Anonymous #1 1d

I meant like trusting them as someone I can confide in. Feeling like I can’t rely on them for important insight/advice is not the same as being judgmental.

-7

Anonymous OP 1d

Well thats one way to put it. You cant rely on everyone for advice just because they are in the same ship. You cant rely on everyone who’s a child of divorce if you are too. This post is pointing out the blatantly obvious if thats what you meant. You cant get advice from someone who cant give it to you?

17

Anonymous #1 1d

There are certain realities that they are shielded from and it makes understanding a difficult thing to come across. Someone who has been in your shoes before is the most valuable voice to hear from but unfortunately not many people have been in my shoes so they don’t understand enough to have valuable insight and what ends up happening instead is that my reality is downplayed or disregarded. Oh you need money? Just reach out to your parents. I CAN’T

-5

Anonymous #1 1d

“Oh why not? Just do it.” and then suddenly I’m rehashing my trauma all over again. I just want a fucking break

-2

Anonymous OP 1d

Yeah, i understand that. As someone who can certainly relate to what you’re saying i get it. Its just there are a lot of people with relative understanding who can take a moment to see from your pov, without having to be in your shoes. A large majority definitely. If a lot of people you talk to, for example like you said say “just ask your parents” and you say “i cant” and they can understand that, then they do not have relative understanding. Being able to understand different peoples limits is

17

Anonymous #1 1d

Definitely something inherently human and i hope you encounter the more intelligent people (who dont relate personally)

19

Anonymous #1 1d

In my experience it’s not the majority. No amount of vicarious understanding or intelligence can compare to the depth of understanding that comes the transformative experience of actually going through the thing yourself. I’ve kinda just learned not to rely on anyone because ultimately I know better than anyone else so even trying to explain kinda ends up making me feel worsen because I have to constantly defend myself and beg them to trust me about the details.

-3

Anonymous #1 1d

I’m typically met with things like “I’m sure they didn’t mean that” or “maybe you’re reading that wrong” because my circumstances are so unbelievable to most people. They literally cannot imagine my parents doing what they do. And my trauma comes from denial of authorship over my experience to it just compounds into meta-trauma.

-3

Anonymous OP 1d

it’s kind of judgmental to automatically assume they’ll dish out your stuff to their family. it doesn’t have to even be about family, but if you suspect someone might tell your secrets then confront them first and communicate that you don’t appreciate gossip and that you want to be able to trust them to confide them in things and not rat things out.

7

Anonymous #2 1d

That’s not what this about either huh? I don’t keep secrets.

-2

Woah holy shit man that is not the conclusion to be drawing here

4

Jesus christ dude you know thats the not the solution please dont kill yourself over my reply

8

Anonymous #1 1d

It would not be over your reply don’t blame yourself for this

2

Anonymous OP 1d

it’s been in the back of my mind since i was around 7 years old. I am effectively alone. Nobody truly understands me, not even my partner. And this shit show y’all put me through does’t make it much easier to fight. The world is fucked because everyone thinks about only themselves and instead of fixing the systemic problem we pin the suffering on individuals and make it their fault/responsibility to fix. It’s patriarchal coloniality enforcing itself but somehow I am the problem for feeling it?

-2

Anonymous OP 1d

That’s just plainly not true tho. I care so deeply about the people around me. I love so hard. I’d literally give my life in a heartbeat for like any of them. Empathy is far from dead you just havnt found it yet.

7

Anonymous #3 1d

I’m mad at the votes??? I should not be getting downvoting for speaking truths about my feelings.

0

Anonymous OP 1d

I thought you were mad at how people were responding to you. I wouldn’t take downvotes in here too personally I’ve gotten downvoted for super normal stuff on here some people here are just weird

5

Anonymous #3 1d

I know love and empathy exist because I am full of them

9

Anonymous #3 1d

It’s a cascading effect that starts with the first downvotes which came from the devil’s advocates in here immediately making assumptions about what I was saying and dooming me to being immediately scrutizined and opposed.

-2

Anonymous OP 1d

Hm. I are you saying all the last things about the comments on the other post?

7

Anonymous #3 1d

very proud of you but unfortunately that doesn’t help me. my social circle is decrepit and fixing them isn’t enough. I need society to actually care about decolonization but instead everyone is too busy shaming each other.

