LGBTQIA+ on Yik Yak | AMAB NB here, it’s insane how I have to justify being nonbinary to a lot of people, even in the trans community because I’m not the NB stereotype of androgyny / light fem I’m happy with myself but because I don’t fit the archetype, I’m an imposter

Yik Yak

Download

Join communities on Yik Yak Download

LGBTQIA+ 9w

AMAB NB here, it’s insane how I have to justify being nonbinary to a lot of people, even in the trans community because I’m not the NB stereotype of androgyny / light fem I’m happy with myself but because I don’t fit the archetype, I’m an imposter

LGBTQIA+ 10w

The way alot of AMAB enbies are treated is honestly insane and blatantly transphobic

802

Anonymous 9w

i hate the way most cis people interpret NB— no, it’s not just “woman with cool hair and sense of style” 😭 terfs can eat my shit

Anonymous 9w

it's tough because our culture doesn't build an expectation for what nonbinary should look like so we don't even have a beauty standard to follow, and it also calls into question the existence of what "real" gender looks like anyways. so i don't know if there's really any winning until we break down the next generation's concepts on what gender is and isn't

Anonymous 9w

my ex is nb and so am i and it hurt to see them misgendered more than me. it got to the point that they asked me to stop reminding people. i never did, i just didn’t do it in front of them because they deserved basic respect and still do.

Anonymous 9w

You are non-binary and you are enough regardless of how you look. I will defend masc enbies until the day I die

Anonymous 9w

As a AFAB NB I feel this so much.

Anonymous 9w

I will try to refrain from going into my cultural anthropology rant, but this really shows how patriarchy really hurts everyone. That presenting yourself as masc is so praised that you need to do extra work to be fem to "pass" as NB for AMAB. Its ridiculous

Anonymous 9w

AMAB AFAB?? I feel like I should know this considering my pronouns are he/they

🦨

Anonymous 9w

I’m gender fluid and experience this a lot because I’m AFAB and still like to dress femininely sometimes

Anonymous 9w

People fr need to put aside their preconceived notions of gender expression and just let people exist as themselves. There’s no one way to be nonbinary, trans, a man or a woman !!

Anonymous 9w

THANK YOU FOR SAYING THIS BC I SEE THIS SO MUCH AS A MASC PRESENTING AMAB NB PERSON 🧍 Like I'm sorry I don't fit ur stereotypes

Anonymous 9w

Y’all wtf does having a small dick got to do with being enby??? I’m also AMAB enby but I’ve never heard that 😭😭🥀💔

Anonymous 9w

I feel uncomfortable with my own colleges LGBTQ+ group for this exact reason. They also excluded me from stuff when I did try to be part of their group

Anonymous 9w

I feel like (AFAB Agender, so not NB but yeah), so many people will invalidate your gender as soon as you don’t like, actively make yourself either more masculine or more feminine. Because like most people assume I’m cisgendered because I have longer hair I tend to have a more feminine style and the couple of days I do have a more masculine style don’t count for some reason. Like I don’t get how overall there’s an understanding with trans masc/fems that how they look on the outside doesn’t match

Anonymous 9w

One of my ex best friends is amab nb and no matter how many times we tried to correct our friends in our group, they’d always be misgendered, even by people who would otherwise respect anyone else’s identity :/

Anonymous 9w

Someone told me I’m not nb cuz I don’t have a small dick and dyed hair

Anonymous 9w

“Haha you’ll get to she/her or he/him eventually” not everyone is binary trans. Nonbinary people don’t owe you androgyny. It’s an awful standard and I’m so sorry

Anonymous 9w

I’m sad I can relate to this

Anonymous 9w

another AMAB NB/genderfluid person here, and yeah, the problem is 100% present within the genderqueer community as well. when i was first figuring out my identity, all the resources from people online were from an AFAB perspective and assumed that the person reading would also be AFAB. there were so many tips on how to look more masculine, but never more feminine without going to the extreme. AMAB NBs are practically invisible within the community, especially if they lean into their masculinity

Anonymous 9w

i have a friend who’s amab nb and they get misgendered the most out of our friend group and i always feel bad. i really think it’s something we need to work on as a community :(

Anonymous 9w

it’s so sad 😔 as a trans guy i love and support you and all AMAB NBs 🫶

Anonymous 9w

YOU ARE VALID!!🤍🤍

Anonymous 9w

Honestly kind of same lol

Anonymous 9w

What is amab

Anonymous

#2 9w

It hurts all of us! The archetype of what a nonbinary person is limits all of our abilities to have masculine or non-typical expression, and just lumps all of us under the “alternative feminine / androgynous” style, which while it’s admittedly a cool style, it doesn’t define all of us!

Anonymous

#3 9w

If you’re asking what AMAB or AFAB means, it just means Assigned Male/Female At Birth, I don’t expect everyone to know it, Dw lol

Anonymous

OP 9w

Oooh ok thank you!!

