but then the people were like “sorry we don’t have to go boxes or anything!” and like it was a full fucking meal. like trays of meat and rice and salad and dessert. they expected me to eat it all??? wtf. and it also was meat which i don’t usually eat, and its basically like we had an animal killed and we just to fucking play with its dead meat and throw it away. I am distraught. I want to kill myself. I don’t know why. everything in the world just seems horrible.