-2

Anonymous OP 1d

This is definitely a problem but doesn’t mean nobody has empathy or nobody cares abt anyone

8

Anonymous #3 1d

#1 started off by laughing at me and saying I have “negative opinions on family support” and that my feeling of being misunderstood is actually judgement. Right off the bat I was falsely painted as some fucking villian

3

Anonymous #3 1d

I work at a fucking starbucks. It’s my job to sell smiles and good vibes to people so they keep coming back and throwing their money into the machine. I am the one giving all the empathy and I want to be truly fucking supported for once in my life

-2

Anonymous OP 1d

The rest of their replies were much more empathetic and understanding tho, once they gained more perspective than you were able to give in the short post

6

Anonymous OP 1d

I’m sorry this is happening and that you feel this way. Your partner isn’t supportive?

13

Anonymous #3 1d

He is but he can’t handle my trauma and he can’t keep me from falling behind. Only I can. I’m the kind of person who makes therapists quit. I have to be a fully self sufficient unit because community is too close to communism for this godforsaken country. He got a therapist because of me

-3

Anonymous OP 1d

Dm me. Just try me, truly

5

Anonymous OP 1d

And I’m sorry that you have struggled to find community. My freshman year I really struggled as well and it took me a while to meet people at my school

4

Anonymous #3 1d

I am 23 year years old and graduated. This has been more than enough proof that I was right not to trust anyone to give me advice because I always just end up retraumatizing myself over and over again in trying and failing to explain myself properly against inevitable assumptions, but even then no amount of explaining can convey what I’ve been through. I’m just assumed to be incompetent which IS what created my trauma. I might as well just help myself by myself if that’s what I have to do anyway

-2

Anonymous OP 1d

Huh? I was just sharing my own experience i was just trying to relate a little bit to you? I’m so confused why are you saying these things to me

9

Anonymous #3 1d

I was not making any assumptions about you

8

Anonymous #3 1d

That was a rejection. Thank you but I’m done.

-2

Anonymous OP 1d

How did I assume you were incompetent

12

Anonymous #3 1d

I was not talking about you. Why are you making this about you?

-2

Anonymous OP 1d

You were responding to my comment?

7

Anonymous OP 1d

My trauma comes my feelings/experiences not being allowed to be considered real unless my parents approved of them, so I essentially lost control of my entire worldview. I was a slave to them, as an extension of their ideals and agendas. I was a trophy so whenever I failed to be outstanding I was punished. Every aspect of my life was controlled and I never had any individual relationship with either of my parents, only with both of them as a self conferring echo chamber unit.

-3

Anonymous #3 1d

When I have to explain my trauma to others and they tell me things about me that are blatantly wrong, it reactivates the exactly same post traumatic stress. I cannot do that shit.

-3

Anonymous OP 1d

I’m sorry that happened, I have experienced some very similar things and I know how awful and disorienting it is

6

Anonymous #3 1d

The internet can definitely exacerbate that as well, I usually avoid posting for that reason

6

Anonymous #3 1d

op i understand. i have cut off both of my parents before and im pretty much only in contact with my dad at all now because as much as he's still a raging transphobe, he did actually acknowledge that he fucked up badly after being extremely low to no contact with him for almost a decade. for the first two years i was in college even the mention of parents was a trigger for me. people whose families actually love them do not know what it's like

2

Anonymous OP 1d

my parents THINK they love me, but they don't. they "love" some warped idea of what I am that has never been true to reality, something that I have never been. and neither of them even really know what love is, because it sure as fuck isn't trying to control people like they're extensions of yourself. IIRC my mother basically admitted she sees her kids as an extension of herself and it's part of why i'm no contact w/ her

7

Anonymous #3 1d

good for you for trying to talk to this person politely! you’re stronger than me because even reading these comments is enough to piss me off

6

Anonymous #4 21h

Thank you so much. That is what I needed to hear.

0

Anonymous #4 21h

I'm sorry you're in the same boat. I feel much better knowing I'm not wrong for feeling the way I feel. My parents have never acknowledged any of their abuse because they genuinely do think it was love and they too are incapable of actual love. They always try to gaslight me into believing it wasn't abuse to shame me for distancing myself.

