LGBTQIA+ on Yik Yak | Queer people under the age of 24 refuse to see nuance or understand how sociology works and that’s clear every time a bisexual person points out that refusing to date them based solely on the sexuality is biphobic and then the comment are “BUT LES4LES!!!”

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LGBTQIA+ 20h

Queer people under the age of 24 refuse to see nuance or understand how sociology works and that’s clear every time a bisexual person points out that refusing to date them based solely on the sexuality is biphobic and then the comment are “BUT LES4LES!!!”

Anonymous 19h

To be honest it seems like you’re the one failing to see the nuance here. Can you understand why someone who is part of a specific minority would prefer to date someone else who lives that same experience?

Anonymous 19h

It’s not about refusing to date you. It’s really not about you at all. It’s about wanting to be with someone who understands what you live with, and who has lived that same specific experience (an experience which is often very isolating and misunderstood)

Anonymous 19h

what lesbian hurt you that you gotta air out your laundry all over this page on yikyak?

Anonymous 19h

i keep trying to explain to people how isolating the lesbian experience is and why it’s preferable to share that feeling with someone else. straight women don’t lose anything by being with a man, they’ve never felt isolated for being with men. in fact, i’d argue they share more in common with bi men than straight men because how much the patriarchy and misogyny oppress them both. plus straight men aren’t even the same genre of straight so how are they relatable

Anonymous 19h

Nah, you’re the problem. You complain people ignore nuance WHILE ACTIVELY IGNORING THE NUANCE PEOPLE ARE TELLING YOU ABOUT

Anonymous 19h

i’m not trying to be rude op, i understand ur frustration because i used to think it was biphobic too. but i promise u, not liking men at all is way more difficult to come to terms with than just liking women. both experience the homophobia, yes, but coming to the realization that you don’t like men feels earth shattering because of how much of our society revolves around men. as girls so much of our childhood revolves around being boy crazy and it feels isolating to never have experienced that.

Anonymous 19h

It’s weird cause the biphobia conversation isn’t even about les4les but they’ll still insert themselves into the conversation anyway

Anonymous 16h

I’m losing my mind at some of these comments 😂 Wanting to date someone because they are a lesbian is fine. But not wanting to date a bisexual person specifically because they are bi is biphobic. If you met someone who ticked literally all of your boxes except for the fact that they were bi, you wouldn’t date them… like yeah that’s biphobic. Saying I lack nuance when you’re seeing people based entirely on their sexuality is wild

-4

Anonymous

#1 19h

this being downvoted literally proves how little people understand the lesbian experience and how isolating it feels to not be attracted to men or be a man. it’s tiring.

Anonymous

#1 19h

And I keep trying to explain to people how being a bisexual woman earns you all the same sexism and homophobia as being a lesbian plus isolation from their straight friends and family while with another women and the gay friends and family while with a man. I guarantee that people saying that being a bisexual makes it impossible to relate to the lesbian experience are full of shit

-1

Anonymous

OP 19h

i think you missed the aspect where i explained the lack of interest in men being a big part of the les4les preference. i’m not even les4les but if you’re not a lesbian, you genuinely don’t understand the feeling and that’s okay. lesbians are a minority within the lgbt community and it’s a unique experience bisexual people don’t fully understand.

Anonymous

#1 19h

there’s so much more i can go into but i’ll leave it hear unless you want to have a productive conversation about it.

Anonymous

#1 19h

just realized i used the wrong here/hear… shh no one say anything…

Anonymous

OP 18h

can bisexuals relate to not liking men?

Anonymous

#7 16h

My relationships do not typically consist of in-depth talks about who we find attractive and how

-4

Anonymous

OP 16h

cool. that wasnt the question

Anonymous

#1 15h

As a bi teenager, I never experienced the “boy crazy” faze because many of the people I had crushes on were women. I know that it was isolating because I lived through it. I have since met other bi girls who went through something similar to me. It was earth shattering for me to realize I didn’t only like men, as queerness of any kind was a punchline in my family. This is what I mean when I’m telling you that bi women do have shared experiences with lesbians.

-1

Anonymous

OP 15h

do you have the shared experience of not liking men?

Anonymous

#3 15h

Me, apparently ignoring the nuance of understanding that some lesbians want to date other lesbians but the complete and total refusal to even consider bi people might have something to do with internalized bias

-2

Anonymous

#7 15h

Let’s list the shared experiences we would have: 1) feeling isolated from peers due to sexuality 2) being bullied by peers due to sexuality 3) being ostracized by family due to sexuality 4) being sexualized by men die to our sexuality 5) not fitting in to traditional roles due to sexuality 6) being a women in general and facing sexism due to that

-1

Anonymous

OP 15h

cool, thats not the question. do lesbians and bisexuals have the shared experience of not liking men. yes or no?

Anonymous

OP 15h

7) hobbies and interest unrelated to our genders or sexualities 8) goals unrelated to our genders or sexualities Should I go on? Or do you think that liking the same amount of genders matters more than all that?

-1

Anonymous

OP 15h

ofc we have shared experiences. we’re both queer. but take all of what you said and add the additional struggle of never being able to relate to or take comfort in likeness to men. most of our media assumes women like men. most lesbians have never experienced that at all.

