Anonymous #1 9w

I thought I could fight this alone:/ I have been for almost a decade. I don’t want to hear a professional telling me what’s wrong

6

Anonymous OP 9w

Why?

3

Anonymous #1 9w

That’s 1 more thing my brain will constantly think about

1

Anonymous OP 9w

Oh like what the counselor is thinking?

1

Anonymous #1 9w

Yes. I take things personally. I know there’s no judgement, but that’s not what my mind will think.

1

Anonymous OP 9w

Oh yes that’s totally valid

3

Anonymous #1 9w

It’s either I seek help, or I seek dopamine. One leads uphill and the other leads downhill

1

Anonymous OP 9w

Yes! That is also a true statement

1

Anonymous #1 9w

I just don’t know where to go. I want to get better. My mind wants me to get worse and worse

1

Anonymous OP 9w

Oh I’ve totally been there! Go to counseling!! It helps! Way more than drugs do

1

Anonymous #1 9w

So therapy instead of psych? I do not want meds because I know I’ll abuse that again

1

Anonymous OP 9w

My body is just a test subject at this point

1

Anonymous OP 9w

What kind of meds tho? You can’t really abuse SSRIs can you?

1

Anonymous #1 9w

Oh I abused SNRI to see how serotonin syndrome was like. Took like 1.6 grams of cymbalta and I cold turkey’d Effexor ER

1

Anonymous #1 9w

The nurse looked at me like, “what the fuck?”

1

Anonymous #1 9w

Also my pupils dilated 5mm but ECG was normal

1

Anonymous OP 9w

Dang! Yeah I was gonna say meds + psych

1

Anonymous #1 9w

No meds because to be honest, I would 100% purposely get serotonin syndrome again. That shit felt AMAZING😕

1

Anonymous #1 9w

Sad to say AND no pun intended. That ER trip was the happiest event of my life

1

Anonymous OP 9w

No way?! What was it like?!

1

Anonymous #1 9w

Super happy. Eyes wide open. Your whole body shakes while feeling a bit sick. You CAN die from it though

1

Anonymous #1 9w

So I was actually lucky my heart didn’t stop on me

1

Anonymous OP 9w

Oh no! I’m glad you’re ok!

1

Anonymous #1 9w

Seriously. Don’t. I couldn’t drink water or eat for a while. Muscle felt weak. I was on IV for a couple days.

1

Anonymous OP 9w

I won’t, sounds awful

1

Anonymous #1 9w

Back then, I was kind of sad that I didn’t pass away. That was the intent

1

Anonymous #1 9w

But now that I look at it, I am too. Thank youuu

1

Anonymous OP 9w

I’m very happy you’re still here! I’d suggest counseling

1

Anonymous #1 9w

That’s what I’ve telling myself since high school. I’m happy that you’re happy:) I don’t like talking about my feelings and problems. But if I bottle it up again, who knows what’ll happen the next time I burst

1

Anonymous OP 9w

Yes! You need to talk about them! Once you start, it gets easier to share more

1

Anonymous #1 9w

I HATE opening up. It makes me feel weak

1

Anonymous OP 9w

Hey! We all need each other

1

Anonymous #1 9w

Yes we do. I’ve been told many times by girls that I was too sensitive so because of that, I’ve kept everything to myself

1

Anonymous OP 9w

Hey same here!!

1

Anonymous #1 9w

That made me want to steer away from women

1

Anonymous OP 9w

Oh it made me try harder which creeped them out

1

Anonymous #1 9w

That’s the problem. You should have to try. Everything should flow naturally

1

Anonymous OP 9w

Yeah I wish I had known that

1

Anonymous #1 9w

Yeah. Me too. Something my parents NEVER taught me. Especially my mom

1

Anonymous OP 9w

Oh no! Why’s that?

1

Anonymous #1 9w

Not going to lie, when I was a kid, I was a momma’s boy. I’m not sure. Maybe she never thought of me dating?

1

Anonymous OP 9w

Oh ok I see the dilemma

1

Anonymous #1 9w

I know I have to be okay being alone but it sucks. My grandpa recently passed and now my grandma is alone. I don’t want to imagine that as my life

1

Anonymous OP 9w

No way!?! Same!!

1

Anonymous #1 9w

Did he pass from aortic dissection too?

1

Anonymous OP 9w

Well so my grandma passed and my grandpa is alone. But she passed from dementia and blood clots

1

Anonymous #1 9w

Damn:/

1

Anonymous OP 9w

Yeah, not a good situation

1

Anonymous #1 9w

No sir it is not. At least he didn’t feel pain? Mine didn’t. Went up to use the bathroom one morning, never came out

1

Anonymous OP 9w

Oh dam! That’s awful

1

Anonymous #1 9w

It was painless. But his veins were huuuuuge

1

Anonymous OP 9w

Oh no! What caused it?

1

Anonymous #1 9w

Genetics? I’m sure he was losing blood over time. But I guess his vessels just had so much pressure, it just bursted?

1

Anonymous OP 9w

Agh! That’s awful! I’m so sorry

1

Anonymous #1 9w

I wasn’t close to him so I didn’t know what to feel

1

Anonymous #1 9w

On my biological dad’s side, a relative passed away from ALS. THAT is what my mom is worried about out

1

Anonymous OP 9w

Oh dam! I’d be worried too

1

Anonymous #1 9w

Yeah……….. Only time will tell.

1

Anonymous OP 9w

Well I’ll pray she won’t get it

1

Anonymous #1 9w

She won’t. 2 completely different family

1

Anonymous OP 9w

Oh ok good to hear

1

Anonymous #1 9w

:) Thankfully.

1

Anonymous OP 9w

I think ALS is scary

1