recursive on Yik Yak | Is it fetishization if i mostly want to date queer women (bi/pan/nb/something)? Not for like “they like women” but becuase im SO TIRED of heteronormative dating. Im genderqueer/gendernon confoming/something. I like women, but I really love queer women .

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LGBTQIA+ 10w

recursive

Is it fetishization if i mostly want to date queer women (bi/pan/nb/something)? Not for like “they like women” but becuase im SO TIRED of heteronormative dating. Im genderqueer/gendernon confoming/something. I like women, but I really love queer women .

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Anonymous 10w

I feel kinda bad about it, but i love that we can relate over like shame, discovering ourselves, and just like.. im not afraid cause ik they are less likley to make me act more “macho” than i am. I kinda hate boring heteronormative man behavior and cant do it. Im terrible at being that. Im fruity af. Its not a 3some thing. Its more a “we kinda have a thing in common” type thing. So for me, knowing a lady is queer is a huge like plus. It feels safe and awesome.

Anonymous 10w

No, that’s just a preference. You want people you can relate to and feel comfortable with, and queer women will give you that without the struggle of explaining your identity and queerness. And even if it was, honestly it doesn’t really matter… As long as you treat people kindly, I couldn’t care less what a person found attractive about me

Anonymous 10w

I think you’re fine, it would only be a problem if you were like “I could never date a straight woman, there couldn’t be one that appreciates me, we’re just too different”, because that’s just a generalization. Looking for a partner in queer spaces is definitely not fetishization with this reasoning. Even if generalizations are never absolute, it makes sense to aim where the odds of being understood are more in your favor. Having that queer identity in common is also probably good for most.

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Anonymous

recursive 10w

Honestly I respect that. My bf and I are both pansexual and it really makes the experience of being together that much deeper IMO. So much so that we know we wouldn’t want to date any other way but queer.

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Anonymous 10w

Yupp. Imma be real. Cis straight women expect SUCH narrow masculinity often and enforce it ferociously. It takes alot for me to feel safe with a straight lady

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Anonymous

hermatcha 10w

YES! Like not bound to stupid norms. Im genderqueer and like heteroflexible (i dont think many people are just straight) and like.. the fucking HONESTY of not masking any of it is amazing for emotional intimacy

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Anonymous

recursive 10w

(I agree with the everyone not being straight, i think everyone starts out neutral to explore till society has something to *do* about it) We literally have a relationship where we talk about everything and our attractions included, i love that he feels comfortable bringing his feminine side out with me and now he even feels comfortable being around others in that way. It makes me feel safe and so happy. Androgynous babe fr🫂.

Anonymous

recursive 10w

definitely doesn’t sound like fetishization, you shouldn’t have to feel bad! i respect that you wanted to check in with peers about it tho. but yeah, being opposed to heteronormative bs is a good thing, same with prioritizing other queer people in your personal life imo

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Anonymous

#5 10w

Yeah! Like if a straight girl is cool and is okay with me being me, and a big ally, thats fine. But she would have to talk about bit more and id have to know her w bit more to feel safe due to how other straight women have treated me in the past. (Being mean to me till i perform masculinity and reject my feminine side)