Anonymous #1 9w

She asked him if he was okay before any of this escalated, and he told her, “I’m just mellow.” But it was obvious something was bothering him and instead of engaging in that moment, he deflected. Then, instead of talking to her privately, he chose to bring it up in front of everyone. That’s not the same as healthy conflict resolution. It feels more like avoidance that built up until it became performative and reactive.

1

Anonymous #1 9w

So no, saying “he should’ve spoken up earlier” isn’t blaming him for what happened. It’s acknowledging that he had multiple points where he could have expressed himself honestly. Instead, he let things simmer until it contributed to the situation boiling over. That’s not the same as saying he deserved what happened. It’s just recognizing that communication, or lack of it, plays a role in escalation on both sides.

1

Anonymous #1 9w

We are talking about two different things. I’m talking about the bedroom situation that happened in the finale.

1

Anonymous OP 9w

you have to understand that all of it is built up frustration because they have not talked about any of it at all. All of it is connected to every single moment.

1

Anonymous #1 9w

I don’t care how frustrated you are. If someone says no to you asking for sex, you cut that shit out immediately. You don’t continue to push them or threat them with having a bad day. Also, since the communication between the two of them have been that bad then why would she even think that he’d be open to having sex when the problem they’re having is that she isn’t okay with pda but is okay with sex and he doesn’t get that?

0

Anonymous OP 9w

she asked for cuddles, not sex.

3

Anonymous #1 9w

He just did an interview saying that she wanted to have sex with him at first. Then she asked for cuddles.

1

Anonymous OP 9w

So that means she clearly accepted his answer of no to sex? Otherwise she would’ve continued to ask about it rather than asking to do something else that is still intimate but won’t require him to stay awake long

2

Anonymous OP 9w

like #2 said that means she respected his answer towards sex and then asked for cuddles.

1

Anonymous #2 9w

Still doesn’t take a way from the fact that he had to tell her no twice for her to switch gears. Again if someone says no to you asking for sex you should stop asking immediately. No means no. And even when she switched to asking for cuddles, she still wasn’t in the right because she basically threatened him aka cuddle me or you’re going to have to deal with me being upset.

1

Anonymous OP 9w

…. And she stopped asking for sex that’s why she asked for cuddles. Cuddles aren’t sex. Saying no to sex is not like saying no to cuddles. Regardless, he should have been honest a long time ago when it came to his emotions. All of them had been building up and contributed to how he interacted with her.

2

Anonymous OP 9w

Should she have respected the no to cuddles too? Absolutely. The countdown thing wasn’t the healthiest move, but let’s not act like asking for emotional closeness after being rejected for physical intimacy is some kind of consent violation. That’s a huge leap. Respecting a no is what matters, and she did that with the initial request. Asking isn’t a crime, ignoring a no and doing the action is, and that didn’t happen here.

1

Anonymous #1 9w

But he also didn’t want to cuddle her. He clearly didn’t want to touch her and he didn’t. Consent isn’t only about sex. You do know that right? You don’t have unlimited access to someone’s body and if in that moment he didn’t want to cuddle her then he doesn’t have to.

1

Anonymous OP 9w

So you’re saying just because he didn’t give in then it’s no problem? Because she wasn’t just asking. If it was just asking she would’ve stopped at “so cuddle me then,” but instead she took it a step further and said “if not cuddling me is worth me being upset tomorrow that’s the battle you’re picking so congratulations.” Yall always forget that part like it isn’t important. She basically told that man “cuddle me or else” which is the problem. That’s not okay behavior.

1

Anonymous OP 9w

No one’s saying he had to cuddle her and yes, of course he has the right to say no to any kind of physical touch. That’s not being debated. But let’s be real, saying “if not cuddling me is worth me being upset tomorrow” is emotionally reactive, not coercive. She wasn’t threatening him, she was expressing hurt in a clumsy way. That kind of statement isn’t “cuddle me or else,” it’s “this matters to me and I’m going to feel rejected if you shut me out.”

1

Anonymous OP 9w

Is it emotionally mature? No. But equating that with violating his bodily autonomy is a huge stretch. She didn’t touch him without consent, she didn’t force anything, she expressed frustration, which isn’t always graceful, but it’s not abusive. We can criticize her communication without acting like she crossed a line that she didn’t actually cross. Let’s not water down what true boundary violations are by stretching definitions this far.

1

Anonymous #1 9w

It quite literally is cuddle me or else because she’s saying if you don’t cuddle me then im going to be upset tomorrow. It’s not a clumsy way of saying anything. She was trying to get him to do what she wanted by letting him know that things are going to be difficult tomorrow if he didn’t start complying. And if he did suddenly cuddle her then it wouldn’t have been because he wanted to but because he was trying to avoid her bad attitude.

1

Anonymous OP 9w

He’s already expressed his disinterest in doing anything with her so why would she need that last statement. You’re saying we can criticize her communication but you’re not looking at what she’s saying and the tone they were said in. Instead you’re excusing it by calling it “clumsy” and drawing conclusions on what they meant in that moment with context from later on in the episode.

1

Anonymous OP 9w

You’re allowed to interpret her comment as manipulative. No one’s denying it came off poorly. But calling it “cuddle me or else” in the same tone we use for coercion or threats is an extreme stretch. She didn’t force him, didn’t override a no, and didn’t touch him without consent. She made an emotionally immature comment, not a demand with consequences.

1

Anonymous OP 9w

That matters. There’s room to critique her communication without blowing it up into something it wasn’t. Let’s keep the scale of behavior in perspective. That’s how real accountability works.

1