Anonymous #6 3d

I also have a mired of physical things that make me dysphoric like pectus excavatum so maybe trans guy isnt all that off? Idk ive asked my trans guy friends irl and they recommended Demi boy even though they wouldn’t care just non lgbt people are weird

32

Anonymous #6 3d

I personally prefer that we keep labels like “trans man”, “transmasculine” etc coordinated with the approximately “FTM” side of things (and vice-versa) just for the sake of linguistic clarity within community conversations. but that being the case, I think we’re also long overdue for the establishing of clear language for gender configurations like what you described

15

Anonymous #6 3d

(tbc: if a trans person who was AMAB tells me they feel most closely identified with trans men, then I do immediately view them with the same kind of kinship I feel towards other trans men! def not here to do any “gatekeeping”. I just think the “transmasc / transfem” labels are useful as-is and that altering those definitions would be less intuitively useful than popularizing new vocabulary)

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Anonymous #7 3d

I fully agree cause I don’t exactly face the same issues (for lack of a better term) that ftm people do and thats important to note; but I really do wish I had a better word than non binary/demi boy cause I certainly don’t see myself the same way cis guys see themselves and it annoys me that our language let alone society isnt caught up to us yet.. but I will say im a heavy ally to my trans brothers cause even a lot of queer communities look over them and it’s unfortunate

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Anonymous #6 3d

Admittedly on the other hand gender is very fuzzy and a wholely personal experience but I still feel like I shouldn’t “water down” ftm trans people by using those types of labels

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Anonymous #7 3d

Oh yeah no I agree completely cause I love the community but internally I share the same worry so I don’t say im trans masc or anything to a lot of people

5

Anonymous #8 3d

—aaaand it’s gone!

25

Anonymous #6 3d

i get you. i’m a genderqueer butch woman. i am trans, and i am a woman, but i’m not a “trans woman,” so i usually just have to pick which part to emphasize in a particular context.

16

Anonymous #9 3d

Ive actually never thought of that, i suppose I would say the same and genderqueer is probably the best term since it’s a catchall term. But yeah id say im trans and a man but not exactly a trans man; separating the two would probably help me explain it to others too (if they actually wish to understand lol)

19

Anonymous OP 3d

thank you, sorry you have to deal w this it sounds awful

18

Anonymous #10 3d

Basically your brain expecting something different from where your body is currently, it’s not exclusively trans as many cis women/guys get surgery or just work out because of it, hope this helps if the definition doesn’t make sense lol

12

Anonymous #6 3d

Though socially it would just be expecting to be treated/talked about in a certain way and then people dont respect/know that and it causes you distress

6

Anonymous #6 3d

yes thank you for some reason i didn’t relate dysphoric to dysphoria that’s mb thank u all for the explanations

11

Anonymous #10 3d

Oh yeah you are good I figured you just didn’t know my bad 😭🙏

10

Anonymous #6 3d

all good hope u have a good day :)

7

Anonymous #11 3d

What

25

Anonymous #10 3d

Sorry I like fell asleep but I wasn’t just posting a screenshot to be rude or anything, I just can’t really explain dysphoria great myself :) also makes sense that dysphoric and dysphoria didn’t register as the same thing to you, the words look similar but different, like dysphoria and dysmorphia do

9

Anonymous OP 3d

Maybe I made an inference? Sorry… this conversation pattern just sounds exactly like DTK and my assumption is that man you were talking to is a dubious practitioner but I could be wrong

2

Anonymous #11 3d

DTK???

3

Anonymous #1 3d

I don’t disagree with you, though fakeclaiming also isnt the answer

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Anonymous #1 3d

I feel like this isn’t the post to discuss sexuality and kink, the focus is on how people can be disrespectful and I just want to condemn that and move on

7

Anonymous #11 3d

what does it mean?

4

Anonymous #11 3d

boy what the hell are you talking about

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Anonymous #11 3d

What’s dtk??

4

Anonymous #11 3d

You’re the one who brought it up??

7

Anonymous #14 3d

Tbh if I was dating someone I probably wouldn’t mind, but the op was saying it to be demeaning to me, and it made me feel really horrible

19

Anonymous OP 3d

Oh well yeah that makes more sense I was gonna say those as terms of endearment are like super gender neutral

11

Anonymous #14 3d

Yeah before op deleted the post you could tell that they were demeaning me. It’s less that they’re inherently feminine, (they’re not) and more that I said to not call me that, that it makes me uncomfortable, and then after saying it made me dysphoric, op said I was probably beautiful irl. Beautiful also can be used for men, but in this situation it was obvious they were being transphobic

8

Anonymous OP 3d

With discourse there are always knowers and unknowers. Some people likely did understand my comments on sexuality but that was never my focus. I just want to reiterate, his actions are detestable and I’m sorry you had to deal with him.

