LGBTQIA+ on Yik Yak | My friend outed me to another friend when I wasn’t ready to share that I was gay. The friend is also gay so they think that it’s fine. How do I get them to realize that what they did was not ok and that it was a serious breach of trust?

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LGBTQIA+ 3d

My friend outed me to another friend when I wasn’t ready to share that I was gay. The friend is also gay so they think that it’s fine. How do I get them to realize that what they did was not ok and that it was a serious breach of trust?

Anonymous 3d

Not be friends with them anymore or take a break from them…

Anonymous 3d

In the past, I was a little passive aggressive and when a friend did that I would just release one of the secrets I know about them and I would like oh well I thought y’all would have that in common and I know they’re a cool person so I felt like it was gonna be OK. I’m sorry was that not OK?

Anonymous 3d

I would’ve affirmed boundaries to start, not everyone deserves to be put on blast like that. However, beyond the title; you need to affirm to yourself that someone else knows your orientation nor does it dictate your life’s decisions, your life’s decisions and goals should be the driving force in your endeavors. I would recommend this simple kind bit of advice, just be yourself; don’t be so self focused on the “I’m out endeavor, that’s not so much a big deal, don’t focus on the risk or loss.

-1

Anonymous

#1 3d

I thought of that but they honestly tell everyone everything and overshare so that’s another reason they don’t see a problem with it

Anonymous

#1 3d

But as I have matured and gotten more comfortable with setting hard clear boundaries and minor in conflict resolution in college i’ve learned NVC or nonviolent communication you start with an observation “you told someone I was gay” then you follow up with how that made you feel “I feel exposed” after that you close with what you need “ I need to feel secure and comparable before I tell someone I’m gay and I need to be the one that lets people know”

Anonymous

#1 3d

Last, but not least you make a clear request “in the future please check in with me before you disclose my private information”

Anonymous

#1 3d

These are just example things you can say because I don’t know your needs and your request