Anonymous #2 14w

Looking back, I think I’ve had it my whole life, at least since Catholic school ofc. But I chalked it up to normal anxiety and guilt. It wasn’t until high school that I started to get more extreme intrusive thoughts. I legit thought I was losing my mind and I freaked out. I googled “Why am I having thoughts I don’t want?” And OCD popped up. “I was like wtf I don’t have that I’m not clean ☠️” Then I kept getting more and more scary thoughts, I kept fighting and compulsing,

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Anonymous #2 14w

and ruminating and googling for answers and I would spiral every day. I accepted that I had OCD in freshman year of college but I thought it was just another anxiety thing. There were times I was convinced I was losing my mind or becoming a danger to myself. I was locked in a cycle of crippling doubt and fear. I had talk therapists but they were lousy. Then last summer, I had a flare up so bad, the thoughts so loud, I couldn’t eat, sleep, drive myself to work. I literally became housebound in

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Anonymous #2 14w

fear of losing my mind in public or hurting myself

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Anonymous OP 14w

I see maybe it is just my anxiety because it’s not really like intrusive thoughts

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Anonymous #2 14w

So then I finally decided to get specialized OCD therapy and do ERP. My therapist is amazing. We worked through the thoughts and still do each week. My thoughts are still terrifying to this day, like rn I’m obsessing if life is real or not which is so fun. But even though they’re crippling at times, they’ve become easier to deal with. Resist compulsions and let yourself feel scared. It also took me a long time to come around to taking an SSRI because I thought that meant I was inherently broken

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Anonymous #2 14w

I’m so sorry you had to deal with all that good you got diagnosed. I think what I’ve got going on might be more of paranoia idk.

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Anonymous #2 14w

but I finally found the courage to start that journey and it’s helped me improve so so much. It’s still horrible and challenging every day. It still makes me afraid and cry and want to hide. But just know you’re not alone 🫶

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Anonymous #2 14w

If you want to talk more about it or dm maybe I could help you sort it out? I’m not a therapist or anything but ocd can be so sneaky it’s hard to tell what the signs are.

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