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Anonymous #11 3d

please put a sock in your mouth

8

Anonymous #11 3d

“dubious practitioner of detransition kink” is such an inappropriately charitable way of framing “creep who gets off on casually misgendering & demeaning trans men”??? “dubious” implies a degree of ambiguity… whether he was acting on a sexual proclivity or not, there’s nothing ambiguous about harassment

10

Anonymous #13 3d

Love being reminded we aren’t a monolith and some of us genuinely are assholes when we don’t understand smth. Big sigh. Still love 💕

-1

Anonymous #7 3d

I intended no ambiguity. I’m not sure how to say it with more “negative gusto” but yea his actions were detestable, and a dangerous parallel to something else that humans do in a safe way. People like him create confusion which is another bad thing on top of just harming one person with his transphobic behavior

0

Anonymous #11 3d

I don’t like saying “gets off” I used my words and they were clear I think you’re doing too much tryna come for every little bit of how I said what I said

0

Anonymous #7 3d

DETRANS KINK? AND TRANS KINK. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE. TRANS PEOPLE ARENT KINKS

1

Anonymous #11 3d

but even beyond you not knowing what “dubious” means, in what world does it make sense to describe harassment as simply “practicing a kink”? did you not just acknowledge of your own accord that this thread wasn’t the place to focus on sexuality and kink? the “something else that humans do in a safe way” isn’t relevant to this conversation in the first place because what OP posted about was very obviously not comparable to a mutually-negotiated consensual act. holy shit.

10

Anonymous #11 3d

Bro even IF this is a real thing you gotta understand your original comment sounded super transphobic cause I have no clue what “transkink” means but it just sounds like the people that call trans girls autogynophillacs, if you arent transphobic cool but understand the average trans person doesnt know what trans kink is cause it’s our gender not kink

3

Anonymous #6 3d

I understand. Sorry it came off that way. It’s hard when there’s so much intersectionality sometimes. But yea gender and sexuality and kink have always existed exclusively and in tandem with eachother

0

Anonymous #11 3d

I think it’s even more important as a trans person to be informed about the ways people perceive you, and may misunderstand you or try to harm you. It’s like not fair we have to arm ourselves against those that would do us harm. They should just not do it, but while the world is working on being better we also must survive

0

Anonymous #11 3d

I mean fair enough just as long as you understand most trans people just see whatever the op said as transphobic and dont excatly know/have that kink it’s fine by me. I was just very confused by the language and it didn’t sound great; it’s fine if you have that kink to be clear i could care less if people like being called slurs or something consensually but obviously public stuff like that shouldnt really happen for others sake

1

Anonymous #6 3d

most of us know the kink, its just a transphobic thing

3

Anonymous #11 3d

Well not necessarily sure if I have to inform myself on how other fetishize trans people, I know it happens but I’m not gonna actively search it out. I have my own kinks but looking into how like republicans see trans people doesnt seem desirable to me

7

Anonymous #1 3d

Well dont get me wrong I knew it was a kink though I thought it very small, mainly the abbreviation made me heavily confused also “transkink” as one word just sounded wrong lol

2

Anonymous #1 3d

Also yeah I would harbor to guess 90% of people interested in that kink are transphobic

0

Anonymous #6 3d

I get it. I didn’t want to get into it really I just said it for what it was but other people pushed the letter so I went ahead and explained further. I’m glad that we as humans can just have talks I think that’s like how things get better, versus how sometimes people shut down when they feel offended or confused. I guess it’s similar to raceplay, it is valuable for black people to know about raceplay and how it works so that they can be safe, but it’s not their job to save the world from it

0

Anonymous #11 3d

Some of us can be more blissfully ignorant than others and the knowers of things can be primary defense against them. That feels like community. Some people maybe are just meant to be the poster for an unbothered joy. I value innocently peaceful joy

0

Anonymous #11 3d

Dont get me wrong I love getting called horrid shit in bed but the weird part is brining that up when someone else has someone do something bigoted towards them, cause usually the perpetrators of that bigotry are not getting anything sexual out of it. So thats just why it confuses me why you would post that under this but I don’t care about the kink it self you just shouldnt liken other peoples experiences to your own kinks but

2

Anonymous #6 3d

My original comment was pretty benign. I wasn’t likening it to “my own kinks” I was saying wow this is a dangerous parallel to another aspect of sexuality and then no one knew what I was talking about. I think we’ve talked this out. We could reread all of the comments in this thread and end on the conclusion: a bad thing happened, and we feel emotional for OP and wish them well. I’m done

-1

Anonymous #11 3d

well no, what happened was that you actively Refused to explain further lmao, you wouldn’t even break down the acronym when asked. and then you got smugly defensive when someone who knew what you were talking about entered the chat to criticize you for bringing that up in this context

3

Anonymous #11 3d

but anyway, congrats on being the first user of this app to cause me such severe & prolonged secondhand embarrassment that I was motivated to mute the entire thread you were replying to

-4

Anonymous #7 3d

Okay

-1

Anonymous #12 3d

it’s the internet lol anyone can claim to be trans and do it for shitty optics. who cares everyone here is anonymous anyway

10