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Genuine question looking for guidance: I've (m) been exploring being queer a lot over the past couple of years, slowly realizing i've held on to a lot of misogyny that's impacted my relationship with gay romance, and recently have been struggling :/
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Anonymous 6w

My question is, i live openly bisexual now (though i prefer the label queer) and have been with transmasc men and loved it, but don't find the same affection or attraction to cis men :( is this something i should be concerned about? Something about cis men generates a lot of shame for me, and so i recognize that it's likely growing pains coming to terms with my own queer identity. But i don't want to ignore potentially appropriating an identity that i don't actually share, yeah know?

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 6w

just be whoever u want to be! use whatever label feels right. u could do some work on the shame and other internalized things u might have and try cis guys again, or u could never try again, and ur sexuality will be just as valid. the queer community’s whole thing is do what makes u happy!

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 6w

Thank you for replying! I think this is really just what i needed to be reminded of :) and it helps airing it out in an empathetic space, ty!

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 6w

As a trans man who has known people in a similar situation as you and has a very loving and respectful partner who is gay but for their own reasons cannot be with cis men, its ok, theres nothing wrong with you, labels can be helpful sometimes but they’re really not one size fits all. If a label doesnt really fit, you don’t have to use it. If you still identify with it, go ahead. The only thing that matters is that you’re treating yourself and the people you’re with with love and respect.

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