 16w

I will say though I tell my partner now when I’m nervous not because I’m not consenting or don’t want to have sex, but more so as a signal for him to be more gentle than usual because I get painful tightness from anxiety in the beginning of penetration a lot of times. I just get in my own head but once we’re going I relax and I’m good

13

Anonymous #8 16w

r u hot

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Anonymous #5 16w

bruh….

7

Anonymous #10 16w

I said the first one while drunk and drugged (I didn’t know I was drugged till a week later) and they still didn’t listen. It was a plan all along and I was SA. What a fun way to start the new year and start what was my second semester of freshman yr or college HA

8

Anonymous #4 16w

“i don’t think this is a good idea for us right now” = no “i don’t know what my family/friends/other people will think” = no “i need to think about it” = no “i’m not ready yet/i want to wait” = no “i thought i was ready, but now that we’re doing this, i don’t think ready yet” = no/stop “thank you for taking me out/buying me dinner” ≠ consent for sex

36

Anonymous #12 16w

Now that I think about it… should I just stfu and pretend it feels good? I feel bad to just stop altogether?!?!

1

Anonymous #12 16w

don’t feel bad if you don’t want it you don’t want it. i wouldn’t even recommend having sex tbh

7

Anonymous #5 16w

It only hurts when I over douche

3

Anonymous #12 16w

I don’t recommend pretending anything. Communicate that it hurts and maybe you could switch positions or change something so that it hurts less. But also it’s okay to stop before someone finishes if it hurts (it’s okay to stop before someone finishes period. If one party wants to stop for any reason, it stops)

7

Anonymous #12 16w

Over douche? Please tell me you aren’t doucheing your vagina 😭

3

Anonymous #12 16w

If it’s anally you are talking about then obviously that’s fine! But you really have to specify to your partner when you are in pain because you can cause serious organ damage if you ignore it.

6

Anonymous #12 16w

Honestly, this might sound extreme to you, but if you don’t feel comfortable telling your partner when you are in pain or when you want to change something in sex or stop all together, you shouldn’t be having sex. You HAVE to communicate with your partner. It will cause resentment and pain for you and your partner will feel horrible for hurting you regularly and not knowing. I’ve definitely been there and until you think you can communicate, you should put a hold on sex.

6

Anonymous #12 16w

if you really don’t want to forgo having sex that way because of pain, i strongly recommend trying a silicone lube. water based lubes dry super fast, silicone lube will stay slippery until you wipe it off. it even stays slippery if you try washing it off with water. but do take things slowly and communicate if something hurts, it’s always okay to take a break and try again later

9

Anonymous OP 16w

Or even additionally getting a humidifier to put on in the room when you have sex so it’s not so dry and lube doesn’t dry up as quickly!

5

Anonymous OP 16w

but at the end of the day, if it hurts and you don’t like it, you don’t have to do it. your partner should respect you enough to respect that boundary. if it’s a dealbreaker, that’s okay. you can find someone else who will respect that

4

Anonymous #6 16w

I was going to say… like I’m nervous anxious every time. I’m anxious 24/7! I’m sure everyone is nervous at least their first time. You can be both nervous and enthusiastic lol

11

Anonymous #21 16w

Oh that’s not confusing at all, if a girl is saying she asks her bf and he isn’t into it and she does it anyway, that’s rape. Truly. If your girl friends are saying things like that, call them out on it and talk to there bf’s to see if they want any help.

4

Anonymous #21 16w

I forgot to specify but the third they (before sounded) is referring to the girls

2

Anonymous #21 16w

Oh maybe were they talking about guys acting like that don’t want to have sex with them and just want to be friends but then he asks later once they are together or sends nudes or something?

2

Anonymous mother_russia 16w

They were talking more about how to be manly(?) Gender expectations idk…wanting guys to “act like they mean it” while they play coy. I feel like that front gets in the way of direct communication which is important for consent but maybe that’s not something everyone agrees on?

2

Anonymous #21 16w

Actually thinking about it for a second, they might have been taught by the wrong people and were just perpetuating the problem that men have with consent

3

Anonymous #21 16w

Oh strange for sure, definitely talk about it with them if you’re comfortable because consent applies both ways

3

Anonymous #23 16w

That’s awful I’m so sorry. Even if you had said yes, you were waisted and that’s not consensual then.

5

Anonymous #23 16w

That’s so awful I’m so sorry. Consent is key regardless of gender. I’m sorry that happened and that’s not a good person to be around. If she’s going to be pissed that you didn’t wanna consent to it.

7

Anonymous #23 16w

Thank you for the support y’all! 🫶

6

Anonymous #8 16w

Not me literally having this same exact experience, also now a trans guy lol. I can’t seem to bring myself to go date anyone else after that ex.

5

Anonymous #24 16w

im sorry to hear that. may we both heal together ❤️

2