Anonymous

#1 15h

What about bisexuals who have only dated women? What about lesbians who have been in relationships with men before discovering the sexuality? I feel like there’s a lot of missing nuance here

-1

Anonymous

#5 15h

No fr they’re so defensive about it but they’re always the ones to bring it up

-1

Anonymous

OP 15h

I want you to acknowledge that not liking men at all is a fundamentally different experience than liking men and women, due to the fact that one likes men and rhe other doesn’t

Anonymous

OP 15h

bisexuals who have only dated women have still felt attraction to men? as a lesbian who HAS dated a man i think that’s exactly what made me understand why les4les is important. comphet temporarily ruined my life. i fell into severe depression after realizing i didn’t like men because it meant noticing that men make their way into so many of our conversations as women and i felt like something was wrong with me. i could explain sooo much more about my personal experience but we can move on.

Anonymous

OP 15h

I’m starting to worry that you can’t read.

Anonymous

#1 15h

Just answer this question: if you met someone who was bi, but they were 100% you type physically, mentally, personality wise, understood everything about you on a deeply personal level even if they didn’t experience it (which is what good partners try to do),would you still not want to date them because of the fact they’re bi?

-1

Anonymous

OP 15h

answer my question first. yes or no?

Anonymous

#7 15h

Wasn’t talking to you

-1

Anonymous

OP 15h

you’re afraid to answer the question. yes or no?

Anonymous

OP 15h

i’m tired of these bullshit ass hypotheticals. what’s difficult to understand about minority groups wanting to seek each other out for comfort?

Anonymous

#7 15h

Okay, yes, the experience of being bi is different to the experience of being a lesbian. The experience of being white is different from being black. The experience of being tall is different from being short. The experience of being me is different from being you. I think the idea that people who don’t have the exact same experience can’t come to empathize with and love people of a different experience is a deeply limiting idea that will only lead to isolationism

-1

Anonymous

OP 15h

well this is awkward because i think if someone is black4black or t4t that’s also valid considering they’re both part of very marginalized groups that face unique levels of oppression. the truth is, society does treat us differently on the basis of these factors and sometimes just “coming together” is harder to deal with than is written on paper.

Anonymous

#1 15h

I think that if you want to date someone who has the exact same sexualities and traumas as you because that’s the only way they could understand you means that the only way to find someone would be to clone yourself 🤷 I also think that this is an opinion that is only used to justify not dating bisexuals and if you did it based on any other status (like race, mental health, physical ability, etc) people wouldn’t have such a problem with pointing out that it’s a problematic way to seek a partner

-1

Anonymous

#1 15h

Okay now answer my question, it should be an easy yes or no right?

-1

Anonymous

OP 15h

i think if you’re part of a minority group you are 100% valid in wanting to seek out people with similar experiences to yours. why is this hard to grasp?

Anonymous

OP 15h

then first answer #7 question 😁

Anonymous

#1 15h

I’m not saying it’s not okay to seek out people with similar experiences, but nobody is going to have the exact carbon copy same experience as the next person. If you would write of dating someone you were very compatible with except for having one different identity marker (eg, race or sexuality), then I think that’s not only unfair to them but to yourself

-1

Anonymous

#1 15h

I did ten minutes ago 😇 Stop dodging yes or no

-1

Anonymous

OP 14h

well i’m not les4les so your hypothetical doesn’t apply to me 😁

Anonymous

#1 14h

What the fuck are you even fighting about then?????? Get over yourself

-1

Anonymous

OP 14h

who are you to make that distinction for me? clearly a lot of people DO feel happier in relationships with people who have shared experiences.

Anonymous

OP 14h

because i don’t need to be les4les to understand it is a valid preference???

Anonymous

#1 14h

Also the hypothetical didn’t say anything about being les4les anyway, but let’s make this less words to make it easy for you: Would you date a bi person yes or no

-1

Anonymous

OP 14h

well given as we’re talking about les4les (as the og post says) i don’t see how this relevant or why you want MY preferences.

Anonymous

#1 14h

Because I answered #7’s question, so let’s be fair here. Or I can take your refusal as the clear answer that it is and feel personally satisfied knowing that my assumption about you is correct 🤷

-1

Anonymous

OP 14h

i’m literally dating a bisexual woman. you know shit LMFAO

Anonymous

OP 14h

but i didn’t even wanna say that because how crazy irrelevant it is to the conversation. because i’m not arguing for myself. i’m arguing on behalf of the les4les community.

Anonymous

#1 14h

same here im quite literally bi

Deleted 14h

Comment Deleted

Anonymous

#1 14h

Does your partner know you think she can’t be empathetic enough to sympathize with your trauma?

Anonymous 14h

yeah, she doesn’t understand the lesbian experience and we’ve had lots of conversations about it. i PERSONALLY, let me repeat, PERSONALLY, do not mind. but that is not the case for a lot of other lesbians and i can understand why given as i’ve felt similar to them.

Anonymous 14h

you not being able to make the distinction that lesbians and bisexual have separate experiences when it comes to sexuality might be the reason no lesbians wanna date you tho, might have nothing to do with les4les. just some food for thought.

Anonymous

OP 14h

me when i talk out of my ass:

Anonymous

#1 14h

lmafo wtf did they say i cant see it for some reason

Anonymous

#7 14h