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LGBTQIA+ 3w
BDSM doesn’t create abuse but BDSM can be used in a way that is abusive. BDSM should always require consent. If consent is not given and you do something you are an abuser and participating in BDSM doesn’t excuse you from being an abuser
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LGBTQIA+ 3w
BDSM doesn’t create abuse, abusers create abuse. Stay safe, stay kinky, but most importantly, stay silly
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upvote 36 downvote
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Anonymous 3w

Also let’s remember that we shouldn’t tell victims of abuse that it was their fault or they did it wrong, this is something I have seen often in the BDSM community

upvote 12 downvote
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Anonymous 3w

See but the difference to me is that once consent is absent, it’s not BDSM, it’s r*pe. And I feel that it’s not really about BDSM in that case, since these things happen in many other cases too

upvote 4 downvote
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Anonymous 3w

you can abuse someone with literally anything. my friend got gaslit and abused partly because of her pencil case. OP was saying BDSM isn’t inherently abusive (and neither are pencil cases).

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #1 3w

I agree, however I have been told since I consented to some BDSM activities that when my boundaries were overstepped that it was my fault since I agreed to some BDSM activities. So I want to address how consent is still needed for all BDSM activities before doing them or it is abuse and abusing the BDSM dynamics that were established

upvote 5 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 3w

That’s fair, I just feel that this applies to all sex, there’s a lot of cases where people say “Well you agreed to ___, or you already agreed before, so I don’t need to ask again” even outside of just BDSM. Idk, maybe others are thinking differently than me though.

upvote 3 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #1 3w

I agree, I just wanted to focus specifically on BDSM since there is another layer to the whole situation

upvote 3 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #2 3w

*note that there are dynamics inherent to BDSM which can cause certain forms of abuse. however, OP wasn’t talking explicitly about these. they just brought up how people may abuse others through it

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #2 3w

Yeah but the dynamics of a pencil case aren’t the same as the dynamics of dom and sub. The character limit made it hard to add more but I was talking about the specific dynamics created by bdsm relationships

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 3w

yeah, you didn’t talk about the specific dynamics originally, so your og post seemed like it was calling the sky blue since anything can be used for abuse. but if you wanted to talk about the dynamics specific to BDSM and how they can be abuse, go for it

upvote 1 downvote