Anonymous

#8 9w

I totally agree though! And it doesn’t even just hurt AMAB NB’s, but all NB’s! It limits our expression, identity, and how we can be viewed. I know plenty of NB people who get lumped in with trans men for being “too masculine”

Anonymous

#9 9w

See unfortunately it’s not even exclusive to cis people, that idea persists even in a lot of our community, at least subconsciously

Anonymous

OP 9w

Godddd yeah that’s true. it’s a shame really, community infighting and bigotry sets us way back. it’s exactly what conservatives want from us 😞

Anonymous

#9 9w

Yeah, I imagine it’s mostly unintentional, but regardless of why, the attitude is still very harmful and influences the broader public notion when even trans people are harbouring damaging views

Anonymous

#10 9w

I get that unfortunately, I’ve been called the “Golden Retriever boyfriend” which I get is more a character archetype than a gender archetype, but I still don’t like being referred to as “the boyfriend”. I don’t remind people anymore either because it’s just exhausting to have to keep explaining it and correcting when people seem to only be perceiving me as male no matter what

Anonymous

#11 9w

Well if that’s the strata, then I’m the manliest man around 😎

Anonymous

light_blue_skunk31 9w

Absolutely! I’m not gf but I can totally see how the attitudes would negatively affect yall too. You rock though! Keep being awesome! 🫶

Anonymous

#15 9w

They’re inside so if someone who’s trans fem dresses more masculine it overall isn’t as invalidating within the community but them if your NB or agender and don’t maintain androgyny its not true? I don’t understand why NB and agender have to maintain androgyny to actually be one of those, and not just no it’s how my brain comprehends my own gender and I just wear whatever is comfortable???

Anonymous

#19 9w

I believe it stems from the assumption that all trans people are dysphoric about their natural genitals, which isn’t true, I’m happy with my genitals, and know many others are too

Anonymous

#18 9w

Exactly! I don’t fit the male stereotypes, or the nonbinary stereotypes, I’m my own thing and still nonbinary for it!

Anonymous

#14 9w

Don’t be sad you relate to it, be happy that you’re different and unique!

Anonymous

#17 9w

It’s unfortunate but very common, hope that those friends do better in the future 🫶

Anonymous

#16 9w

As are you kind stranger!! 🫶

Anonymous

#15 9w

Idk either, but unfortunately it’s the life we have to live. And Agender counts for this topic, you all go through the same struggles as us, same as gender fluid or any other gnc identity. You’re valid as hell, no matter how you dress or act, stay awesome 🫶

Anonymous

#21 9w

there’s just a constant assumption that if you’re nonbinary you MUST be AFAB and it just feels so isolating

Anonymous

#21 9w

This!! I would LOVE more tips! I wanted to get into HRT to get certain features, but all I can find is oriented to trans girls who want different effects from me. I have to either choose between advice for trans girls or advice for AFAB nb’s, far from ideal. Would love to see more resources for those like us!

Anonymous

OP 9w

Thanks 💜 you stay awesome too, I’m actually kinda glad there’s a community of gnc on this form, I hadn’t realized lol

Anonymous

#15 9w

We’re here! A surprisingly small, or at least quiet bunch, but we’re here! Maybe we should get our own forum or something for GNC people’s, that’d be kind of cool

Anonymous

#22 9w

“Passing” is cisgender propaganda dress act do whatever gives you joy and gender euphoria

Anonymous

#22 9w

Truth!! Do whatever you want, have fun, be ungovernable, don’t worry about “passing”, worry about confidence and happiness

Anonymous

OP 9w

If your gender relies on validation from cis people, you need to do some serious soul searching <3

Anonymous

OP 9w

i feel that in the AFAB way. im a very caring person and i tend to do my best to make sure my friends are taken care of. this earns me the title of "mom" or "the mom friend". i only have one friend who has never said this to me and hes my bff and the most understanding cis person i've ever met. like true ally. anyway enbies UNITE. we are SO COOL.

Anonymous

#24 9w

I’m so sorry to hear that, unfortunately it’s a common experience, I understand 🫂

Anonymous

OP 9w

Hey AMAB nb here. I have found clothing to be very helpful in signaling that I’m nb. I have it a bit easier cause I’m more on the feminine side but I get what you mean when you talk about the mistreat. If you want any tips on dressing/acting more feminine(not that you can’t be masculine and nb) or just wanna chat my dms are always open :)

Anonymous

#2 9w

this! i’m more feminine presenting but when i tell people i prefer they/them pronouns they’re like “you don’t look NB?” like ??? what does NB look like then??

Anonymous

#25 9w

Thanks friend! I’ve personally felt very disillusioned with feminine style, but I’ll take some styling tips, I’m always open to learning a new style, just to add another thing to my wardrobe, or to potentially pass it on to someone else!

Anonymous

#26 9w

I totally agree, glad you recognised it for your friend, and thank you for wanting to see the community work on it, you’re greatly appreciated! I’m sure your friend really appreciates you caring

Anonymous

#27 9w

Exactly! There is no way to be nonbinary because nonbinary isn’t a gender, it’s an umbrella term for refusing to conform to the binary system of gender

Anonymous

#29 9w

Assigned Male at Birth