0

Anonymous #4 21h

You were the only person who actually understood and was able to provide empathy instead of sympathy. I hope you have a beautiful day 💖

0

Anonymous #5 21h

That's great for you. I'm not a normal person. Please don't pretend like you know anything about what it's like to not have a loving family. That's why I'm bitter. Not because you love your family but because you try to offer expertise that you don't have.

-2

Anonymous OP 19h

I didn’t say I have any expertise in that area. Glad you can see you’re not in the norm. You should seek help (not from AI, bozo) because this is genuinely the ramblings of someone in psychosis.

6

Anonymous #5 18h

You are acting like your input is of value when in reality it’s not. That’s what I meant. Also btw the image I posted with this is literally representing the duality between the way I smile politely when people gush over their family vs what’s going on in my spirit. Don’t act like you are above me.

-1

Anonymous #5 18h

Anger is much easier to address when you label at as psychosis. No wonder you refuse to actually hear me. You can’t fathom why I am angry so you label it as psychosis. That’s a dick move.

-1

Anonymous #5 18h

also notice how I asked you to mind your jurisdiction and instead of saying something like “I’m sorry you’re right. I have no skin in this game so I can’t give any meaningful input and i will refrain from further unwarranted counterproductive input” but instead you became defensive.

-1

Anonymous #5 18h

i’m perfectly grounded by the way I’m breathing at a nice slow rate of four seconds in and eight seconds out. My nervous system is perfectly in tune. I am feeling justified anger caused by you and your behavior. That’s not my fault. I can change my state of mind, but that doesn’t change the fact that you induced it.

-3

Anonymous OP 18h

aw you got this from ai 😭

4

Anonymous #5 18h

are these “ramblings of psychosis” or am I neurodivergent and you’re being ableist towards me? am I not allowed to have afterthoughts? Am I not allowed to have my thoughts come in gradually? Is the way that my mind naturally works just not allowed to be that way? is that what you’re telling me? I hope you understand that I’m being sarcastic and bitchy on purpose because you are being an exactly the kind of bitch i was complaining about.

-1

Anonymous #5 18h

put it through an AI tester stupid I’ve been using my voice this whole time

1

Anonymous #5 18h

against you’re attacking me instead of listening to my words see how you’re doing the same thing that I just called out. Good job with self-awareness.

0

Anonymous #5 18h

I’m using text to speech why do you think there are so many fucking typos?

0

Anonymous #5 18h

by the way, when you see that you’re upsetting someone, the proper response is not to dig in further

-1

Anonymous #5 18h

Is it really that hard for you to admit that you’re wrong?

-1

Anonymous #5 18h

you’re obviously just upset because you feel insecure about being bitch made and relying on mommy and daddy

-2

Anonymous #5 18h

speak, heathen.

-2

Anonymous #5 18h

I don‘t trust people to give advice on things they don’t understand! now when you hear that you should be able to say “that’s totally reasonable. how can I better understand?” and just move on like any normal person would do. even if you can’t relate to the situation, you shouldn’t put all your bitterness on other people simply because they aren’t codependent like you.

1

Anonymous OP 17h

holy shit. 9 COMMENTS without a response from me. jesus christ you’re actually insane.

5

Anonymous #5 14h

I think it may be ragebait

9

Anonymous #1 13h

I genuinely hope so because any other reasoning is pretty bleak

4

Anonymous #5 13h

There’s no fucking way they are serious about the picture. All of the rest of it could I guess be real but the picture thing? No.

6

Anonymous #5 11h

Dude everything they say is a form of defense. Theyre gonna tire themselves out this way. Also from my original first reply it seems they never considered im in the same position and can relate to their scenario. Just because the statement theyre saying is controversial towards a group of people when someone points it out they immediately assume im “one of those people”

1

Anonymous OP 11h

Op, i am also neurodivergent. I am autistic. I am also LGBTQ and also cannot rely on my parents. Your lack of reason is not because of those aspects, because the way you’re acting is kind of insane (in the nicest way possible). You’re blowing this out of proportion and im really sorry if my og reply made you feel targeted.

1