Mental Health on Yik Yak | It says a lot about my psyche that not only has my friend had to yell at me not to minimize the trauma from being SA’d, but that now I am starting to at least want to believe he isn’t a rapist (different victim) rather than accept reality.

Yik Yak

Download

Join communities on Yik Yak Download

Mental Health 9w

It says a lot about my psyche that not only has my friend had to yell at me not to minimize the trauma from being SA’d, but that now I am starting to at least want to believe he isn’t a rapist (different victim) rather than accept reality.

Anonymous 9w

To be clear, I do know how reality really is. That they were credibly accused of being a rapist and no doubt SA’d me, and that they have a long history of lying, gaslighting, and being generally sociopathic. But for some reason, maybe some twisted Stockholm syndrome adjacent pathology, I keep telling myself maybe I should listen to his “evidence” that he says he can produce to prove he is innocent.

Anonymous 9w

Not that I want him to be innocent, but that I want to for whatever reason not have to accept the reality of their guilt, and the fact that I was complicit in not recognizing what happened for what it was (severe mental illness made me incapable of comprehending most things or even reality from fantasy at the time)

Anonymous 9w

I wanna say you get over it, but honestly your brain is just trying to tell a story that you can live with. You’re okay. You’re not there anymore. And you don’t ever have to be in a situation with him like that again

Anonymous

forget_me_not 9w

I may not be there physically, but I am still there. I had a psychotic break after the assault (shortly thereafter, before I even realized what had happened), and ever since I feel a perpetual repeat of the events. How a matter of less than a minute (he finally backed off at that point, it felt like an eternity but it was less than a minute not that it negates the pain or trauma) has stretched on until today. I’m not in the room physically. But mentally, I never left.

Anonymous

OP 9w

That’s what I’m saying. Your body isn’t there but your mind is and that’s why you’re making excuses for this POS. Same thing happened to me, I was very lucky to have a support group of equally shitty people (but with good intentions) who never stopped drilling it into my head that I didn’t deserve what he did and that it was never my fault and I didn’t do anything to “let him”. Sounds like you’ve got some severe PTSD which I’d definitely recommend therapy for if you can afford it.